Every person strives to choose a business to his liking, only then will it bring pleasure and benefit to other people. So Archpriest Igor Fomin followed his own path, for which he once received a blessing. People come to the Temple to get rid of sorrows and remove heaviness from their souls, and then it is Father Igor who consoles the suffering and supports them.
The mission of a priest is very important, because his task is to open the direction to a world where a person will be happy. He tells parishioners about God, but everyone must build a relationship with God themselves. Over the years of his biography, Fomin has always been active in preaching and often took part in radio and television programs, in which he talked a lot about Orthodoxy and answered various questions that interested people.
Who is an archpriest?
This is how the senior priest is usually called in the Russian Orthodox Church. This rank is given to a person for long exemplary service. Only a person who received holy orders at least ten years ago can be an archpriest. This title can also be awarded to someone who has been awarded the right to wear a special cross, one of the church awards.
There are also cases where a protodeacon was appointed archpriest. In pre-revolutionary Russia, this rank was called a little differently - archpriest. The history of the church knows many personalities who influenced the life of the country, who were ordained as senior priests. The most famous of them is Archpriest Avvakum. Currently, the sermons of the archpriest from the Republic of Tatarstan, Father Vladimir Golovin, are widely popular.
Temple rector
The Moscow Institute of International Relations has its own Orthodox cathedral.
Archpriest Igor Fomin, the rector of this church, is active in preaching activities. He is familiar to many Orthodox people from his participation in radio and television programs devoted to issues of the spiritual life of Christians.
Regarding the rather unusual place of his service, the priest says that he never thinks about what social position the people who come to the temple occupy. And sometimes he doesn’t even know whether the person confessing his sins to him is a diplomat or politician or not. For him, all believers are equal.
Youth coming to church
Audio |
— Today our guest is Archpriest Igor Fomin, rector of the church under construction at MGIMO. Hello, father! As per tradition, please bless our viewers.
- The grace of God is upon you with grace and love for mankind, always now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
— Today the topic of the program is “The Coming of Young People to Church.” You can call and ask all your questions. How do young people come to church?
- Naturally, he comes in God’s ways, known only to Him. Whether a young or a mature person, the Lord, who knocks on every heart, will bring him. And to open or not to open to Him is the business of each person. Young people have the peculiarity that they are very categorical, do not look for crooked paths, do not like cronyism and do not like wrong manifestations. And through the search for truth, young people come to the temple.
— Is it possible that young people come through difficulties in life?
- Through difficulties - this is rare. This is more common in mature people, for those over 25-30 years old. And the main thing for young people is to feed their hunger, to find the truth.
— If a seeking person comes to church, can some manifestations push him away?
- Of course they can. And manifestations in a “near-church” environment are more likely to repel than in a church environment. This may be inattention on the part of clergy and service personnel. This happens often, but every time it happens less and less often. These may be other manifestations. The evil one does not sleep either. He looks for a thirsty soul and tries to trip her up. A truly seeking person is not embarrassed by anything; he achieves his goal.
— Could there be shortcomings in the church itself that could confuse a young man?
— A priori, there can be no shortcomings in the church. This is an institution established by God, everything here happens according to the will of God. There may be shortcomings in the idea of the church. When a young man tries to remake the temple to suit his concepts and aspirations. In the church, everything is balanced, competent, everything is done with love and accuracy.
— What do young people find in church, what qualities do they acquire?
— The quest of people, whether they are young or not, is always the search for happiness. Happiness is a quality incomprehensible to us, which every soul that comes from God dreams of. Any person seeks happiness for himself, for acquaintances, for relatives, for close friends, and the like. A person comes to the temple for happiness. For adults, this is consolation, an understanding of the meaning of life. For young people it’s the same thing plus truth-seeking. And he finds a “field of activity.” Because happiness is not something that we found, saw and sat down in peace and “eat, drink, be merry, many granaries have been built.” Happiness is meaningful work not only for one’s own good, but also for the good of one’s neighbor and for the good of God.
— Once I was talking in a monastery with a boy and his mother, who was raising the boy alone. He asked me the following question: “Why was I even born? I wouldn't want to be born. After all, they didn’t ask me. Mom is not entirely happy. Life didn’t work out very well for us.” How can we, Orthodox Christians, answer such questions?
- Children tend to be in the middle. If you want to recognize and understand something, then immediately the specific essence. “I wouldn’t want to be born. Why was I even born? You didn’t ask my permission.” This is a common statement of people already in their youthful state of 22-23 years old. Usually they lie on the sofa and thus manipulate their relatives.
What to answer this boy? Perhaps we should tell the truth. The truth that is revealed to us in the Holy Scriptures. That the Lord creates man for rejoicing. That is, we are called to learn to enjoy this life. Joy is not a brick that fell from the sky on your head, and you immediately became cheerful and happy. This is more related to medicine. And rejoicing in God means seeing the meaning in everything, God’s providence, seeing joy in work, seeing that your parents are not only unhappy. They, tired, may come home and cry. Although this is strictly not recommended. The parent must be “saint” in perception. Therefore, to the questions “Why did you even give birth to me? You must answer “So that you learn to rejoice.” And this is a lot of work. This is the answer in a nutshell.
And if the answer is not in a few words, then you need to take the book “The Path to Salvation”, the Holy Scriptures, and read the Holy Fathers. You will learn why we were created, why there are difficulties in our lives, why there are joys in our lives, how to react to sorrows and how to rejoice and have fun in this life, so that in the evening, and in the morning, and always you will be that person, with whom others really want to communicate.
— You said that happiness and truth can be found in the church. Is happiness and truth possible outside the church?
— Outside the church there is the same world created by God as inside the church. I mean, created by God. The rain falls on both the righteous and the sinners. And some echoes of happiness and truth can be found in every corner of the globe, wherever we are: in the Cathedral of the Cathedral of Christ the Savior and in the Tumbo-Yumbo tribe. The tribe also has its own moral and moral laws, laws of conscience, by which this tribe will be judged. But there is little happiness in the outside world. These are just grains. And this is temporary happiness. Truth resides within the church.
— You said that the Tumba-Yumba tribe has its own moral and ethical laws, laws of conscience. Is it not enough to live according to the laws of conscience?
- You know, no. The moral law is a good law, the Savior Himself speaks about it. But not only observance of the commandments must be added to the moral law, but there must also be love for God, love for one’s neighbor. And then the moral law becomes a living law. If love for your neighbor lives in your law, then this law is not perfect. Look at the commandments. The Old Testament commandments are prohibitive commandments. And the New Testament commandments are motivating commandments, with promises that set us in a certain way. If in the Old Testament commandments it is necessary to strictly observe “not”, then the New Testament commandments speak of love.
— Is it impossible to show love for God outside the church?
- I think no. If you are a church person, then you will definitely be in church. This means belonging to a society of people who believe in God. And outside the church, how can you serve God if you don’t know him?
—What is the difference between church-going youth and unchurched youth?
— Churched youth are distinguished by their knowledge of God, and their competent knowledge of God. There are young people who are in the bosom of the church, but are not churched. There are young people who have been baptized, but have not yet known the Lord Jesus Christ. They do not fully know their Heavenly Father. And church-going youth fully lives and serves Christ and breathes in the Spirit and Truth. This is what the Lord is talking about.
—What qualities distinguish churched youth from unchurched youth?
- I think that it is precisely the divine qualities - immutability. They, of course, grow old in appearance, improve morally and spiritually, but always remain young in heart and soul. Their joy is always unceasing. I know a priest who is 87 years old. He feels like a young man, he serves God and people with joy in his heart, and constantly shares his joy.
- Are there really no people who, having these qualities, are not churchgoers?
“For a churchgoer, this quality is internal and eternal. It is like fertile soil into which a grain has fallen. And a big, big tree grew. But still, for an external person this is a temporary state, a transitory state. Today he can use the mentioned qualities, but tomorrow he cannot use them. For a churchgoer, this is unacceptable. He lives in God, or lives in love, and is a church-going person. Or he is not only unchurched, but he is not a believer.
— I liked how you said “outer man.” Apparently, a churchgoer has deeper roots of these qualities? They have a solid base.
— For a churchgoer, there is almost no difference between the inner “I” and the outer “I.” But for an external person there may be a big difference and distance between the inner “I” and the outer “I”.
- Tell me, please, what is the soul and what is the spirit?
— Man is three-part, he consists of spirit, soul and body. The body is a substance that we touch, it is understandable to us, we study it in biology lessons at school. The human soul appears in the womb, even when the maternal and paternal cells are united. The soul is a ray that has a beginning but no end. The soul is eternal. It is the state that enters the heavenly state that is eternal. But we may not enter the heavenly state. Let's hope for the former. Moreover, only humans have a soul. Animals don't have souls, unfortunately.
And the life-giving spirit is the breath of God. That which comes from the Lord and quickens a person, and that will return to God. We live and move with the help of the life-giving spirit, as it is called.
— A young man is looking for faith, he comes to the temple and asks: why did the Son of God need to become human in order to save people?
“The Lord comes into the world to raise humanity to the level that was conceived by God back in Eden, to raise humanity to the heavenly level. The Lord created the entire visible and invisible world. And in the visible world man becomes higher than the angels. He is planted in paradise, he works to achieve the state of deification, in order to enter into the joy of God. “Become like the Gods” and enter into joy with God.
But the Fall and free will led man to the point where he falls downward in his sinfulness. And in order to raise a person to a new level of moral state and spiritual state, the Lord Himself descends from heaven and incarnates in this life in the same body as ours. Moreover, He eats, and drinks, and wears clothes, and expresses emotions, and sighs with regret. He is just like us, except for sin. The Savior gives his life so that everyone who looks at Him has hope and faith, and can enter the Kingdom of Heaven.
Identifying oneself with Christ in this life gives a person the opportunity and hope to enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The Lord came down to earth to raise man to heaven.
— Young people react sharply to any coercion, as a rule, they are harsh in their views, stubbornly defend their positions and views, and behave in a rebellious manner. Is rebellion compatible with the church?
- If your child has a rebellious spirit, this does not mean that he ceases to be your child. A child necessarily goes through all the stages of rebellion. In his life, he always checks his parent to see how he will react to his antics. And if the parent passes this test of strength, then the human child returns to the parental home.
When a person's personality rebels, when he rebels in the church, it is acceptable. But if he begins to seduce a certain group, and leads the created group away from the truth, then there will be a tragedy for the rebel. A person must decide who he is, how he is, where he is, with his pride and thoughts, or he comes into the fold of the church. Sometimes a person comes to a temple and tries to change himself according to the rules of the temple. This is a positive example. But sometimes a person comes to the temple and speaks as V.S. sang. Vysotsky, “... and in the church everything is wrong, everything is not as it should be”... “Let me change everything here. I will now teach your two-thousand-year tradition, now I will show God how to manage people, how to lead them to salvation.” And then, when this doesn’t work out, he says: “Sorry,” and throws up his hands. He does not reach the Optina Pustyn, like one character in the story (Leo Tolstoy), and does not have time to repent of his atrocities.
Personal rebellion is compatible, public rebellion is not.
— Regular viewer from the Belgorod region, Evgeniy. Most young people are maximalists by nature. And the Apostle James has these words: “My brothers, have faith in Jesus Christ, regardless of personalities.” But this is exactly what flourishes in churches. Especially looking at the face of someone with a higher position. This is purely people-pleasing. That’s why young people don’t strive to go to church.
— Evgeniy, I would not say that young people do not strive. Still, young people strive. And these parishes have many youth programs. These are sporting events, camps, trips to orphanages. That is, everyone can find a use for themselves. Also a prayerful state. Each of us has gone on pilgrimages to monasteries in Russia and abroad, and can testify that there are a lot of young people among the monastics. Many young people are engaged in preaching Christ.
As for pharisaism and hypocrisy, well, whoever pays attention to this sees it all around. And when you teach others respect and honor, you yourself must first of all be respectful of other people and honor them. Therefore, there is no difference: who is standing in front of you.
If you look at who is standing in front of me: be it a bishop or a parishioner, both are the image and likeness of God. For both, the Lord shed his blood for both, so we are no longer “our own, but Christ’s.”
—Are there elders in monasteries who scold young people and children?
- Probably there is. It is unlikely that anyone distinguishes between a lecture for adults and a lecture for a young person. In the Moscow region, for example, there was Father Nektary. I can’t speak for all of Russia. I remember the old man who scolded me. And the strength of his reprimand was such that during the prayer service demons came out of the man. The elder said the following: if a person is properly churched, then he does not need to be told off. Here we are talking about man’s correct understanding of God and the Lord Jesus Christ. Another thing is that there are mental illnesses. We have to look at this carefully.
—What does competent churching mean?
- When this does not happen formally, but together with that person who himself recognized and came to know Christ. As Metropolitan Anthony of Sourozh says, when that divine trace through which the Lord calls everyone was reflected on his face.
—What difficulties might there be on the path to becoming a church member? Can a person make a mistake? Could there be pitfalls?
— There may be stones. And I want to talk about one of the stones. My friends, if during churching you notice that you are beginning to become attached to the person, priest or catechist who is leading you to Christ, be careful. This is a dangerous path. This is not the path of bringing to Christ, but the path of bringing to man. With any churching, in any place, there must be a result: knowledge of Christ, vision of Christ, love for Christ. But in no case is it the deification of a person. You cannot look at them with reverence, aspiration and admiration. Be careful and attentive.
— Is pilgrimage to holy places useful for strengthening faith?
- Yes. Very useful, very important and necessary. On a pilgrimage, we are imbued with the experience of the spiritual life that some ascetic brought a person to Christ. We definitely compare the pilgrimage to the Trinity-Sergius Lavra with St. Sergius of Radonezh. We go to another place to touch the experience of someone else's spiritual life. To accept this experience to a small extent. Place in your heart those pearls of spiritual experience that you will see in this holy place.
— Today the word “maximalism” was used. What is the maximalism of Christianity? What is the heroism of Christianity?
— For Christianity, we must separate maximalism and heroism. The maximalism of Christianity manifests itself in holiness. Holiness is integrity. Every Christian should abide in this holiness. When young people come to church, seek long services, or seek exhausting work in hospices and orphanages, this is maximalism.
And the heroism of Christianity consists in deifying one’s fallen nature. I think this is the greatest feat. Change yourself so that your image and likeness coincide with God.
— My son is 20 years old, he makes rap music. The son composes songs in which he talks about the vices and sins of those around him. I don’t agree with him, because we have to fight vices and sins within ourselves. And he replies that if you don’t talk about it, people won’t think about it and won’t begin to change. He talks about human depravity from a negative point of view. Which one of us is right?
“It seems to me that your son is trying to speak to them in a language that young people can understand.” I had the opportunity to attend the festival of talented children from orphanages “Future of Russia”. There, one girl performed a rap against Americanisms in Russian. This is probably clear to an audience that does not belong to the church. Worldly society elevates vice to the stage of the norm.
Where can you not talk about vice? In kindergarten! You can't talk about vice in a primary school. There children's souls have not yet deteriorated. You can't talk about vice in the family. But you need to talk to people who have not yet tasted the bitterness of vice so that they at least hear, see and understand. Probably, your son’s opinion will be the tub of cold water that will sober up these young people. Or maybe it will be a seed that will someday sprout. But there is a danger here for your son. As if all this didn't suck him in.
If this struggle with sin sucks him in, it will be bad. From the history of the church, we know that the greatest heresiarchs were at first missionaries, preachers of certain views. But they went too far in the opposite direction of society to show how bad it is. Rooted in these opposite sides of society, they themselves became distant from the church.
Life in the church cannot be replaced by such missionary preaching.
— Young people often strive to live with their own minds, have their own views, and do not trust other people’s opinions. Are faith and a critical view of things compatible?
- Of course, they are compatible. Faith and a critical view of things are compatible. Perseverance and stubbornness are incompatible, and incompatible only from the point of view of the benefit of this person. If the gates of hell do not overcome the church, then the stubbornness of people will not crush the church. But people can seriously harm themselves. This stubbornness will cause them irreparable sin. We understand that pride is the condition through which our first parents fell. In general, we too are now becoming more and more vulnerable through pride. In the church, manifestations of pride and stubbornness are unacceptable. But asking questions in church is encouraged. Everything that is honest and unhypocritical is welcomed in the church.
— Young people often perceive the church as a source of some kind of prohibitions and lack of freedom. What is freedom?
— Freedom in the church concept is freedom from sin. Sin enslaves the soul of a person, he becomes dependent. To the visible mark of freedom of a young person “to live as I want,” the church responds “to live as I should.” “Living the way you should” liberates a person.
Let's take a vice, for example, lying. After all, a person is free to say whatever he wants. The Church says: “If you want to be free, you must walk within certain limits.” Lies greatly enslave a person; a person begins to get entangled in lies. A person surrounds himself with a web of lies. He must remember what he said to one person, the second, the third, the fourth. He starts lying to himself. And he becomes addicted to it. He begins to tense up at what he said. If a person tells the truth, and we have an obligation to tell the truth (this is the obligation that makes a person free), then he frees up so much time for the truth that he can direct it to creative work.
Any church restrictions lead a person to freedom, to independence from lies. It seems to me that church freedom is the real freedom of the future of humanity.
— How can I answer the young man’s question, “Why did God need to create humanity at all, if he first foresaw the fall of Adam and Eve, foresaw that the Savior would have to atone for the sins of mankind, foresaw that we are now heading towards the end of the world?”
- Let's start from the end. We are used to thinking that the end of the world is something terrible, that we need to delay the coming of the Antichrist, and the like. The end of the world is a union with Christ. Everyone will have their own personal death. Your own personal end of the world. So you shouldn't be afraid of this. We must be afraid of being unprepared for the end of the world, of not being a friend of Christ.
Why did God create man? Imagine, you want to rejoice, but you cannot rejoice alone, because the joy will be imperfect. You will think that there are people somewhere outside the home, and how you can share your joy with them. For joy to be complete, you must share it with your equals. Is it possible to have fun with cats or dogs? You can just have fun with them. They cannot show you a state that is adequate to your state, emotions similar to your emotions.
God creates man in His own image and likeness so that, having become deified, he can work in paradise and rejoice with God. We create for joy. But we can only rejoice freely! Joy can be experienced by a person who has been freed from sin, or, if we take the heavenly state, if a person has worked and achieved deification. With such a person we can rejoice.
It's not that difficult actually. Begin to rejoice with those like you, and you will come to the joy of the Lord. Start pleasing those around you, and the joy of the Divine will touch your heart. People die not from old age, not from diseases, they die when they are ready. The Lord calls at the right moment every person, the homeless, the old man, and the righteous old man. The moment when a person's heart is ready and when he can enter heaven.
- And if a person dies suddenly, due to a sudden incident, is the person’s heart ready and he can enter heaven?
- If a person dies suddenly, he dies suddenly for us, and not for God. We must trust God at any time, in any manifestation of Him in our world.
—Can a reprimand help a young man to fight passions and strengthen his faith in Christ?
- Yes maybe. But there is a small condition - this is the condition of faith and that is if the young man is of sound mind and full memory. A reprimand can help a person who trusts in this reprimand, a person who is going to church.
“Can a young man get rid of his vices through the prayers of the people around him?”
- Maybe. And there are many such cases. But this path for the people around us is very difficult and thorny.
— In your opinion, what are the most important problems among young people, and how can the church help solve them?
— Among young people, probably the biggest problem is the media space. In it, adult uncles and aunts put the fragile soul of youth in the spotlight. After all, a young man, encountering the mass media, finds himself in a formed world of passions and good deeds, a world of vice and righteousness. Having no immunity to what is good and what is evil, he begins to absorb everything into himself and then figure it out. Sometimes, when he sorts things out, he mixes the good grain with the chaff, or throws out the good grain along with the chaff. This state is scary.
The media space is the biggest problem in the modern world, which is heavily polluted by adults.
— What can people do and what can the church do to correct this situation?
- Adults can change themselves. What can and is the church do? She does: she speaks, calls, shows, she tells how a person can change. She gives examples of human change using church examples of social programs, righteous people, internal social structures!
An example of internal social structures. Russian society has grown cold in family ties, and the church was the first to preach that the family is a small church, that the family is a small state, that the family consists of state power. Then all other public institutions caught on. And so with the problems of alcoholism, drug addiction, etc.
— I think that misunderstanding between young people and the church arises from the fact that many things in the church are perceived as boring, far from their own lives. Many things require revitalization and clarification. For example, worship services.
— Man was created for development, for internal creation, for the accumulation of certain knowledge, for a certain experience. If a person stops, he begins to fall. And then there is a push away from the church.
Whoever felt the beauty of prayer, who saw it, felt it, will never want to exchange it for anything else. It happens that a person changes a prayerful state to some other euphoric state. He tries to create such a state with mechanical things (alcohol, drugs). The evil one cannot come up with anything new. He is trying to substitute: “you want a creative state, here are drugs and alcohol, and you will be omnipotent.” But it all ends very badly.
— In conclusion, Father, I ask you to bless our viewers.
— Dear brothers and sisters, I wish you that the Lord will be present in every moment of your life! As the psalmist David says, let us “seek the face of God”! And so that we find this face of God in any manifestation of what happens to us. So that we know that this is from God, and that our reaction is very important to God.
All the best! See you again live.
Presenter: Denis Beresnev.
Transcript: Oleg Sirotin
Work and publications of Archpriest Igor Fomin
As already mentioned, the priest is a fairly frequent guest on the air of Christian media. During these programs, he answers questions from listeners and viewers, and also discusses the most important topics with the presenters.
So, during the “Bright Evening” program broadcast on Radio Vera, the priest participated in a conversation about the so-called beatitudes that Jesus Christ gave to his disciples during the Sermon on the Mount. Father said that according to the unanimous opinion of Orthodox theologians, this passage from the Gospel is its most important part. These rules, given to people by the Savior, represent the foundations of Christian doctrine.
They, unlike the commandments given by the prophet Moses, require a higher level of spiritual development from a person. Archpriest Igor Fomin reminded listeners about an episode from the Gospel when a certain young man approached Christ and asked how he could gain the kingdom of heaven. To this the Savior told him that he must keep the commandments. The young man replied that he had been doing this since his infancy. Then the Son of God told him about other rules - the Beatitudes.
The Trap of Intimate Relationships
Today there is a lot of talk about the importance of intimate relationships in marriage. Books, articles, television and radio programs are devoted to this topic. Physiological incompatibility between spouses increasingly leads to family breakdown and divorce. And modern public opinion, as a rule, does not see anything reprehensible in this: what to do - they didn’t suit each other, which means we need to look for new “partners”. But here lies a dangerous trap, into which Yuri, the author of the letter to the editor of Foma, also fell. Hello, dear editors!
I would like to share my difficult, even sensitive problem. I just don't know what to do. Maybe your priest consultants can advise me on something?
Nastya and I got married 11 years ago, very young and full of hope - we had both just graduated from school. We were both believers, and besides, she is the daughter of a priest. We were blessed for marriage by a famous archimandrite, whom many revered as an elder.
Before the wedding, we, as expected, remained celibate. But after the wedding, Nastya very soon lost interest in me. And after the birth of her second child, it turned out that she was generally indifferent to intimate relationships. Nastya avoided them in every possible way, and then generally removed me from participating in family affairs. We became like strangers. They quarreled more and more often. I started coming home drunk, and this further complicated our relationship. Once I even beat my wife when I came home drunk again.
It all ended with Nastya getting ready, taking the children and leaving for another city to live with her parents. Now I see the children once a month, we practically don’t communicate with Nastya. I understand that I was also wrong, I am aware of my responsibility for the children, and I help them financially. But they live far away and are not going to change anything. This has been going on for a whole year. The matter is further aggravated by the fact that Nastya was raised in a very strict, almost monastic spirit before her marriage. Her father actually wanted her to go to a monastery, and gave his blessing for our marriage only with difficulty. Maybe this is where her attitude towards family life comes from. Why did she then agree to become my wife?..
Of course, I would like to have a normal family, wife and children. But I’ll be honest, now I’m afraid to get married right away. At first Nastya and I were friends, then we fell in love with each other, but we really had no idea how our marriage would turn out, we didn’t know that we were not at all suitable for each other as husband and wife. Why was it necessary to maintain chastity? Did this help us? More likely it got in the way. It’s better to find a woman, live with her for a while, take a closer look at each other, including in intimate relationships, and only then get married, so as not to make a mistake a second time.
Yes, I am a believer, I go to church. But now it’s like he’s split into two. I understand that living with a woman before marriage is a sin. But real life proves the opposite. And then the Church does not give me a divorce, because there has been no infidelity yet, and it is one of the conditions. Although marriage as such no longer exists. I heard that Nastya fell into depression. But she still doesn’t come back to me! So what should I do now?
Yuri The letter is answered by priest Igor FOMIN, cleric of the Church of the Kazan Icon of the Mother of God on Red Square
Dear Yuri, I would not like to give you specific advice, and this is impossible: from your letter alone it is impossible to get a complete picture of the situation in your family. Here you need to personally communicate with both spouses. But I’m ready to talk about the problems and mistakes that occur in many modern families.
The first thing that catches your eye in your letter is that you complain about chastity maintained before marriage, which, as you believe, did not help or even prevented you from creating a happy family. This is a very common mistake: we are trying to build some kind of market relationship with God, and we live correctly and purely not because we love God, but because we hope to receive some benefits for it - well-being in family life, children’s health, and so on. . In fact, chastity, preserved before marriage, is necessary first of all for ourselves - as a testimony of love for God and fidelity to His commandments. This can strengthen your family, prevent some mistakes in marriage, but not insure against them.
You are asking why your marriage fell apart despite the fact that it was blessed by a famous elder. But a blessing is not an insurance policy. Even if all the saints come to your wedding and bless your married life, but at the same time you yourself behave incorrectly, then only you will be to blame for your problems, and not God and not the saints. And you shouldn’t shift the blame and responsibility for your affairs onto them. Prayer for you is not some kind of shamanic spell, after which, whether you like it or not, you will do as you were conjured. Prayer and blessing give grace, but leave the spouses freedom. And family life is so fragile that all the wisdom and love of the spouses is needed to preserve it. The husband is like a gardener who, in order to care for the flowers and admire their beauty, must walk around the garden very carefully. And if you stomp around the greenhouse like an elephant, you will trample all the flowers.
Those 10 years that you have lived in marriage are a considerable period of time. Many family psychologists today talk about the “10-year-old crisis.” Almost every family experiences it, especially, oddly enough, prosperous ones. But having overcome it, the family rises to a new level. You complain that Nastya was indifferent to her marital responsibilities.
As a priest, I can say that intimate relationships are a very subtle, delicate topic that can only be discussed in private conversation, and not on the pages of a magazine. But everyone, be it husband or wife, is obliged to look for a way to achieve mutual understanding in married life. And the main clue here is your spouse’s reaction to your behavior. If a person loves and is loved, if he is treated with care and sensitivity, he will open up in personal relationships. You lived with Nastya for 10 whole years and the fact that over time she lost interest in married life only means that you were inattentive to her. I consulted with other priests about your letter, they say the same thing. Love is not just walking in the moonlight, the main thing in love is self-sacrifice, not selfishness. Without deeds, love is dead.
You write that Nastya was raised almost like a monastery, and you suggest that this explains her coldness. I would like to stand up for your wife. In fact, monastic education teaches, first of all, obedience to elders, and in the family this is the husband. It allows a person to be more resistant to trials, accept them with humility, and not be selfish and capricious. You see, if Nastya had been brought up with the idea that marital relations were a sin, she would never have gotten married, but would actually have gone to a monastery. But she became your wife and her priest father agreed to this marriage. Can you imagine what it means for a believing woman, for the daughter of a priest, to leave her husband?
You, at least subconsciously, are confident that you are right; this comes through between the lines of your letter: “Well, just think, I started drinking, you never know! Well, he beat me once... But it’s her own fault!” But in fact, this “one time” is already enough for the woman to turn around and leave. Marriage is the union of two people into one. If you hit your wife, it's the same as if you hit your head against a wall or knock off your own arm or leg. After all, you wouldn’t mock yourself like that, so why do you do it to your other half? Arguments like “I did it myself” sound simply childish...God does not give tests beyond your strength. If you raise your hand against your wife, it will not lead to anything good in any case; gangrene may begin in the family, as in the human body. And as a result, amputation may be required, which is what happened to you.
You write that Nastya has deprived you of the opportunity to participate in family affairs. What kind of a man is this, what kind of head of a family is this, if a fragile woman, brought up like a monastery, can push him aside? - delete. It is important to support your half even in some minor good deeds. In a family in love, spouses want to get ahead of each other in business, in helping each other, and not happily sit in a corner... You know, there are women who constantly remind their husbands that they need, for example, to fix a shelf in the kitchen, some like this “ sawing” and swearing that it’s just a disaster. And there are others who are silent - they will say once and that’s it. And after some time, if the husband hasn’t done anything, they will take it and fix everything themselves, and even justify the husband, saying he’s tired, busy, and so on and so forth. Maybe your wife is one of them? There are men who are confident in their importance, that they behave correctly with their wives, but after work they sit in front of the TV and don’t really help them in any way, forgetting that their help is needed not only in making money. Maybe you remembered too late that you are the head of the family, and before that you actually gave this role to Nastya? Priests have this tradition: while imposing additional prayer obedience on a person (that is, punishment for a serious sin), say, ten bows a day, they themselves must make twenty in order to make sure from their own experience that they are not forcing the offender to do what he is told to do. I can't do it myself. In theory, the husband should do the same. His requirements for himself should be no less, but more than for his wife, that’s why he is the head of the family. And yet, not only he himself participates in a man’s career growth, but also his wife, who provides his support. Therefore, in everything that you have achieved, there is Nastya’s merit. She as a person is no less important than you, and worthy of your love no less than you yourself.
Of course, in any disagreement, as a rule, both spouses are to blame. But until you, as the head of the family, realize your guilt and fully accept responsibility for the collapse of your marriage, nothing will work out.
You want to live with another woman before marriage, “try” whether she is right for you, and only then start a “normal family”. But does a normal family begin by cohabitation without any obligations? And if one, the other, the third doesn’t work, will you continue to “try” all your life while your wife in another city worries and raises your common children alone? And where is the guarantee that you will not be just as inattentive and selfish in your relationship with another woman, and she will also leave you? So, the only way out is not to cheat on your wife, but to change yourself. Of course, this is very difficult, especially in our world, where a consumerist attitude towards people reigns. It is much easier to drink and take out your frustration on your wife or have an affair - many do this - than to try to save the family, become more attentive to your wife, give her flowers, encourage her, console her when she is feeling bad, and instead of sitting in front of the TV play with the children one more time. But if we begin to point at others and imitate those who are guided by the popular principle “Take everything from life,” then we turn from individuals into a herd. You need to have courage to remain human, to maintain sensitivity, loyalty and the ability to sacrifice yourself for the sake of another.
So you ask, what to do now? I am sure that your marriage needs to be saved. I think all is not lost for you. Judging by the fact that you wrote this letter, your heart is full of warm feelings for Nastya and your conscience does not give you peace. And Nastya, apparently, still loves you, otherwise she would not have fallen into depression, but, on the contrary, would have rejoiced at her release. So try to start all over again! Think seriously again, look over the history of your marriage in your memory, reconsider it from the point of view of your guilt. And not because you are the most to blame, but because this is the most productive approach to family life. And then go to Nastya, have a heart-to-heart talk with her, sincerely ask her and her parents for forgiveness. Convince her with your actions that you have changed and will no longer behave rudely and inattentively, never raise your hand to her or touch her glass. And then, God willing, she and the children will return to you, and everything will work out.
Prepared by Elena MERKULOVA
The material was published in the 9th (32nd) issue of Foma, 2005. https://www.fomacenter.ru/index.php?issue=1§ion=95&article=1499
About family life
Another radio program, hosted by Tutta Larsen, discussed the role of men and women in family life. On this score, Archpriest Igor Fomin spoke about the special purpose of each spouse. Both husband and wife must perform those traditional functions that were assigned to them by the Lord God. But, of course, a man should always act as the head.
Father says that when women ask him questions about what to do in this or that life situation, he first of all asks what opinion their spouse expresses on this matter. When a husband lies on the sofa and does not want to manage family affairs, then he is certainly committing a sin. Father Igor always advises the stronger sex to use the right to have the last word. Even if the decision was made forcedly, it must be taught as if the man came to it on his own. In response to this remark, presenter Tutta Larsen admitted that the longer she lives with her husband, the more she wants to adhere to the rules that were established by the Russian Orthodox Church.
Confession of a priest. Archpriest Igor Fomin
Archpriest Igor Fomin: Everything that happens to you is the will of God. Everything that has come to you, everything that has happened to you, you should be surprised by it. And what is surprise? This is when a person stands next to some diva, standing next to the diva. Some out-of-the-ordinary incident happened to you, a pot of cabbage soup fell on you, I don’t know, from the second floor - you can be embittered, or you can be surprised.
The life of any priest is literally a daily wonder. In each confession, a whole life often passes before your eyes, full of mysteries and unpredictable turns. Father Igor Fomin has been practicing confession for almost twenty-five years since he was ordained to the priesthood.
Temple of the Blessed Prince Alexander Nevsky at MGIMO. Its rector, Archpriest Igor Fomin, meets the new altar icon. The temple was built five years ago, but the interior arrangement is still ongoing. The temple of the blessed prince Alexander Nevsky will remain in the forests for a long time. The walls and dome of such a large temple are painted by only two people. The work is carried out and trusted strictly by their own people, so that everything is done in the same style and with one hand - this takes longer, but is more reliable and cheaper. The close attention to the choice of icon painters is not accidental; there was an incident with the last altar icon.
It so happened, unfortunately, that we ordered icons, and many icons were ordered for the church of one workshop, and money was paid - most of the money was paid, and, unfortunately, they let us down, they deceived us, although before that they were very wonderful They painted beautiful icons and disappeared with this money. Well, well... And so we found other masters from Palekh and decided to continue. Thank God, there was a good-willed person.
This temple is a beloved home for hundreds of parishioners from the families of students, teachers, and the home of its rector, Father Igor Fomin. But he could have chosen a completely different path in life - for example, becoming a doctor. In high school, he became seriously interested in medicine.
Before the army, I graduated from medical school, fell in love with medicine, wanted to be a surgeon, and after the army I entered medical school, although Father Vasily, our confessor, told me: “No, let’s go straight to the seminary.” I say: “Father, well, you have a secular education, I want it too!” I really wanted to go into medicine. He says: “Well, why, you don’t need it - believe me!” - “Well, that’s how I want it!” He says: “Well, okay, go, lose a year.” I was so happy, I thought: why a year is five years, and there are also all sorts of residencies, and so on, and so on.
He remembered the words of his confessor, Father Vasily Vladyshevsky, later, when he failed the first exam in his favorite subject.
I “killed myself” at the first exam, although everything was favorable. I prepared, my mother taught at the medical institute in Third Med, and at the moment when I entered Third Med, the son of the rector of Third Med lived in our vacant apartment with his family, which had just been formed, that is, you understand that all the most favorable conditions were created, I had to do it. And the first exam was an exam in literature, an essay had to be written: “Creativity of war in the poems of Vysotsky.” I was one of the first to write this essay, which was several pages long, and turned it in. I didn’t have any questions that I wrote everything correctly. I left and began to prepare for the next subject - biology or chemistry, now I don’t remember what it was. Moreover, this was on the day of Peter and Paul. I went in this morning and took communion in the Novoslobodskaya church. I remember this day very well. I went to take my exams, everything was great. I looked when the next exam was, prepared, came to it, began to look at the lists of applicants who were taking the exams and did not find myself. I think: well, how come, apparently I missed it, I was inattentive, they didn’t turn it on, it happens, I looked at it again. No. It can not be! And it couldn’t get into your proud head that you didn’t pass the exam.
Having failed the exam, he was not upset; the words of his confessor were firmly in his head. After medical school, he took the documents and entered the seminary the next year. So the failed doctor became a healer of human souls. God often leads us along incomprehensible, tangled paths, confusing our planned plans, deeds, and meetings. Only much later do we understand His brilliant directorial plan, His providence for us.
That day in the life of the young priest Igor Fomin was exactly like this - with planned plans, activities and meetings. It was necessary to help my aunt build a bridge in a destroyed village. The young priest eagerly responded to the proposal, but from the very morning the day went awry.
In the morning, while everyone was waking up, she said: “Listen, let’s go to the village, you go by car, I’ll show you our prayer house.” They didn’t have a church in the village, but they opened a prayer house right in some hut; someone gave them the hut. The priest comes there and serves the liturgy there. Interesting: the destroyed bell tower remains. “We’ll drive by and have a look, and if you’re in the car, we’ll go into the store and do some shopping.” I say: “Of course, let's go.” I put on my clothes - after all, it’s a house of prayer. We stopped at the prayer house: it was very beautifully decorated, some paper icons cut out from magazines were hung, rugs knitted by grandmothers - very cozy, everything was clean, neat, beautiful. They sang troparions - now I don’t remember which troparion they sang. We go out, and suddenly some grandmother comes in and says: “Oh, are you a priest, son, or what?” I say: “Yes, mother, that’s what a priest is like.” - “Listen, today is my thirtieth anniversary, let’s serve a memorial service?” - "Let's". And I’m thinking: the men are already gathering there, they’re probably getting up now, they’ll get a little drunk, they’ll eat, and we’ll have to go and do the bridge while there’s daylight, felling logs, and so on, and so on.
But the good undertaking was not destined to come true that day. The priest did not reach the builders. On the way to the bridge, one or another urgent matter arose. Near the local abandoned bell tower, the priest’s car was stopped by a strange stranger.
Well, in the middle of the ashes there is a bell tower, on it “Masha plus Vasya equals love” - everything is the same as everywhere else, everything is as usual. They looked, kissed the stones, turned around and left. And some guy in glasses ran past us - so red, round, he ran somewhere. Well, I ran and ran. We got into the car, and suddenly there was such a blow to my window, I actually flinched in surprise: “Are you a priest?” - "Yes". - “I want to confess.” I say: “What’s the question?” He says: “I’m going to hang myself, I don’t want to have sins, I want to be without sins.” And, you know, it let me go, immediately let me go, and I understood why I had come four hundred kilometers away, why the Lord stopped me everywhere, took me everywhere. The Lord is a great director, He made it so that we crossed paths with Him. The Lord gave a chance to see a man in a cassock with a cross and gave him the opportunity to suddenly think, because, as I remember, he nurtured this state for a long time.
What prompted the terrible thought and the details of the failed suicide will remain a secret confession. It lasted an hour and a half in the destroyed bell tower.
He never took communion, he never went to confession, he never went to church, he probably saw priests on TV, well, that's probably all he knew about it, but he took advantage of this situation, and I hope - still lives.
After that confession, he was amazed at how the Lord delicately but persistently controls and guides, while always leaving a choice.
Then I realized, when I got into the car after this confession, that we would not build a bridge - in general, this is how it turned out, because the Lord did not bring us here for the sake of the bridge, and maybe the Lord even advised these men to steal the bridge in order to so that I didn’t save - this is a very important aspect here - I became that cog, mechanism, or maybe that pawn in this big strategic game with God, where He gave a person the opportunity to realize a lot of things. For me, this, of course, was a defeat, a defeat of my entire idea of God's love, but also of that, probably, persistent delicacy with which the Lord offers this love. Still, a person still has the right to choose between one action and another.
Father, do you like ice cream?
Very. I really love ice cream, this probably takes me back to my childhood very strongly, although I can’t say that I’m somehow sad about anything now in this state; but childhood is always childhood, it is always very beautiful. And when you eat ice cream, some moments just pop up: here you are walking with your grandfather, with a little war veteran by the hand, or, there, with your dad, who works at the Academy of Sciences.
Today's ice cream is still not the same as in childhood. And it’s inferior in weight: 80 grams versus 100, and in taste. More than anything, he loved his grandfather’s ice cream; the war veteran made it himself.
There were different types of ice cream when I was a kid. There was no shortage of ice cream, but in my childhood there was even homemade ice cream. I remember how my grandfather, the head physician of a hospital near Moscow, made ice cream. I don’t remember the details now, but it was the most delicious ice cream.
The childhood of the future priest was like that of most Soviet boys. He often wore a pioneer tie in his trouser pocket, loved to play hooligans and rode freight trains with his friends. The dangerous pampering, as usual, did not lead to any good: the hooligans were caught by the police. Then Igor Fomin got it from his parents for the first time.
Naturally, the police are still such a jurisdictional matter, they came to the school, called, and then the parents called. My parents got...
Now you can even face a criminal offense for this.
Yes, but then for the first time they forgave us, although they threatened us with a police nursery, to register us, to give us a suspended sentence... For us it was something terrible. And so, I remember how after that my mother scolded me, it seems, after that - I don’t remember now, because of this or not, but she scolded me so much, I was so ashamed, uncomfortable... Naturally, I tried something there to object, and then she led her to dad. She says: “Yura, talk to him!” He looked at me like that and continued to study, and I felt so uncomfortable, scared, I said: “Dad, at least whip me, punish me somehow!” He looked at me again and said: “You know, if you are a fool, then this is useless, but if you are smart, you already understand everything.” And you know, for me this was the worst thing.
However, he has something good to remember from his school life: he collected stamps, badges, and old paper money, while he was fond of sports and even became the best handball goalkeeper of the RSFSR among juniors. Perhaps he would have reached significant athletic heights in adult handball, but there was a problem with the schedule: as luck would have it, the lesson fell on a Sunday every time.
All competitions were scheduled for Sunday. By that time I was already serving at the altar, and I made one exception - I was serving at the altar and missed the competition; and on another Sunday I went to a competition and missed the altar. And at some point the coach found out what the problem was and said: “You have to choose: either butts or sports.”
He chose God - consciously and consistently, following the way his parents accepted God into their lives. First, Dad, who became a deep believer after the death of his father. Georgy Fomin worked at the Academy of Sciences and was a serious programmer.
When he died, I found the following entry in his phone: “May 5, 1976, I became a believer” - this is the day of his father’s death. Dad had been a believer before, but apparently the death of his father, who was also an extraordinary, very kind man, struck him so much that, probably, there was some new stage in his relationship with God.
Three years later, at the age of nine, Igor was baptized along with his mother. We can say that from that time his active life in Orthodoxy began. He remembers exactly that at fourteen he first entered the altar, and two years earlier, at twelve, he read the Gospel.
And I read it very quickly, in about two and a half to three weeks, no more. I just swallowed - I swallowed the New Testament, naturally, not the whole Bible, but I swallowed the New Testament, and for me it was, you know, like such a defeat. Here too, no matter the line, no matter the verse, it simply amazed me from head to toe. And now you read, understand, look: there’s something else, you’re missing some very bright moments, but then it seemed to me that just everything, every line, every letter concerned me. And from that moment on, naturally, such a love for the Holy Scriptures was instilled in me.
Vaccinated voluntarily, without instruction or edification. The parents never put pressure on their son and always gave him freedom of choice, but surprisingly, all the father’s conversations always imperceptibly came down to the Gospel.
How he did it - I still can’t understand and comprehend it; but no matter what, no matter who he spoke to, or whoever spoke to him, they always at the end of the conversation turned to the Gospel and ended with the Gospel. This amazing ability was possessed by a father who sincerely loved the Lord and the Holy Scriptures.
Dad has always been an example for his son. Georgy Fomin was ordained a priest when his son returned from the army. Thus, Archpriest Georgy Fomin restored the line of priests, which was interrupted after the revolution.
Many stories of prisoners, both former and not yet convicted, passed before his eyes. The confession of one of them was especially memorable.
In the evening after the service I went to confession, and somehow I stayed for a very long time. And a man came up, young, probably about thirty. He says, “Do you have time?” I say: “Yes.” - “I will take a very long time from you, I want to confess for the rest of my life.” I think, well, what is it - thirty years: “Okay, of course, please.”
He was accustomed to many things in his pastoral work, but he was not prepared for the fact that this would be the confession of a murderer. The killer was not an ordinary one, but a professional one; in the 90s he was a hired killer and killed a lot of people.
When he returned from the army, it was completely different times; it was already the beginning of the 90s, hectic showdowns, lads, and he was attracted to this business, and with simple threats: if you don’t want to do it, then your loved ones will suffer. He agreed to this and became a contract killer, a contract killer. Moreover, when he reached this page of his history, he says: “You know, father, it makes absolutely no difference to me what you do after this confession: whether you go to the police (there was still a police force back then) or not, I don’t care at all, I’m just I can’t live anymore.” And, indeed, he has already told some such things, unsightly, terrible things. I confessed - this was the first time I had this, the first and last time, this has never happened before.
Then the priest was faced with a difficult choice: hand over the killer to the police for the crime he committed or keep the confession a secret.
But the Lord also dealt with me in a very interesting way in this regard. Probably the next day, if I’m not mistaken, I discovered Theophan the Recluse - just like that, just at random. I was preparing for a sermon, and then you first open the book, and then you look for some page there - and suddenly some word from the clergyman about confession. And suddenly I read such very interesting words from him that if the Gospel and the cross should lie in front of the confessor, then the confessor, that is, the priest, should also have a knife - as a reminder that it is better to cut off your tongue than to divulge your confession. And for me the question was closed both morally and ethically. And after probably six months, maybe a year, I received a letter to the Kazan Cathedral, where he describes his fate. Moreover, it was no longer gloomy like his confession, but, on the contrary, positive, that after confession - he says - I felt freedom, I myself went to the police and surrendered. He was given a life sentence, and he is incredibly happy about it.
For him, such a rebirth of a person’s soul after confession is a real miracle.
For me, a miracle is the rebirth of another person, when in humility and repentance you suddenly name your sins and repent of them, and they are forgiven you. This is a miracle, this is such an amazing miracle...
Video source: SPAS TV channel
The most significant topics covered by Igor Fomin
Of all the points of the Sermon on the Mount, the priest examined in most detail the phrase about the bliss of the poor in spirit. According to the priest, this is what the Gospel calls people who are devoid of vanity and pride and therefore are ready to follow Jesus Christ. Archpriest Igor Fomin gives here an example from his biography. One of his friends has suffered from cerebral palsy since childhood.
Despite this, a friend once confessed to the priest with all sincerity that he was grateful to the Lord for making him happy. When the priest asked him about the reason for his joy, he replied that he was grateful to the Almighty for his illness, which did not allow him to commit many sins. Such people can be called poor in spirit.
Why is there only one life?
- But, indeed, someone is born, say, into an Orthodox family, from childhood they know what the Bible is, they have an interest in spiritual life. And there are children who are born in the outback into families of alcoholics. Does this mean that one initially has more prerequisites to become better, while the other has fewer? How can this be explained from a Christian point of view?
- A person is responsible only for his actions. This is clear. Yes, people are born in different conditions, but every person sums up the life outcome himself. And this will happen once.
We cannot judge who has a harder life and who has it easier - everyone has their own trials.
Unfavorable circumstances can, on the contrary, become a prerequisite for clinging more tightly to God. And the prosperous - remember the Pharisees...
They were born into religious families, received an excellent education, knew the law by heart, but it was they who crucified Christ. From the lowest state you can rise, and from the highest you can fall very deep.
A person lives once. Orthodoxy does not profess reincarnation. For many reasons.
- According to what?
— Let's start with the fact that the theory of reincarnation implies the strengthening of good and strengthening of evil in the world. Let’s say a bandit dies and in his next life he is incarnated into a rat. It’s hard to “get out” of a rat, because it lives only by stealing. That is, the next reincarnation will be much worse.
Reincarnation is the principle of establishing such strict justice: if you stole, then they will steal from you; if you worked for the Gestapo, it means you will be tortured. But this, it seems to me, is not entirely fair and correct. After all, a person, according to this teaching, does not remember his past life. Even if, say, he is born not as an animal, but as a human being, whom
Photo: Alexander Malin.
he will be robbed all his life, he will not know why he is being robbed. He has no way to draw conclusions.
There are these words of the Christian philosopher of the first centuries, Tertullian: “Every soul by nature is a Christian.” She came from God. According to the Bible, man is created for the joy of God. He in no way “earns” his salvation by good deeds. This is simply out of the question.
— Why?
— Because there can be no market relations with God.
Let’s say we come to the Lord and say: “Lord, I did not kill, I did not steal, I did not envy, I did not commit fornication. Have I fulfilled Your commandments? - The Lord will say: “No.” - "Why?!" - “Because My commandment is not “not to do”, My commandment is: love!”
And reincarnation, in essence, offers a person a deal:
do this and you will live better in your next life, and then you will achieve nirvana.
- And in such a scheme, it turns out that people, in general, do not need God...
- Yes, it turns out that way. If good deeds are done out of love, great. And if it’s out of self-interest, the person is trying to pay off. “I give you the right life, and you give me eternal bliss.” This is what the Gospel condemns.
In addition, Orthodox Christians do not profess reincarnation because its result is a merger with the world Absolute. God (the Absolute), according to this theory, makes everyone the same, sends everyone into the world the same, “splits”, so to speak, in order to later be united together again.
- Let's say this is one of the possible interpretations. There are movements that believe that there is no such merger...
— Fine. But then where is the end of cultivation? If a person remains an individual, where is the end point of his reincarnations? Where is the criterion? When does the Lord stop reincarnating?
In Orthodoxy there is no “finish” - there is a “start”, but there is no “finish”.
Christianity says that God alone is perfect. Christ in the Gospel said: “Be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” That is, this is a call to perfection, a direction of the path, an unattainable model - because a person can never be equal to God, it is impossible. God is perfect Love, He shows this on the cross. And man strives to become like Christ to the best of his ability: Imitate me, as I am Christ, says the Apostle Paul. But absolute perfection is transcendental, it is unattainable...
And then, another very important aspect of the issue is the Christian attitude towards the body. Christians believe in the resurrection from the dead, and Christ rose bodily and ascended bodily to the Father. And after all
Orthodoxy attaches great importance to the body - it is not some unnecessary rubbish that a person will get rid of after death, bodies will also be transformed.
And if in 1000 lives 1000 bodies have accumulated, which one will you be resurrected in?
And what about the rest, roughly speaking? It's just garbage that will decay, and that's all? Christians believe differently.
Concise answers to questions
On one of the websites dedicated to the Orthodox faith, Archpriest Igor Fomin regularly answers questions that interest people. He presents his comments in a very brief, but nonetheless informative and instructive manner. For example, one of the site visitors asked him what sins should be confessed and which ones should be kept silent about. To this, the priest replied that we need to talk about absolutely all ungodly actions and thoughts.
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About what it means to be the rector of a church under construction, how to “neutralize” possible opponents of such construction, why at MGIMO there is a church in honor of the holy prince, about historical justice, the sacrificial help of caring people and the affairs of the young parish - a conversation with Archpriest Igor Fomin, the rector of the church in the name of the holy noble prince Alexander Nevsky at MGIMO.
– Father Igor, what is it like to be the rector of a church under construction? And is construction easy?
The construction of a temple is a sacred and mysterious matter
– The construction of a temple is a sacred and mysterious matter. As I now understand from experience, it’s not just about building walls, laying brick by brick, and doing everything to make it beautiful and comfortable. As the head of our parish, the dean of the Faculty of International Journalism at MGIMO, likes to repeat: “The temple is not in the logs, but in the ribs.” Actually, this was the starting point and this was the main thing when the parish was created at MGIMO, when the idea of building a temple arose.
Is construction easy? A lot of offices were visited, a lot of thresholds were broken so that we could be given land for the temple. And, to be honest, in general, nothing worked for us. God apparently had other plans and other time frames that did not correspond to our plans and our time frames. And everything happened with God’s blessing - naturally realized through the Moscow program “200 churches”. We entered this program in 2011, and a year later we were given a plot of land to build a church - not far from MGIMO.
There were probably difficulties, like everyone else’s – financial. We could not find funds to build the main temple. Sergei Vladilenovich Gabestro, director of the Charitable Foundation of St. Seraphim of Sarov, helped us build a temporary church. Thanks to his hard work and his expenses, the temple was built. Of course, other people also took part in the beautification of our temporary temple; we pray for them and are very grateful to them. The temporary temple was large, but it filled up very quickly and became cramped. People stood on the street... The temple could accommodate about 300 people, and on Sundays more people came. So we needed a more spacious temple like air.
When construction of the main temple began, we again encountered financial difficulties. But we were not afraid, we did not stop, and thanks to the sacrificial work of Andrei Valeryevich Gusarov, who headed the construction team, we continued: we carried out the zero cycle of work and laid the foundation. Then they began to build walls. Andrei Valerievich waited a long time for payment of our debts, but he humbly and understandingly treated our hardships, for which I bow to him. He also donated to our church a piece of the relics of St. Nicholas, Archbishop of Myra, which was kept in his home, and he showed us many benefits. This is a truly humble believer.
Our parishioner and MGIMO graduate Alexey Nikolaevich Zakharov helped us build the walls.
But we still had some debt and it weighed heavily on us. But we believed that the Lord would cover everything in due time. No one doubted that with God’s help the necessary means would be found. The parishioners prayed fervently, we served prayer services and akathists. There was a very great unity of our souls and hearts. And help came. People donated their funds to cover the debt: some small, and some considerable. So, one parishioner sold a plot of land, got some serious money and contributed it to pay our debt. Thanks to this sacrifice, we calmed our financial worries for a while.
But things went faster when its director Vladimir Olegovich Potanin paid attention to us. He, his deputy and his assistant were very helpful to us.
– How long did it take to build?
– Three years: we started construction in 2013, and on March 6, 2016, the temple was consecrated.
Many wonderful things happened during this time. And we understood the most important thing: the Lord has His own plans, and it is very important not to interfere with God’s building of the temple. In this matter, we must try to be the Lord’s auxiliary workers, His helpers.
– The first, temporary church at MGIMO was dedicated to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, but the permanent church received a different dedication – to the blessed Prince Alexander Nevsky. Why? By this they wanted to connect the foreign policy activities of the holy prince with the specialization - international relations - of the country's leading university?
– The temporary temple was consecrated in the name of St. Nicholas, the miracle worker of Myra, for this reason: until 1979, it was the St. Nicholas Church that was located here. Of course, not right on the spot where our temple stands, but a little further, in the depths of the park. We identified this place, but, unfortunately, we were not allowed to restore historical justice and build a temple there. Therefore, in order to remember the church that once stood here, we asked Patriarch Kirill to consecrate a temporary church in honor of St. Nicholas. We will continue to honor this saint: St. Nicholas will have a baptismal church. His Holiness the Patriarch showed wisdom and gave us an antimension to serve the Liturgy in the baptismal church at MGIMO.
And this is the story connected with the dedication of the temple to the blessed prince Alexander Nevsky. Back in 2005, a MGIMO delegation led by Rector Anatoly Vasilyevich Torkunov came to the ever-memorable Patriarch Alexy II to ask for a blessing for the creation of an Orthodox community and the construction of a temple at MGIMO. But they asked to bless the community in honor of the Feast of the Intercession of the Mother of God. The fact is that MGIMO was founded precisely on this holiday in 1944: USSR Minister of Foreign Affairs V.M. Molotov, who was in charge of the educational sector at that time, signed a decree establishing the Institute of International Relations on October 14. So it would be logical to name the temple in honor of the Intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos.
But the Patriarch, with his primal wisdom, decided otherwise. He said: “Pokrov is an important holiday, but your temple should be consecrated in honor of Alexander Nevsky - a great diplomat, a great warrior, a great family man. This is so important for our country." And we all remember the state – one might say, a small catastrophe – in which these most important components of the life of the state were at that time. But by the Providence of God, the prayers of saints and the labors of people, now all this has changed for the better.
– Often, during the construction of a new temple, clashes occur with local residents, “temple fighters,” and defenders of the park area. Your temple is also located in the park. Have you had any collisions?
Our temple was built entirely on donations - not a single penny from the state budget went towards it
– No, fortunately, we did not have “temple fighters.” We didn’t even have any disturbances. Public hearings were held three times dedicated to the construction of our temple, a full hall gathered at them, we answered questions from local residents... There was no such ardent opposition. There was dialogue, there was also understanding. To a large extent, this understanding was facilitated by our explanations that churches are not built at the expense of the state, not because some official allocates budget money, that they are built with donations. Our church was built entirely with donations - not a single penny from the state budget went towards it.
– But did you encounter any difficulties during the construction of the temple?
– Difficulties arise when a person either becomes fixated on himself or wants some kind of peace. And when a person works, he gets everything that should work out... And if something doesn’t work out, then, in general, we shouldn’t be upset.
There have always been and still are difficulties. But since our soul is a Christian, we don’t even remember them.
Well, if you delve into your memory, you can probably remember how worried you were when the time for the next payment approached, but it dragged on for a certain number of days, and you felt uncomfortable in front of the person to whom you had to transfer funds... There were also worries about my family, that my children and wife see me very rarely - mostly either early in the morning, when you take them to school or college, or late in the evening, when everyone is already in bed. But this is probably a problem for the entire clergy and, of course, is not good. And even more so for the person who builds the temple. But by the grace of the Lord, my family supports me, understands me and is always with me. And I think a person who helps God can overcome everything else.
– Please tell us about your parish life, about the social activities of the parish.
– The temple is young, so maybe we don’t have something yet, but there is something in very good, let’s say, development in the future. We are doing a lot of work with secondary schools in our area. We closely communicate and cooperate with teachers who teach “Fundamentals of Orthodox Culture” and courses on world religions and secular ethics, and at the same time we do not separate or oppose these teachers, because we are allies in raising children. We hold interesting themed evenings in schools. Schoolchildren also come to the temple as part of lessons on military-industrial complex, and we conduct classes on the internal structure of the temple, divine services and much more.
“Pokrovsky Starts” is also held – a game for schoolchildren. Since our temple is located in the park, we use it for this game: children not only need to answer questions on the defense education course, but also navigate the area in order to come to a certain point.
We also have established contacts with the Dmitrovsky orphanage, where children with congenital physical disabilities live and study. We have connections with two charitable organizations; one of them – “Noah” – provides assistance to the poor. We are planning to publish a newspaper... This is what I immediately remembered.
In our church there is a youth ministry, there are two Bible circles - for young people and for everyone. There are catechetical conversations of the “Men’s Club” - we deliberately went for such a non-Orthodox, perhaps non-Christian restriction, but it is for men that we collect these conversations, they have been taking place for two years now.
– With prospects for the future – for entering the seminary?
– Mostly, these classes are attended by already established people. Still, young people must enter the seminary.
On Sunday the whole church sings
We also have a folk choir that sings at all-night vigils and other services. And most importantly: at Sunday Liturgies we have folk singing - the whole church sings. The regent comes out with a little book, the people sort out the books with liturgical texts and sing the liturgical chants antiphonally with the right choir.
– Who and how do you recruit into the choir? If, for example, a person has a desire, but has no hearing, will you take it?
– We have an excellent regent, so absolutely everyone sings. I don't know people who would be denied. A folk choir is just that: a folk choir.
Further
Path to the temple
This chapter will examine the biography of Archpriest Igor Fomin and the personal life of the priest.
The priest was born in the early seventies. Like many Soviet children, he entered school at the age of seven, and when he reached the age of 9, he was baptized. The boy became so interested in church services and the activities of clergy that he began to visit churches regularly. Soon the child was accepted as an altar boy in one of the cathedrals in the Moscow region. When the young man graduated from school, his mentor blessed him to become a clergyman. But Father Igor admits that this decision was not easy. Until the very last moment, he doubted whether he could fulfill this difficult duty. Fomin even tried to enter the medical academy.
But in the end, he finally decided and followed the path for which he received the blessing. In the mid-nineties, he became a deacon of the Kazan Cathedral on Red Square.
For a long time, Igor Fomin collaborated with the Orthodox magazine “Forma”. It was he who was one of the authors of the idea of creating a church at the Moscow Institute of International Relations. When this temple was built, Metropolitan Alexy II of Moscow and All Rus' appointed a young priest as rector of this cathedral.
How were your childhood and teenage years?
The future archpriest was born on February 25, 1970 into a family of employees. His parents are believers, so when the boy turned 9 years old, he was baptized. Even then, Igor became so interested in church services that he began to visit churches and observe the activities of the clergy. When Fomin was 14 years old, he was accepted into one of the cathedrals in the Moscow region, where he served as an altar boy.
There were never any scandals or quarrels in the Fomin family, and the father and mother never scolded the boy. They acted very wisely and let him decide for himself whether he did good or bad. It was difficult for Igor to make a decision on his own, and sometimes he asked his father to whip him. But the parent answered: “Why should I spank you? If you’re smart, then you’ve already understood everything, but if you’re a fool, then it’s useless.”
After graduating from school, Fomin went to serve in the army, and after returning he thought for a long time about his future path. He decided to violate the blessing of his confessor and tried to enter medical school, but failed the exams.
About personal life
Father Igor belongs to the so-called white priesthood. That is, he is a married man. It is known that after graduating from the seminary, young people are asked to make a choice: get married or become a monk.
The priest married at the age of 24. His wife contributes in every possible way to her husband’s occupation. Archpriest Igor Fomin answers questions about his personal life very concisely. He believes that it is much more important to discuss problems related to the spiritual life of Orthodox Christians, because this is one of the aspects of his church activity.
Another field in which the priest works is secondary schools. There the priest teaches elective classes on the history of Orthodoxy. He has been doing this for more than twenty years. Father Igor happily notes that in recent years children have begun to regard priests not as something supernatural, but as ordinary people.
Church activities
In 1991, the young man fulfilled the blessing and entered the seminary. Four years later he was ordained a deacon and began to serve in the Kazan Cathedral on Red Square, and in 1996 he became a priest of the Kazan Cathedral. As soon as the magazine “Foma” began to be published, Father Igor became a member of the editorial board of the publication. Soon the issue of building a temple at MGIMO was resolved, and it was Fomin who was chosen as its rector.
The archpriest also teaches elective classes on the history of Orthodoxy at school. These classes have been held for more than 20 years, and this is what Fomin noticed: in recent years, schoolchildren do not shy away from priests, but treat them like ordinary people. In addition to serving in the church, Father Igor constantly communicates with parishioners and has even become friends with many. They help each other in business, share joys and sorrows, and visit each other.
