Archpriest John Osyak: “We have 18 children: 8 boys and 10 girls” / Pravoslavie.Ru

Archpriest John Osyak: “We have 18 children: 8 boys and 10 girls”

Archpriest John Osyak with his family. It was not possible to collect all the children

Father John Osyak exceeded all conceivable and unimaginable plans for building houses, planting trees and having children. When his first house, then still a layman and father of five children, burned down, he could not even imagine that he would become a priest, build dozens of houses and buildings from scratch, 4 churches, a diocesan theological school and a Sunday school, that in addition to 18 beautiful, kind, smart and inquisitive children, he and mother Nadezhda will have 19 grandchildren, 8 of whom will be named Ivan in honor of their grandfather, and 3 granddaughters will bear the name of grandmother Nadezhda.

Yesterday, on the patronal feast day of the Holy Trinity Church in Rostov-on-Don, its rector, Archpriest John Osyak, celebrated the 25th anniversary of his priestly ordination. The editors of the Pravoslavie.Ru portal heartily congratulate the priest on his anniversary and today, on International Children’s Day, publishes a conversation with this wonderful shepherd about Hope, faith, love, fires and the demographic explosion in a single family..

With cute paradise and in the barn

Archpriest John Osyak and Mother Nadezhda
- Father John, how did you meet Mother?
“I was a soldier when I met her.” He served as a signalman in army intelligence. There were three girls, one of them was so modest. I talked to her and felt that I was afraid of losing this girl. I realized that she was beautiful on the inside, and later all the other beauty came. I liked her for her modesty, mystery, severity and devoted heart. My co-worker friends told me that when I was returning from vacation to my duty station, Nadyusha waited for me all day at the bus station under the scorching sun - she was afraid to miss my bus. The most precious thing is the soul, that which leads us to eternity. Mother correctly understands that we must start with the soul and put things in order in our heads. Then everything else will fall into place on its own and there will be order everywhere.

– How did your life together begin?

– We got married late in the evening of November 7, 1983 in the city of Slavyansk in the Kuban. Archpriest Nikita Gavrilchik, rector of the Church of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, still remembers how I, at that time a soldier, asked him for a wedding, and Nadyusha hid, embarrassed by him.

Everyone has shortcomings. But we help each other deal with them. If you sincerely love a person, then you love him with all the pros and cons.

– Should an Orthodox woman take care of herself, or does this interfere with her spiritual life?

– Not only is it not forbidden to take care of yourself, but it is a sin not to take care of yourself. I consider it a sin when a person does not take care of himself. A woman must take care of herself. She must sacrifice herself for the sake of her loved one. And a man must sacrifice for the sake of his beloved wife. That's all. And if I don’t take care of myself, she doesn’t take care of herself, what will happen then? And when children are born, of course, it is also necessary not only for a mother with many children, but for every mother to take care of herself. It is not necessary to go to all sorts of saunas, steam baths and various procedures. This can be done at home, in the family. You can go in for sports, for example. And why not buy those things that can please your loved ones? Make yourself something that you yourself will like. You can't look in the mirror and be afraid of yourself. And it’s not just about the beauty of the face and clothes. A year ago we received a diploma for having the most beautiful yard in Rostov-on-Don. Together with the children we take care of our yard.

– You have many children, many awards. Were there many tests?

“Our family survived three fires when everything burned to the ground. The houses had to be restored three times. So the Lord, through overcoming troubles and adversity, tempered us. Now we live in our own comfortable house.

Nadezhda Osyak with 5 children. 1986

– Thousands of Russians have recently suffered from fires. Where did you live until help came?

We all stood up to pray - and in the morning we found out that it was during our prayer that a miracle happened

- We lived in a barn. The two youngest children were in intensive care; the rest were sent to relatives. The house burned down, but the barn remained. At night, when my wife and I went to bed, rats were running all over us. We wrap ourselves tightly in a blanket and throw off the rats. It was very scary and unpleasant, but there was nowhere to go. So what to do? We had to experience a lot of things. This was on the eve of the winter of 1989. It turned out that my mother was sick, we went to her, took medicine for literally an hour, and the children found matches and carelessly set the house on fire. When a fire broke out in the house, five children were trapped in the middle of the raging flames. If it weren’t for our neighbor Anna Novitskaya... She broke the window and almost died herself, but saved our children. Doctors said that the younger children would not live to see the morning. At 3 o’clock in the morning we all stood up to pray: “Lord, save the children if they grow up to be good believers!” And in the morning we learned that it was during our prayer that a miracle happened: a layer of soot began to come off from our sons’ lungs. And the next day another grief: my mother died. The worst thing is to lose your beloved mother. Before that, I experienced the death of my infinitely beloved father, and now I was saying goodbye to my mother.

With five children and my beloved wife left in my arms, I set about building a new house. I got up at 4 in the morning and went to bed after midnight. But two months later a new house already stood in the same place. Relatives, neighbors, and friends helped, but most of the work fell on my wife and I’s shoulders. Can you imagine, on December 31, exactly two months after the fire, I was already lighting the boiler in my new house! We have a lot of relatives. Naturally, they helped financially, and the diocese helped, although I was not a priest then.

“I asked the Lord to teach me how to build. And two days later the house burned to the ground."

Archpriest John Osyak
- Who were you?

At the age of 25 I already had five children. It was difficult, but interesting

– Before getting married and while serving in the army, I received the qualifications of a shoemaker, car mechanic, driver, hairdresser and radio mechanic. All this was useful in life. When my mother and I began our lives, I was a simple boy, an altar boy at the cathedral. At the age of 25 I already had five children. It was difficult, but interesting. When children began to be born one after another, they bought a small house. They occupied the land, worked, grew flowers and fruits for sale, and fished. We had parrots at home. In addition to parrots, he also bred ferrets. This is a fur-bearing animal, a hybrid of a ferret and a mink. People came to us and bought them. Yes, a lot of things. We were young then, wealthy, we earned very good money, there was enough money by our standards. Life was going very well for us. It seems that nothing more is needed, only the intelligence was not enough.

The most interesting thing is that on the eve of the fire I went out into the garden and said: “Lord, help me, please teach me how to build. I have money, my fifth child was born, but I have nowhere to put it. I don’t know how to build a room, I have no experience, and I don’t have enough intelligence.” Two days later the house burned to the ground. I asked and received it immediately. You just have to survive. I immediately realized that the Lord heard me and was helping us, giving us experience and intelligence through some test. But, thank God, all the children remained alive and well. Then I asked again - I received, asked again - I received what I asked for. And I had to go through everything like that. Fortunately, when our houses were burning, my only reliable friend, whom I love very much, was my mother. My sister also had trouble. We all stood up together. My sister had a dilapidated house that burned down, but the new one turned out ten times better. God gives certain tests. He also gives strength and help.

Construction of the Holy Trinity Church in Rostov-on-Don

Holy Trinity Church in Rostov-on-Don. Modern look

“Did the house burn down in answer to your prayers?”

When you really want to ask God for something, think before you ask

– When we ask God for help or pray for family and friends, we must clearly understand that the Lord sometimes does not immediately send help to us, but as we grow spiritually. We must always thank God for everything, and Job the Long-Suffering should be a good example for us. We will find an example and answers from him. And when we stand for prayer, we must understand that we often ask not for what is useful, but for what we want, and this does not always bring benefit to a person. It is very important to say the following words in prayer: “Not as I want, Lord, but as You know what I need for the salvation of my soul.” And if we want God to hear us, we must be focused on prayer and hear ourselves. When we pray, ask God for something, but we don’t hear ourselves, how will God hear us? I always tell my parishioners: “When you really want to ask God for something, think before you ask.”

So I asked God to teach me how to build and live, I asked for intelligence, and the Lord taught me, but at what cost! And if you are ready to change radically, sometimes you need to go through a lot, and it happens that with our characters and pride we need urgent spiritual surgery. We have gone through a lot, and now we have a big beautiful house, Vladimir Ivanovich Yakunin, the president of Russian Railways, helped us build it, who presented mother with the signs of the St. Andrew the First-Called “Faith and Loyalty” award. We are grateful to him and his wife Natalya Viktorovna, who is doing such a good deed - leading the all-Russian program “The Sanctity of Motherhood.”

About miracles, love and family happiness

– Were there any miracles in your family?

– I have already said that we were convinced of the power of God’s Providence after the first fire, when the two youngest children could have died in intensive care, but my mother and I prayed, and the children survived. And one day the ruling bishop suggested that I build a Holy Trinity parish. I then served at the parish in the village of Ryazhenoe, and didn’t think about a career. I didn’t want to change the established life at the parish in the village for work on the land, which still needed to be taken, and then build a temple. After a conversation with the Metropolitan, who listened to me, but did not accept my refusal, but gave me three days to think it over, our seriously ill daughter Elena became even worse and the next morning she began to suffocate severely. I carried her in my arms, mother was already exhausted, fighting for her life for seven months. The daughter in my arms began to choke, shaking her arms and legs violently, but her breathing stopped and she died. She was no longer breathing, and then I asked God to bring her back to life and made a vow that I would make every effort to build a temple. And the mother promised that if her daughter came to life, she would sing in the temple choir. And immediately after that the thought came to me to blow into my daughter’s mouth. When I did this, her breathing began to come in jerks. Now the churches are standing, our daughter has become a mother and choir director, she and her husband have three children. Their first son was named Ivan with gratitude to God.

Father John Osyak with children

– How did you manage to preserve your love despite all your misfortunes?

– Life is so short. I don’t remember many moments right away. When we sit down at the table, the children and I have a very interesting and long conversation. It turns out that everything that happened has flown by, such beauty has flown by, there is nothing that would be annoying. Thank God for everything! There were a lot of trials, but thanks to all the misfortunes that we experienced, we got back on our feet and the children became stronger.

Newborn aunt for five grandchildren

– Tell us about your children.

– In total, we have 8 boys (Ivan, Alexey, Evgeny, Alexander, Vladimir, Grigory, Sergey and Seraphim) and 10 girls (Olga, Elena, Maria, Tatyana, Anna, Nadezhda, Evdokia, Daria, Ksenia, who died tragically, and Anastasia). The elders are already fully established, educated people. Ivan is an entrepreneur. Alexey and Evgeniy are receiving their third higher education: behind them are the Stavropol Theological Seminary, the Institute of Caucasian Peoples, and the St. Petersburg Theological Academy. Two of my sons-in-law are priests, and another son is a deacon. In general, everything is thank God.

Belgorod. The Osyakov family is heading to receive the Parental Record Award. 2012

– How do you survive, because everyone needs to be raised, fed, educated, educated?

In a large family everything is fine. To understand a large family, you need to live in it for several days

– A personal example is needed in everything. In a large family everything is fine. To understand a large family, you need to live in it for several days, and everything will become clear. All life is work, work and work, but this is not slavery, but real happiness. The Lord said: “For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.” We all believe and know that He guides us and helps us in everything.

– I read that when you already had five grandchildren, they were expecting your newborn 18th daughter, who is their aunt, from the maternity hospital.

“Our Nastya was in a hurry with her appearance: mother’s birth was premature. They were received by Professor Alexander Romashevsky and doctor Elena Lavrenova. The daughter was born weighing only 1200 grams and was in an incubator while she was growing up. My nephew, Father Valery, christened her right in the hospital room. Probably the entire Orthodox city prayed for Nastenka and mother. Since the 18th daughter is early and mother was in danger. Everything was very serious. I was called to a council, and six professors asked me to pray, and the Lord again showed mercy. Both mother and Nastya are alive and well.

Temple in honor of St. Seraphim of Sarov, Rostov-on-Don. Restored by Father John Osyak

– For many, having many children is associated with poverty, trouble, various difficulties, and material deprivation. I remember how our friends huddled with three children in a tiny room. Many parents have difficulty dressing their children, and hence the complexes that hinder them in adulthood.

– Yes, all this is our real life. It is a pity that large families are often considered “social dependents”, although they have very modest benefits, and the amount of child benefits is simply ridiculous. Few large families now manage to be wealthy and prosperous. But no difficulties can stop them from being happy. In families like ours, having many children is associated with feelings of love, friendship, respect, responsibility, cohesion, mutual assistance, goodwill and independence.

About abortion and family planning

– Now many are afraid to have large families and are planning to have children.

- Do not be afraid. The problem is that a person is afraid and plans a family. This is the problem. You know, the most important thing: before you want to start a family, measure a thousand times and cut once. It is very important to approach this responsibly. If a man decides to marry his wife, he must understand that this is for life. If he doesn’t understand this, if he’s still thinking about whether to get married or not, then he shouldn’t do it, it’s better not to get married. And the spouse, if in doubt, then there is no need to get married, so as not to make a big mistake. But if they both realized that they are both ready to live and survive everything until death, then they need to start a family. As for family planning... You can't plan! God gives children. If a guy and a girl fell in love with each other and God gave them that they conceived and a child appeared, this is the best thing in life. The best child is the one that is born.

At the bottom of St. Peter and Fevronia of Murom

A woman, committing infanticide, kills her husband's love

The devil attacks the spouses, instilling in them various thoughts that maybe they don’t have enough money, they don’t have enough health, or something else. A woman must understand that when she has an abortion and commits infanticide, she is killing the love of her husband. With each child killed, she loses her husband more and more. It’s the same if a husband pushes a woman, his wife, to have an abortion. By doing this he kills her love for himself. It's unavoidable. This happens unnoticed, and then you look - the family has broken up.

– Have you and your mother thought about this topic?

– When my mother was expecting her first child, we planned, sitting on the porch: we would give birth to two, and the third by the age of forty. But the Lord knew better. If I love a woman and she gave birth to a child, how can I not love this child? Among our parishioners there are spouses who already have four children, although their plans were to have no more than two children. They actively help orphanages. And many of Mother Nadezhda’s friends begin to give birth to many children. Previously, they considered children to be a hindrance in their career and personal life. No need to plan. The Lord has sent a baby - rejoice. Whatever God gives, rejoice in everything. Children are not a burden, but a joy.

Ivan Osyak with a newborn

– Many women might like to have many children, but their health does not allow it.

“They also told my wife: “You will die, and the child will die.” Anything happened. But the Lord protected us. If God sent us a child, He gave us health and everything else. If a spouse becomes pregnant, neither she nor her husband should even think about abortion. After all, it’s not just a child being born to a father and mother. A rational soul is born. The Lord sends him into the world. The birth of a child is sent from God.

About beauty

Archpriest John Osyak and Mother Nadezhda
- In the minds of many, the image of a mother with many children is an exhausted woman who is torn between her husband, housework, kindergarten and school.
And your wife is so young, well-groomed, slim, so smart and beautiful. What's the secret? – I think, first of all, in our roots. The most important thing is gratitude to our parents. My mother and I were born into large Orthodox families. My parents had 18 children. I was the tenth child. Mother's parents also had many children. In our families, we worked and lived from what we grew. Parents raised their children to love themselves and each other. And when my mother and I also had a lot of children, it was interesting and easy, it seemed like there was nothing complicated. Once my mother told me: “I live for God, for you and for the children.” Maybe this is her secret?

We all stood up to pray - and in the morning we found out that it was during our prayer that a miracle happened

“I asked the Lord to teach me how to build. And two days later the house burned to the ground."

– Who were you?

A woman, committing infanticide, kills her husband's love

– Have you and your mother thought about this topic?

Ivan Osyak with a newborn

– Many women might like to have many children, but their health does not allow it.

About people

Working in the social sector is a relief for Father Evgeniy. He doesn't get tired of it. Continuity probably played a role, because before Fr. Evgeniya The social synodal department of the diocese was headed by his father, Archpriest John Osyak, for almost fifteen years. “I always really liked his work, I went with him to almost all events, it turned me on... I like to work with people, listen to them, talk to them, understand, delve into their needs.”

The joy of communicating with people is darkened only when you have to scold them. Father Evgeniy still won’t get used to this. “After all, you want everyone to think the way you think. But often the boss turns out to be right. If God gave the boss brains, does that mean there is something in it? And sometimes, it happens, you demand from a person, but it’s like hitting the wall! He doesn't hear you, that's all. He does it his way and that’s it, and then he has to redo it. This is what I'm tired of. And from everything else – not at all.”

Fr.'s office Evgeniya is full of people, not only petitioners, but also those who want to help. “It happens that a person just enters the office, has not yet had time to say anything, but it already becomes clear where to put him. I even stopped being surprised.”

In a large family everything is fine. To understand a large family, you need to live in it for several days

– I read that when you already had five grandchildren, they were expecting your newborn 18th daughter, who is their aunt, from the maternity hospital.

Temple in honor of St. Seraphim of Sarov, Rostov-on-Don. Restored by Father John Osyak

About abortion and family planning

– Now many are afraid to have large families and are planning to have children.

At the bottom of St. Peter and Fevronia of Murom

When you really want to ask God for something, think before you ask

About miracles, love and family happiness

– Were there any miracles in your family?

Father John Osyak with children

– How did you manage to preserve your love despite all your misfortunes?

Newborn aunt for five grandchildren

– Tell us about your children.

Belgorod. The Osyakov family is heading to receive the Parental Record Award. 2012

– How do you survive, because everyone needs to be raised, fed, educated, educated?

About the Church and Range Rover

The humanitarian aid center is “purely ecclesiastical.” “There is nothing state-owned there at all.” Because, Father Eugene believes, it is important for people whether they receive help from the Church or from the state. He is in the warehouse almost every day. “One day a Range Rover pulls up. The numbers are Ukrainian. A respectable man gets out with a bag and goes to the warehouse. But here, it’s like in a big supermarket: you go in and there are shelves, you go, you take it, you put it all in the basket, you go to the table, you check it out, and off you go. So he typed and begins to process it.

This confused me. I couldn’t stand it, I went up to him and said: “Tell me, please, you came in such an expensive car, you’re probably renting an apartment somewhere, and do you have some kind of opportunity to exist?” And he said to me: “Why are you asking me this question?” I say: “You took a lot. And look into the hall. Do you see people tinkering with second-hand things? Do you really need such things? And he answers: “Well, so what now? You are obliged to issue “humanitarian aid” - so issue it!” I say: “What makes you think that we are obliged?” He says: “Well, you are the Humanitarian Aid Center.” I say: “Church Center, not state. We are not a political organization and are not obliged to anyone and the state does not help us. We are helped by sponsors, foundations and all those who are not indifferent to people's misfortune. Do you see the women and grannies here rummaging around with their used clothes? Are you like that?

He looked and said: “So I’m taking from the Church here?”, he thought, gave everything back, said “sorry” and left. And I’m sitting, and somehow my soul hurts: after all, I think it shouldn’t have been like that. If a person arrived, you had to give it to him.

And what do you think? About two hours later this Range Rover arrives back at the warehouse. My name is: “Father, father, that man has arrived!” I come up, I’m excited - well, now it’ll probably be sorted out. He gets out of the car, opens the trunk and starts unloading bags: sugar, pasta, rice. Everything is brought into the warehouse. “Here,” he says, “for refugees.” And we often have such cases.”

About the crisis

Recently at Fr. Evgeniy opened a new project - “Social Taxi”. For those who need to be transported from home to some medical facility, to a temple or somewhere else, the Department now has a group of volunteers with cars. Now there are more than 50 of them. Who are these volunteers? Parishioners of churches, including refugees, social workers of churches...

“We have a hotline number. We first learn more about the person who asked for help. When the accuracy of this information is confirmed, a car is sent for him,” explains Fr. Eugene. Metropolitan Mercury of Rostov and Novocherkassk supervises all the work of the Department personally. The Metropolitan blessed Father Eugene for this obedience when he was 24 years old. In three years of work Fr. Evgeniy has worked with many people. The social ministry of the Church is a fairly new project, so there was nowhere to hire “personnel employees”; their training was ongoing. “I trained my secretary myself, because the Department is a serious structure, with a lot of reporting activities and document flow. Reports and letters are written, work is carried out with petitioners, so the person must be competent, responsible, and vigilant.”

About labor

Father Eugene has two churches, and at each one some “poor fellow” lives and works, sometimes several. “Completely homeless. Each of them came to my office and said: “Give me help. Give me support." I say: “Here is the territory of the temple (I work at the cemetery, and there is a large territory there), go to the gardener, take a mower and mow it.” And he says to me: “Will you give me clothes?” He's standing there drunk, he's blue, his legs are blue, he's just scary. I say: “I’ll give you things, feed you, dress you, don’t worry. Go and work." He's coming. He goes outside, lies down on the lawn, and sleeps. Literally takes about forty minutes to get up. I look out the window to see what he will do. I see he’s working. As I was leaving the church in the evening, the watchman came up to me and said: “Father, what should we do with this man?” - “Well, we have a bench, take out the pillows and put them in them for him. In the morning, give him a bath, dress him, and let him work.” All. It’s been two years since he’s lived at the church.”

People with criminal records often come. “And the same thing – you’ll send him to work, and if the person agrees, he’ll go, and you’ll see – he’ll be restored.”