About the relationship between husband and wife in marriage. (Holy Apostle Paul). Discussion on LiveInternet

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Wednesday, July 12, 2021 12:34 + to quote book

The Holy Apostle Paul said great words about the relationship between husband and wife in marriage: Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the Head of the Church. But just as the Church submits to Christ, so do wives to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her. This is how husbands should love their wives as they love their bodies: he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one has ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and warms it, just as the Lord does the Church, because we are members of His body, from His flesh and from His bones. Therefore a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is great; I speak in relation to Christ and the Church. So let each of you love his wife as himself; and let the wife fear her husband (Eph. 5:22-25, 28-32). How the Apostle Paul exalts the marriage union! Can there be a higher likening of marriage than likening it to the union of Christ and the Church? This is an ascension to the unattainable heights of the holiness of the marriage bond between a man and a woman. The Lord heads the Church, just as the head crowns our body, for it contains the brain, the most important of all the organs of our body. From Christ, as from the root, all members of the Church feed on the holy Divine juices - our life is in Him, and therefore the Church is holy. And in marriage, from the husband, as from the head, comes all the best necessary for the prosperity of the family. There are different types of love: there is the love of a husband for his wife, a wife for her husband, the love of parents for their children, the love of children for their parents. There is also a higher form of love - for all people, because in every person we must see the image of God. There is the most perfect degree of love, the highest and most holy - love for God. In any matter, one must gradually ascend from the simple to the higher. Therefore, let marriage serve us for the purpose of teaching love. Marital love is easy, because it is supported by the strong, incessant desire of one flesh for another, it is strengthened by an inextricable bodily connection. The bodies of a man and a woman complement each other, and through this a new person is born into the world. But carnal love should not be the goal of marriage. In it we must learn higher love: we must love our wife not for her flesh, but for her pure soul and kind heart. The wife has what the husband does not have; she spiritually complements him, and vice versa. Therefore, in the relationship between spouses, those characteristics of the spirit, mind and heart that are characteristic only of a man and only a woman should manifest themselves with enormous force. In marriage, a man finds a great replenishment of his essence, the treasures of his spirit from the treasures of his wife’s soul. The coarseness of a man’s heart is compensated by the tenderness and purity of a wife’s heart, for a woman’s heart is much subtler, more capable of spiritual love. And the wife must remember that God initially gave a man greater bodily strength than she had, and mental strength in most cases far superior to the strength of the female mind. When communicating with her husband, she must make up for her lack of strength and depth of mind with his knowledge, his strong will. A man and a woman must become one body and one soul in marriage. From their union something higher should be born, uniting all the good and great that is in each of them. Isn't this enrichment?! Isn't this the grace of God?! Isn’t this the whole secret of marriage, the deepest meaning of the marriage union? Saint Luke (Voino-Yasenetsky).

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Why does the Apostle Paul say that it is better not to get married?

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Question:

Is it true that the Bible says that it is better not to get married? What is this “better”?

Yes it's true. In Chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul wrote that it is better not to get married if you cannot control yourself, so as not to fall under the pressure of wanting to have a sexual relationship. The Apostle Paul was not married. He wrote the following about marriage:

For I wish that all people were like me; but everyone has his own gift from God, one this way, the other another. (1 Cor. 7:7)

Thus, the Apostle Paul says that it would be better not to get married and also says that each person has his own gift from God regarding marriage. For one person, getting married is a gift from God, and for another, not getting married is also a gift from God. He repeats the same thought (that it is better not to marry) in the next verse, and then explains under what conditions his thought is effective when he says:

To the unmarried and widows I say: it is good for them to remain as I do. But if they [cannot] abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to become inflamed. (1 Cor. 7:8,9)

So, you can recognize whether you have a gift from God not to marry if you can abstain from marriage without being pressured by desires of a sexual nature. The Apostle Paul goes on to give several reasons why it is better for someone not to marry:

Needs and sorrows

In the context of the persecutions of those times, the Apostle Paul wrote:

Out of real need, I recognize for the best that it is good for a person to remain like this. Are you connected to your wife? don't look for a divorce. Are you left without a wife? don't look for a wife. However, even if you get married, you will not sin; and if the girl marries, she will not sin. But such will have tribulations according to the flesh ; and I feel sorry for you. (1 Cor. 7:26-28)

Those who were married were more strongly influenced by the needs caused by the sorrows of those times, and the Apostle wanted to save them from this, saying that it would be better for them not to marry.

To serve the Lord without worries and obstacles

This is another reason for someone to remain outside of marriage, and the Apostle Paul presents it as follows:

And I want you to be worry-free. An unmarried man cares about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord; But a married man worries about worldly things, how to please his wife. There is a difference between a married woman and a girl: an unmarried woman cares about the Lord, how to please the Lord, in order to be holy in both body and spirit; but a married woman worries about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put bonds on you, but so that you decently and continually [serve] the Lord without distraction. (1 Cor. 7:32-35)

And the last motive...

To be happier

This is what the Apostle Paul says at the conclusion of chapter 7, when he considers the situation of Christian widows who have the opportunity to get married and says the following:

A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord. But she will be happier if she remains like this , according to my advice; but I think that I also have the Spirit of God. (1 Cor. 7:39,40)

Marriage or the lack thereof is in no way a condition for salvation or a hint of a person's spirituality. The same Apostle Paul is the one who seriously accused the heretics who forbade marriage. In 1 Timothy the Apostle wrote:

The Spirit clearly says that in the last times some will depart from the faith, listening to seducing spirits and teachings of demons, through the hypocrisy of false talkers, seared in their consciences, forbidding marriage [and] eating what God created so that those who are faithful and know they partook of the truth with thanksgiving. (1 Tim. 4:1-3)

I have noticed many times that people sympathize with those who do not marry, especially women who remain unmarried. And that's not right. Some of the women who were not wanted for marriage carry bitterness in their hearts towards God because they did not get married. It's not good like that. Everyone should understand that just as it is a gift and blessing from God to enter into marriage, so it is a gift and blessing from God to remain outside of marriage and serve God without worries and with all the heart. Only in this way, in service and complete worship of God, can one experience the true happiness of an illegitimate person. And those who are married should be careful about how they speak in the presence of those who are not married and what their views on marriage are. May God help us to serve the Lord with all devotion and may those who are married not interfere with each other in their service, but on the contrary, may they help and support each other.

I recently had the opportunity to visit the “Faith comes by hearing” mission in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was very impressed by the work of this mission, which produced audio materials for people who do not yet have a written Bible in their own language, and especially for those who cannot read.

This mission began its existence on the initiative of one man, who, together with his wife, decided to sell their property and buy a bus, so that they could then travel from place to place preaching the Gospel. Thus, they began to serve together with their children. The initiative was the husband's, but how could he perform such a service if he had a wife who loved comfort more than God? It was only because they both had the same devoted hearts for Christ and the Gospel that the Lord used them in a wonderful way and many, many people heard the message of salvation through the work they did.

On this occasion, I would like to ask you, how is your marriage? Has he made you more effective for the gospel, or has he made you unfruitful? Why? Is it because you love comfort more than serving God?

This is a good reason for those who are not yet married to think about the importance of marrying only someone who loves God with all their hearts and who is willing to make a complete sacrifice for the gospel. May God help you.

Need and sorrow

In the context of the persecutions of those times, the apostle wrote:

“Due to real need , I recognize for the best that it is good for a person to remain like this. Are you connected to your wife? don't look for a divorce. Are you left without a wife? don't look for a wife. However, even if you get married, you will not sin; and if the girl marries, she will not sin. But such will have tribulations according to the flesh ; and I feel sorry for you.” (1 Corinthians 7:26-28)

The tribulations associated with the problems of those times would have affected those who were married more strongly, and the apostle wanted to protect them by saying that it was better not to marry.

Thebe

“I present to you Phoebe, our sister, deaconess of the Church of Cenchrea. Receive her for the Lord, as is fitting for saints, and help her whatever she needs from you, for she has been a help to many and to myself” (Rom. 16:1-2).

Who was this Thebe? Why was she so famous, and why did the Apostle Paul himself treat her with respect?

The Greek word translated “present” means “to stand next to someone,” “to stand behind someone.” To say this word in relation to a person meant to give him the best recommendation. This phrase can also be translated as follows: “I stand behind Sister Thebe and give her the best recommendation that can be given.”

He respected her, valued her and called her his assistant. He trusted her so much that, having written the Epistle to the Romans, he did not send it with a man, but instructed Thebes to deliver the letter to its destination - to the Roman Church. There is also a theory that for some time Thebes was the pastor of the Apostle Paul himself.

The meaning of Thebe's name - "bright, shining" - indicates that she was a shining example of what a Christian woman should be.

Paul also calls her sister. And this indicates that she was part of his circle of close friends.

And he also calls her a deaconess. We also find the word “deaconess” in the book of Acts, chapter 6, where it talks about how the first deacons were elected. Then only men became them. Now we see that in the Cenchrean Church the deacon's office was assigned to a woman.

The city of Cenchrea was an eastern port, located near Corinth. This was a very influential area, so what happened in the churches in that area spread to other churches. And in this influential church, a woman named Thebe played an important role. If there was one female deaconess, then it can be assumed that there were other women who served as deaconesses. And this is surprising, since men dominated in that area, while women occupied a low position.

There were many harlots in Corinth, and men viewed women as things that could be used and thrown away as unnecessary. And the fact that Thebe was respected in that region indicated that women had freedom and the lack of rights began to disappear. The fact that Phoebe was a deaconess further confirms the truth that in Jesus Christ there is no difference between male and female.

The Greek word translated “accept” means “accept without question.” Paul's opinion of Thebe was so high and he believed in her so much that he wrote: “Accept her and ask no questions. If I respect her, then you should too.” It doesn't sound like a man who is against women, does it?

The Greek word translated “help” means “to stand near someone,” “to be close to someone.” Let's paraphrase this fragment of his letter: “This woman needs your support and help. Accept her and support her as best you can.” And then he writes something generally astonishing: “...what will she need from you...”. “Need” is not an accurate translation. The New Testament in Greek says that if “she has any business with you...”. That is, Paul wrote: “Help her in any matter that she will do while she is with you.”

“For she too was a helper...” The word "helper" at that time was used to describe a person who helped people from another country. Perhaps Thebe provided assistance to missionaries whose path ran through their region.

To serve the Lord without worries or distractions

This is another reason for someone to remain single, and the apostle Paul describes it as follows:

“And I want you to be without worries. An unmarried man cares about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord; But a married man worries about worldly things, how to please his wife. There is a difference between a married woman and a girl: an unmarried woman cares about the Lord, how to please the Lord, in order to be holy in both body and spirit; but a married woman worries about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put bonds on you, but so that you serve the Lord decently and continually without distraction.” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

And the last reason...

To be more blessed

This is what the Apostle Paul says at the conclusion of chapter seven, considering the situation of Christian widows who have the opportunity to marry:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord. But she will be happier if she remains like this, according to my advice ; but I think that I also have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:39-40)

Marriage or celibacy is not a condition of salvation or a sign of a person's spirituality. The Apostle Paul also denounced heretics who hindered marriage with their destructive heresies. In 1 Timothy the apostle wrote:

“The Spirit clearly says that in the last times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and teachings of demons, through the hypocrisy of liars, having their consciences seared, forbidding marriage and eating what God created so that those who are faithful and know the truth ate with thanksgiving." (1 Timothy 4:1-3)

I have seen many times how people tend to sympathize with those who do not marry, especially women who do not marry. It is not right. And some women who have not been proposed to retain bitterness in their hearts toward God for remaining unmarried. This is not good. Everyone should understand that just as marriage is a gift and blessing from God, celibacy is a gift and blessing from God when you can serve God without worries and fully. Only in this way, in full service and worship of God, can an unmarried person experience true happiness. And those who are married should be careful about how they speak in the presence of unmarried people, and how they express their opinions about marriage. May God help us all to serve the Lord with dedication, and for those who are married not to distract each other from serving, but, on the contrary, to help and support.

I recently had the opportunity to visit Faith Comes By Hearing in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I have been very impressed with the ministry of this mission producing audio materials for peoples who do not yet have a Bible printed in their language, especially for those who cannot read.

This mission began its activities on the initiative of a man who, together with his wife, decided to sell his fortune and buy a bus, so that he could then travel from place to place and preach the Gospel. So they went and served together with the children. The initiative belonged to the husband, but how could he carry out such a ministry if his wife loved comfort more than God? It was because the hearts of both were so dedicated to Christ and the gospel that God was able to use them in miraculous ways, and many, many people heard the message of salvation through the ministry they carried out.

In this context, I want to ask you, what is your marriage like? Has it made you more effective in the gospel, or has it made you unfruitful? Why? Is it because you are someone who loves comfort more than God?

This is also an opportunity for singles to reflect on the importance of marrying only someone who loves God with all their heart and is willing to sacrifice everything for the gospel. May God help us with this!

Translation - Elena Stoler