In the modern world, a person faces various life difficulties: problems with children, marital conflicts, disagreements with parents, friends and colleagues.
Our service was created to provide psychological assistance to people who find themselves in difficult life and family circumstances. The help of a psychologist is necessary at a time when a person needs an interlocutor who is able to listen, show sympathy and give good advice that will help not only “survive” in a difficult situation, but also make responsible and important life decisions.
I would like to emphasize that the social psychological assistance of the Family Good service is not an ordinary family psychological consultation, of which so many have now been created in Moscow, other large cities and throughout Russia. In our work, we combine modern scientific knowledge in psychology with the experience of “mental care” accumulated by the Russian Orthodox Church.
Help from a psychologist
We employ Orthodox specialists with extensive practical experience. With God's help, we have already helped hundreds and thousands of people understand themselves, their lives and family problems. You can read more about our team here .
At the moment our main areas of activity are:
- Conducting individual and family psychological consultations (psychological support, psychological assistance to children, social and psychological assistance);
- Conducting individual and group correctional and psychotherapeutic sessions;
- Organizing and conducting thematic seminars for parents;
- Organizing and conducting seminars for specialists (psychologists, teachers working in the field of social services and the education system).
Is the religious client the most confused?
— Sometimes it is believed that a religious person is more prone to a distorted sense of guilt.
Elizaveta Parkhomenko: This is also true. In the Church, as in life, from everything that exists, a person sees and hears what he wants and can perceive. As in the Gospel passage: if your eye is pure, everything in you will be bright.
For example, a timid girl comes who is afraid to defend her position and is afraid of young people. It's hard for her to live with this. But here in the Church she hears monastic instructions on this matter - just about humility. Due to her attitude, she ignores everything else. And she sighs with relief - now her internal prohibitions have become external laws. She lives the same way as before, only now with the feeling that “everything is right.”
At first, this makes life a lot easier. But time passes, the girl is older, but has not created a family... And doubts begin: how can this be? It seems like he’s doing everything “right,” but there’s no joy!
My clients and I often analyze such situations: what they see in the teachings of the Church, and what they miss and why. And so we get closer to what the Church really says, and where is self-deception as a defense out of fear of living. From my point of view, such work brings us closer to true Christianity.
O. Konstantin: Man is in a certain illusion about himself, the world and God. Does this mean that we should leave him in this illusion? Unfortunately, they often leave it that way and think that it’s normal.
I am sure that a person needs to be taken out of these illusions. Our Christianity must be sober. The Church should not indulge human neuroses; on the contrary, it should fight them. Help free yourself from unnecessary fears, passions, ignorance.
Mother Elizabeth's website
SPIRITUAL-EDUCATIONAL AND SOCIAL-PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP from Orthodox psychologists
In addition to the above, I would like to note that our Service conducts active spiritual, educational and missionary activities, and also provides support to socially vulnerable people living in the Tsaritsyno district. Our specialists consider it necessary to engage in this service, because... family breakdown, adultery, loss of care for raising children and connections between generations are largely due to the fact that modern Russian society has consigned traditional Christian family values to oblivion.
According to the teachings of the Orthodox Church, if there is no faith in Christ in the human soul, conflicts, troubles and discord always begin within and around him. If we do not have Christian love for our neighbors, it means that we will always be charged with resentment, jealousy, envy and anger, which make even the people closest to us enemies. Thus, spiritual education on the meaning of human life, family, marriage, birth and raising children gives us a chance to correct our mistakes in time and make our interpersonal relationships more harmonious.
In order to help people maintain family integrity, in 2008 we developed an innovative program “Spiritual Health of the Family and Personality”, which received the support of the Patriarchate of the Russian Orthodox Church, the Public Council of the Central Federal District, the Department of Social Protection of the Population of Moscow, the Prefect of the Southern Administrative District of Moscow, Department of Social Protection of the Population of the Southern Administrative District of Moscow, the government and municipality of the Tsaritsyno district. This program provides for several areas of activity. For detailed information about this, see the About the company and Projects sections.
We ask you to take into account the fact that the Family Good Psychological Service is a non-profit organization, therefore we exist on donations from visitors. Unfortunately, at this time we do not have a stable source of funding, so we will be very grateful to those who see our activities as a useful endeavor and wish to financially support the work of our organization. Your support will help us open new areas of work, increase the staff of qualified specialists and provide assistance to socially vulnerable people, many of whom are now in great trouble.
We invite you to attend our seminars and consultations!
Our specialists will provide you with the necessary psychological assistance, which will strengthen your mental strength and help you find the right solution to difficult family problems. Sincerely, Director of the ANO “Family Benefit”, Candidate of Psychological Sciences Moshkova Irina Nikolaevna
Voice of Reason
The polemic “Christian psychology: pros and cons” on the website of Orthodox psychologists is interesting. The defenders are doctors of psychology, professors Boris Bratus and Viktor Slobodchikov and a graduate of the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University, priest Andrei Lorgus, opponents are doctors of psychology, professors Artur Petrovsky and Mikhail Kondratyev.
Opponents perfectly demonstrate the far-fetchedness and inconsistency of the defense arguments, trying to convey the obvious: psychology (science) and religion (whose basis is faith) are in different, non-overlapping planes.
Another thing is strange: those who defend the non-existent Orthodox psychology either seem to have no idea about psychology as a science (it turns out that it is Orthodox psychology that deals with man, personality, soul - and non-Orthodox psychology with what? Industrial and food products?), or disingenuous and distorting.
Or – contrary to everything we have already learned about the “methods” of Orthodox psychology.
Andrey Lorgus answers.
Question: Tell me, can a Christian psychologist only help an Orthodox believer?
Answer: No, to any person. If a psychologist puts a confessional barrier in front of his client, then such a psychologist has no place in psychology at all. A Christian psychologist should help everyone, regardless of a person’s nationality or religion [6].
But... how can this be? A direct contradiction to the holy fathers! Here's what they say about treating "anyone":
“The Scriptures call heretics, as blasphemers and enemies of God, not men, but dogs, wolves, pigs and antichrists” [7].
“Truly, the chastity of heretics is worse than any debauchery... How can she be a virgin who has apostatized from the faith, listens to seducers, trusts demons, and worships lies? How can someone whose conscience is burned be a virgin? A virgin must be pure not only in body, but also in soul, if she wishes to accept the holy Bridegroom; and how can she (the heretical virgin) be pure, having so many spots?” [8].
Next question: Could difficulties arise here when a person with different religious views turns to a Christian psychologist? After all, a situation is possible when a non-Christian has no one else to turn to, when there are no Muslim, Buddhist, or ordinary psychologists nearby.
Answer: The fact is that a psychologist never tells a client about his beliefs. This is simply not psychological behavior. It happens that a client talks about some religious problems, but most often in this case the psychologist refers the person to a priest. For example, I work with several psychologists who sometimes recommend that their patients come to me to try to solve religious problems. That is, the psychologist himself does not undertake this. This is the professional position of a psychologist [6].
But what about the Orthodox psychologists Semenik and Ermakova, who send everyone who turns to them to an Orthodox church?..
And what kind of readings are there from the Holy Fathers if Orthodox “psychologists,” apparently, have not even mastered the Sermon on the Mount? In the time of Christ, there were also quite a few citizens who skillfully used religion to attract clientele. This is what He says about them: “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, who love to pray standing in the synagogues and on street corners, so that they may appear before people. Truly I tell you that they are already receiving their reward. But you, when you pray, go into your room and, having shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father, who sees in secret, will reward you openly” [9].
And for some reason Jesus drove the merchants out of the temple. I would expel them now - it doesn’t matter what they sell. At least with your books and trainings...
Help me deal with other people
– So when and with what to go to a psychologist?
– Today, people turn to psychologists when problems accumulate, growing like a snowball. When people feel stuck. When relationships don’t work out over and over again and in your fourth decade a person suddenly realizes: “Or maybe something needs to be corrected in myself? Maybe it’s not “men are assholes”, but I’m building relationships incorrectly?” They contact us when a serious family crisis is brewing and people have a feeling of dissonance: “That’s it, I don’t want to live like this, but what should I do then?”
And even if a person has the resource to cope with the problem himself, it is emotionally easier to share the problem with someone. That's why they go to a psychologist.
It is no secret that psychologists themselves go to psychologists with their problems. But not because they don’t know how to deal with everything. “Your own psychologist” doesn’t look as scary as “your own surgeon,” but so far only Munchausen has managed to pull himself out of the swamp by his hair.
By solving your psychological problems on your own, you can cause yourself no less harm than by trying to perform a surgical operation on yourself.
I’m sure you can find detailed instructions on the Internet on how to remove your appendix, but in the history of medicine there is only one case recorded when a person successfully removed it himself. True, he was a surgeon and found himself in extreme conditions when there was nowhere to wait for help.
Alas, people often look for psychologists who will tell them exactly what they want to hear. The request “help me deal with other people” is the most common. “The children don’t listen, the husband spreads rot, the wife is insolent,” says every second client. When I answer that these harmful people are not here and we can only figure it out with you, what can you change about yourself? – sometimes the reaction can be very violent: “How dare you, I don’t need to change anything, everything is fine with me. Stupid psychologists don’t understand what it really is...”
By fasting and prayer
This is exactly what happened with Valentina (name changed at the request of the heroine). She began hearing voices six years ago. They told Valentina that she needed to do something or go somewhere. “One day a voice said: “Go to the next house and meet me there in an hour.” It sounded as if it was not in my head, but from the outside,” says Valentina. “I went where he ordered.” She doesn’t remember what happened next; All we know is that the residents of the neighboring house called the police, and then Valentina ended up in a psychiatric hospital. She was diagnosed with schizophrenia.
“This is difficult to accept. Psychiatrists prescribed pills, but when I returned home, I stopped taking them and soon ended up in the hospital again,” recalls Valentina. “Even then I didn’t come to terms with the diagnosis.” Three years ago, from the city where I rented an apartment, I returned to my native village and went to church - to the priest.”
During confession, Valentina asked the priest for advice, but he replied that she did not have schizophrenia - it was the demons mocking her. He advised me to read “Our Father” and “Rejoice to the Virgin Mary,” observe fasts, regularly confess and receive communion. “I obeyed,” says Valentina. “I was so scared that I was ready to follow any advice.” Just then, after hospital treatment, she began to feel better. She believed that fasting and prayer helped. She didn't take the pills. “Father said that the people in a “vegetable” state, whom I had previously seen in the hospital, became like this because of the medications,” says Valentina. “And that my hospital is in the church.”
For about a year, Valentina read daily prayers, went to services, received communion and confessed. “My daughter was six years old and I took her to Sunday school. I constantly communicated with the mothers who taught there,” says Valentina. “They said that both my daughter and I definitely needed to fast. I called them or the priest with all my questions.” In the village where Valentina lives, there is only one church, and there is nothing to compare it with. It seemed to her that it was normal for the head of the parish and the mothers to tell parishioners how to live. “Now it seems to me that it was strange,” Valentina admits. “The priest in this church is very domineering, he ordered all the parishioners to throw away their trousers and even wear skirts in winter.”
Without the pills, Valentina started hallucinating again. When a neighbor died, whom she considered an evil and unpleasant person, it seemed to her that “demons had gathered around his house and were seeing him off.” She did not see them, but “as if she felt them.” In 2021, shortly before Lent (at the end of winter), she finally turned to a psychiatrist. “She asked how I live, what I do,” says Valentina. “She listened to my stories about demons and said that I was in an unstable condition and should go to the hospital.” Valentina decided to consult with her father. He suggested waiting for unction - a church sacrament that is performed to heal illnesses - and then decide based on how you feel. Valentina never went to the hospital.
Soon the relationship with the priest began to deteriorate. Valentina’s daughter wanted to take dance classes instead of Sunday school, and the head of the parish shouted that it was a sin. Valentina was worried, she was getting worse. In the end, she again went to the psychiatrist - and, despite the protest of the priest, she still went to the hospital in the administrative center for two and a half months.
]]>]]>
“This is where my story with “church” treatment ends,” says Valentina. “Now I go to a psychiatrist and constantly monitor my condition, and I can look at the story that happened to me with a sober look. I’m still a believer, but I don’t want to go to our rural church anymore.” Valentina's daughter stopped going to Sunday school - she is studying pop vocals.
As religious scholar and teacher at the Center for the Study of Religions of the Russian State University for the Humanities Konstantin Mikhailov says, such stories are not uncommon. People in crisis situations often fall under the influence of such “mentors”: they do not have enough of their own psychological resources to make important decisions. Formally, the Russian Orthodox Church itself does not approve of such abuses; there is even a special concept of “young age”. As Archpriest Vadim Leonov, a teacher at Sretensky Theological Seminary, explains, young age arises from conceit: it is a growing pain of a priest who “is trying to act as a spiritual mentor, without possessing the appropriate gifts and abilities.” Priest Dimitry Dmitriev in the material Pravmir.ru calls young age the main temptation of a young priest: “The word of a priest is especially weighty: it seems like you’re just talking, but you can ruin a person’s life.”
However, as Mikhailov says, in practice they often turn a blind eye to such authoritarian mentoring. According to him, it is quite common for the Orthodox community to have a critical attitude towards psychiatry, supported by stories about demons and even their “reprimands” - that is, exorcism. “The low level of natural science education often leads clergy to reject modern medical and, more broadly, scientific concepts. - explains Mikhailov. — Let’s remember the cases of clergy supporting HIV dissidence, the theory of telegony, or the anti-vaccination agenda. Therefore, if a priest advises you to see a psychologist, that’s one thing. But if it’s an “Orthodox psychologist” or a lecture, that’s completely different.”
