Every spring, it is customary for Orthodox Christians to celebrate Parents' Day or Radonitsa. The exact date of this day has not been established; it falls on different days every year. To determine what day Parents' Day falls on in 2021, you need to check the church calendar and find out when Easter is expected. These two holidays occur with an interval of only 9 days.
How to properly remember the deceased on Radonitsa
Let's start with the fact that neither on Easter (May 2), nor on the Bright Week following Easter (May 3-8), the dead are not remembered in the Church: there are no special services for the deceased, so-called memorial services, and they do not go to the cemetery.
And if someone happens to die on Easter, then the person is even buried according to a special Easter rite. Easter, the Bright Resurrection of Christ, is a holiday of victory over death, a holiday of the joyful news that by His Resurrection from the dead, Christ not only defeated death, but also gave life to “those in the tombs” - the dead. The Church tactfully gives us all the opportunity to be filled with Easter joy, to be established in it, and only then sets aside a special day so that we can remember our departed ones, and the day of commemoration itself has such a life-affirming name - Radonitsa. And on Radonitsa they try to come to the cemetery without fail. But since our prayer is more important for the soul of the deceased than any ritual around the graves, it is customary to start the day with a visit to the Divine Liturgy. Arriving at the beginning of the service in the church, believers submit a note with the name of the deceased for his prayerful commemoration at the altar during the liturgy. It is believed that there is no more effective prayer than the one pronounced in a low voice by the priest during the Sacrament of the Eucharist. Therefore, the so-called forty-mouths are often ordered for the deceased - prayerful remembrances during the Sacrament of the Eucharist, performed for forty days.
After the Divine Liturgy, churches serve an ecumenical or parental memorial service on Radonitsa. During the funeral service, we, trusting in God’s mercy, ask the deceased for forgiveness of his sins and blessed eternal life. Memorial services are special funeral services performed both before the burial of the deceased and after - on the 3rd, 9th, 40th days after death, on his birthday and death anniversary. It is important not only to defend the memorial service, but also to prayerfully participate in it.
Our ancestors came to Radonitsa to the cemetery only after church and prayer in it.
Parents' Saturday date in 2021
The Orthodox Church has designated 8 days throughout the entire calendar year when believers can pray for the departed. Four of them are tied to Lent, one to Easter, one to Trinity, and two more parental days are dedicated to the commemoration of fallen soldiers.
Radonitsa is usually celebrated on the ninth day after Easter. In 2021, Parents' Day falls on Tuesday, May 11, as Easter will be celebrated on May 2.
In addition, the dates of commemoration should be the birthday, name day and death of the deceased. It is advisable for relatives to make donations to churches, give alms to those in need, and read prayers.
In addition to Radonitsa, there are several more days ahead when it is necessary to remember the deceased in 2021:
- March 6 is the date of Ecumenical (meat-free) Saturday, 8 days before the first day of Lent;
- March 27, April 3 and 10 are the days of parental Saturdays of Lent, falling in its second, third, fourth weeks;
- May 9 (April 26, old style) - fallen soldiers are commemorated;
- June 19 – Trinity Saturday, on the ninth day after Ascension;
- November 6 - Demetrius Saturday, precedes the day of memory of Demetrius of Thessalonica (the date was established as a tribute to the memory of the soldiers of the Battle of Kulikovo, then it gradually became the date when every Orthodox warrior is commemorated).
These days are usually called parental Saturdays, since they always fall on a Saturday. They are not tied to specific dates, but depend on the moving Lenten-Easter cycle. The Church conducts a rite of remembrance of all the brothers in faith who have passed away from century to century, and organizes funeral all-night vigils and ecumenical memorial services.
Do the dead need our prayers? Why pray for the dead?
“Most people go into eternity with sins, without having time, due to unexpected death or illness and infirmity, to cleanse themselves of them, so that they find themselves guilty before the Justice of God,” explained one of the most revered elders of the Russian Orthodox Church, the spiritual father of three Russian patriarchs, Archimandrite Kirill (Pavlov). “But we know that in the future there will be only two places for people to stay: hell and heaven. The deceased, who have not been cleansed of sins, can no longer offer prayers for themselves; they cannot help their situation. They place all their hope only on those left alive on earth. They can help them and change their fate in the future life. If the gates of eternity suddenly opened before our eyes, we would see millions of souls stretching out their hands to those living on earth, silently asking for their help in easing their fate in the other world.”
The human soul is created immortal; it does not die along with its body and after separation from it, that is, after physical death, it appears before God for private judgment. Having gone through this private trial, until the general resurrection and the Last Judgment, the soul remains awaiting its eternal fate. Where exactly is it located? We are not allowed to know. “In My Father’s house are many mansions,” Jesus Christ says to His disciples. But since the soul is immortal, since it “abides,” even if it is unknown where, it means that it is not only within the reach of our prayers, but also needs them.
The two-thousand-year experience of the Church testifies: the afterlife of a person before the Last Judgment is not completely predetermined, and the prayer of the living, prayer filled with ardent and sincere love, is capable of changing this fate.
Who's celebrating?
Parents are a kind of profession. No one can teach it anywhere; knowledge and skills are acquired directly in the process of education.
Family members take part in the celebrations dedicated to this bright and joyful day. Mothers and fathers all over the world accept congratulations from their children. Godparents also have a direct connection to this day. Some charitable foundations and orphanages also take part in the ceremonial events, as their employees have replaced mothers and fathers for many children.
What can’t you do on Radonitsa?
But you shouldn’t take a formal approach to church commemoration—order a note from the church, and let them pray there. Professor of the Moscow Theological Academy A.I. Osipov explains why personal prayer for the deceased is important and it is not enough to simply order a commemoration. “Our trouble is that we often limit ourselves only to the external side of commemoration: funeral services, magpies, notes, candles, etc. We want to easily take the fish out of the pond... If I have a lot of money, I’ll send it to all the monasteries, to churches, to all priests and mothers! And this is called - I prayed. There, someone will pray in my place, and I won’t lift a finger, so that for the sake of my beloved (!) relative, I would at least a little refrain from anger, slander, condemnation, gluttony and other things, force myself to confession and Communion, to reading the Word of God, the Holy Fathers, to help the needy and the sick. We behave like typical pagans, as a result of which all our gifts to monasteries and churches turn out to be fruitless.”
Traditions
Although the holiday is very young, traditions are already emerging. Peacekeeping organizations carry out actions in many countries of the world in support of the rights of fathers, mothers and children. Charitable organizations and foundations collect funds (money, things and products) for families in need.
At educational lectures, international conferences and seminars, issues related to parents and children are raised. Feature films and documentaries are broadcast on television on the topic of family life and relationships within it. Youth organizations are involved in the events.
The media provide pages of their newspapers and magazines for the publication of feature articles. Competitions, crafts and drawing competitions are organized for children and their parents at city venues. Performances and theatrical performances in cultural institutions are waiting for their viewers (moms, dads and their children).
How else, besides prayers, can you remember your deceased relatives?
In addition to magpies, memorial services, and home prayers for the departed, another means of commemorating them is almsgiving. Alms should be understood not only as giving to the poor in memory of the deceased, but also more broadly - any good deed, good deed. Saint John Chrysostom taught: “Luxurious burial is not love for the deceased, but vanity. If you want to sympathize with the deceased, I will show you another way of burial... worthy of him and glorifying him: this is alms.”
The saints testify: good deeds done in memory of our relatives also make their posthumous fate easier. If, for example, a loved one died from alcoholism, help the patient, tormented by this destructive passion, do everything so that he does not repeat the path of your loved one. If you couldn’t save someone close to you, save someone far away, and your act, done in memory of the deceased, will ease his posthumous torment.
Role of parents
Parents are not only people who give birth to a new person. Their role is more significant and deeper - to raise a person, providing him with the necessary skills for adaptation in society, cultivating in him important human qualities: decency, responsibility, hard work, kindness, respectful attitude towards others. But even if the role of parents is limited only to the birth of a descendant, their importance cannot be overestimated.
There are special requirements for parents. They must create a strong family in which love, fidelity, trust, respect and mutual understanding reign. It is their duty to provide their children with an atmosphere of psychological peace, proper conditions for growth and harmonious development, and to educate them on the basis of personal example. Many families experience various kinds of difficulties. To solve emerging problems, there are state and non-state organizations. They do everything possible to help parents perform their vital functions.
In raising children, parents and family relationships play the first role; it is not for nothing that in Russia, on May 15 and July 8, holidays of similar significance are celebrated, dedicated to family ties.
So why do Orthodox Christians rejoice on Radonitsa?
Easter, the Bright Resurrection of Christ, is such an important holiday that it lasts not one day, but forty (from May 2 to June 9), until the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord (June 10). On the day of Radonitsa, the celebration of Easter is not yet over, and a separate day, set aside by the Church for the remembrance of the departed, encourages us all not to plunge into sorrowful experiences over the death of loved ones, but, on the contrary, to rejoice at their birth into another life - eternal life. The victory over death won by the Resurrection of Christ displaces the sadness of temporary separation from relatives, and therefore we, in the words of Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh, “with faith, hope and Easter confidence we stand at the tombs of the departed.” Therefore, Radonitsa is often called the Easter of the Dead.
That is, the meaning of Radonitsa is that we not only remember the dead, pray for them, but also share with them the joy of the Resurrection of Christ. It is no coincidence that during the full memorial service, which takes place on this day after the service, Easter hymns are also sung.
Holiday cards
You can send beautiful cards and pictures to your friends and family on Radonitsa, which will remind them of the greatness of the day. Any image you like from the ones presented below can be downloaded to your gadget completely free of charge, and then sent via instant messengers or social networks.
Postcards with poems about Radonitsa:
Holiday cards:
Is it possible to take a bath and heat the bathhouse on a memorial day?
During Radonitsa there are no restrictions on hygiene procedures. All prohibitions come from ancient customs, when there were rituals for calling the deceased into the house. Then a bathhouse was heated in front of Radonitsa, but water procedures were not performed in it - everything was done in order to let in the spirit of a deceased relative. Such rituals, like fortune telling for a betrothed, are not permitted by the Church and are considered witchcraft.
