Procedure when a person dies

The tradition of saying goodbye to the deceased is divided into two main categories: the first is religious, taking into account the faith of the deceased, the second is general cultural, which is observed in all countries of the world. For those who are going to a funeral for the first time, or are little familiar with the peculiarities of saying goodbye to the deceased, it will be useful to familiarize yourself with the rules and traditions in order to avoid mistakes. In the Orthodox world, there are general rules for organizing funerals and memorials, as well as rituals of farewell to the deceased.

First steps

The main thing that needs to be done after the death of a person is to call our 24-hour, multi-line number and call an agent - the manager of the city funeral service, who will take on the organization of the funeral and the burden of communicating with all government bodies.

Our agent will call the necessary services and will represent your interests during communication. Will take care of preparing documents and make all necessary trips.

One of the troubles you may encounter is the annoying attention of black funeral directors. Under no circumstances should you succumb to their persuasion and proposals, otherwise you will later bitterly regret it. Such scammers need to firmly state that you have already called a professional funeral service employee.

Cloth

A business suit is most often used. Socks, shoes, and underwear must be new. A small scarf is placed in the chest of the deceased man. A deceased woman is tied with a scarf on her head. However, it is customary for people belonging to the military sphere to be buried in military uniform.

Lifetime wishes should be fulfilled. As for dentures, if a person wears them constantly, they need to be inserted.

It is customary for a girl who is not married to be buried in a light dress. Thus, an analogy is drawn with the eternal bride. However, a veil and other attributes should not be worn. The exception is wedding rings.

It is strictly forbidden to wear a red suit on the deceased. Otherwise, following the deceased, someone from the family may leave this world. A pectoral cross is worn if the deceased was a believer.

If a person died at home

Most often, death finds people at home: in an apartment, in a country house, etc. Often these are cases of sudden death of a person. With such a development of events, the sequence of actions is of great importance.

The first thing you need to do is call a funeral director. You can do this by contacting the city funeral service by phone. When talking with the service manager, be sure to write down the contact information of the person who will be entrusted with the work of preparing the funeral.
The funeral agent must arrive on site as quickly as possible. Upon his arrival, the information from his documents should be compared with the recorded data. This will help make sure that the person arriving is a representative of a professional funeral service, and not a black agent.
After waiting for the agent, you should call representatives of government services: police and ambulance officers. The ambulance must record the death of a person, and the police must confirm that the body does not show signs of violent death. Before the arrival of employees, you need to prepare documents: the passport and medical insurance of the deceased, as well as the passports of those in the apartment.

A common problem that relatives of the deceased may face is the safety of the body until doctors arrive. To stop the decomposition processes, it is necessary to reduce the air temperature in the room where it is kept:

reduce or turn off the central heating radiators;
open the windows;
move your body away from heat sources.

Before doctors and police arrive, it is recommended to cover the body of the deceased with a white sheet.

How to cope with the death of a loved one

It may sound trivial, but only by turning to God in prayer does a person gain the strength to survive a loss. Then you understand that the soul of the deceased will have to meet with God to decide his posthumous fate. And you realize that he needs our funeral prayer for him much more than tears. By sincerely praying for the deceased, we provide him with an invaluable service, thereby forgetting about our grief.

“We cannot do anything better or more for the departed than to pray for them, remembering them at the Liturgy. They always need this, especially in those forty days when the soul of the deceased follows the path to eternal settlements. The body then feels nothing: it does not see the gathered loved ones, does not smell the smell of flowers, does not hear funeral speeches. But the soul feels the prayers offered for it, is grateful to those who offer them, and is spiritually close to them” (St. John (Maximovich)).

Support from loved ones

The help and support of family and caring people is also important. Formal words that have no real meaning will not help. Empty phrases like “time heals,” “it’s hard for everyone,” “you’ll still get married, give birth to a child, and so on.” It is much more valuable to show active participation and be there when required. Be sure to pray together for the repose of the soul and pray for the person himself.

Most often, live participation and presence are more necessary in the period after the funeral. After all, the fuss and organization of the funeral dulls the severity of grief. And then the person is left alone with his grief and outside support is needed. It is at this moment that the question of how to survive the death of a loved one becomes especially acute.

Archpriest Dimitry Smirnov to the question: “how to survive the death of your husband?” answered:

“The man was cut in half. You can then ask: “How are you feeling?” I feel like I’ve been cut in half. This is a very difficult situation. One parishioner of our church, after being widowed, took a year and a half to come to her senses! Women often come to me whose grief over a loss continues for five or eight years. The grief, of course, is dulled, but... What can you do? To avoid such acuteness from parting, you need to pray very intensely for the repose of the soul, and then the wife’s soul will feel that the husband’s soul perceives this... You also need to take communion more often and after communion turn your prayer to God that the Lord will give you to bear this cross - because that if this is allowed, it means that for some reason God needs it this way. Otherwise they would live happily ever after and die on the same day.”

If a person died in hospital

The second most common place for people to die is a specialized medical facility. The procedure in this case is almost identical to the situation when a person passes away at home.

The first step is to call the ritual agent of the city service.
After checking the agent’s documents, you need to go with him to the morgue where the body of the deceased is stored. Sometimes it can be located at the medical institution itself, but more often the bodies are delivered to separate morgues.
Upon arrival at the place, you should, with the help of a funeral agent, issue a death certificate and a certificate from the morgue.

What to say to a dying person?

Everyone knows that talking to a person who is leaving for another world is very difficult. And not only because he is suffering, but also because it is very difficult to find the right words.

If you have to go through a similar test, use the following:

Be honest, sincere and tactful. Don't think about words, think about the emotional needs of the patient. You may be able to talk honestly about your feelings and share love with each other.
If the dying person does not want to talk about death, do not remind him about it.
Offer to help, such as reading a book, giving a massage, or bringing food. If he refuses, don't remind him of it again.
Don't be intrusive, you'll only ruin everything.
Don't talk about painful topics. Remember - excessive frankness can only add to a person’s suffering.
You should not share your pain with a dying person. This will only make it worse for both you and him.
Don't be shy about making eye contact and don't talk too much.
If the patient wants to talk, listen carefully. He may want to remember the past or discuss a recent event.
Sometimes people in this state talk about death. Don’t resist this, don’t be a hypocrite and pretend that everything is fine.
If the patient is aware of his condition, there is no need to wish him a speedy recovery and run away with the fact that he will soon get better.

Attention! The most important thing is to let the person feel your sincere love and compassion.

Watch the video in which Archpriest Andrei Tkachev tells what to say to a dying person:

If a relative dies

In the event of a person’s death, his relatives have the right to apply for a funeral benefit. If the deceased was not a pensioner, a minor or a military serviceman, relatives should contact the Moscow Department of Social Protection of the Population.

Relatives of a deceased person are entitled to a funeral benefit. In Moscow, for employed deceased persons, its amount is 5,701 rubles, for unemployed persons - 16,946 rubles. You can apply for benefits within 6 months after the death of a relative. However, it is better to do this right away - with this money you can cover part of the funeral costs.

The Trust funeral service will provide a full consultation on cash payments due to the relatives of the deceased and will help collect the necessary documents. For consultation, contact our company

Funeral prayers

Prayer to the Lord God for a deceased Christian

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession.
Be merciful to him, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You give generous rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer for everyone who has died

Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternally departed servant, our brother (name), as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him from eternal torment and the fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, faith, and the Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity is Orthodox even until his last breath of confession.
Be merciful to him, and have faith in You instead of deeds, and rest with Your saints as You are Generous: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your truth is the truth forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory, to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

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If a pensioner dies

If the deceased was a pensioner, his relatives should contact the branch of the Pension Fund of the Russian Federation. Relatives of a deceased pensioner are entitled to a burial allowance (5,701 rubles), as well as an additional payment in the amount of 11,000 rubles. The deadline for applying for benefits is 6 months after the date of death.

The Trust funeral service will provide a full consultation and help the relative of a deceased pensioner receive payments. You can contact us by phone 8 (495) 128-30-45

When the soul finally leaves our world

After 40 days, the soul says goodbye to our world and rushes to the Lord. The deceased is accountable to the Creator for the life lived on earth. It is believed that the more prayers were read before the 40th day, the better the fate of the deceased will be after a conversation with God.

On the date when the deceased leaves the earthly plane, it is necessary:

order a memorial service or magpie in the church;
light a candle for repose in the church;
visit the cemetery with flowers taken in pairs;
light a lamp on the grave;
give alms in memory of the deceased.

With the onset of the 40th day, you should remember only positive things about the deceased, praising him for the best deeds. On this day, read special prayers several times, in which you ask the Lord to forgive the sins of the deceased.

What not to do when a person dies

Many people, under the influence of the blows of fate, tend to show excessive gullibility. This condition of the relatives of the deceased is often taken advantage of by a special type of scammers - black ritual agents. Using informal channels, they learn about the grief that has come to the family and impose their services. Remember that turning to black agents can not only increase the funeral cost several times, but also disrupt the burial itself. Often, scammers simply disappear with the money on the day of the funeral, and the relatives of the deceased have to reschedule the funeral and spend the money again.

Here are some tips to help you avoid such unpleasant situations:

You should not answer calls from unfamiliar numbers or engage in conversations with such callers;
you cannot talk to outside funeral directors, they will play on your feelings in order to obtain maximum profits;
You should not let suspicious people into your house, car or other place.

Know that black agents have no concepts of conscience and honor. These people are aimed at getting easy income if circumstances are successful.

Remember that your loved one deserves to have a dignified send-off. Therefore, to organize a funeral, you need to choose our official city funeral service; you can sign an agreement for services only with our agent, whom you called by phone.

If an Orthodox Christian dies

If the deceased during his lifetime adhered to the Orthodox religion and observed church canons, then it is more correct to conduct him on his last journey in compliance with all religious norms. Burial according to the Orthodox canon consists of the following stages:

preparing the dying person for departure from life;
preparations for burial;
committing the body to the earth;
commemoration of the deceased.

Ideally, the dying person should undergo the sacraments of confession, communion and unction; this is how the soul of the dying person prepares to appear before the Judgment of God. However, it is not always possible to undergo these sacraments for one reason or another.

After death, the body of the deceased must be washed while reading the Trisagion prayer. After this, the deceased is dressed in funeral clothes and covered with a shroud, then psalms or other prayers are read.

The funeral takes place on the third day after death. The coffin with the body of the deceased is brought to the temple, where the clergyman reads the funeral service over it (Dead Sequence). After this, the body is taken to the cemetery.

Before the burial, the priest reads the litany again over the coffin with the body of the deceased. After this, the lid is nailed to the coffin and it is buried. An Orthodox cross is placed over the grave.

Commemoration of the deceased is carried out three times: on the day of burial, on the 9th and 40th days after the day of death.

What do Muslims do when a person dies?

Burial traditions in Islam differ significantly from Christian ones. Immediately after the death of a person, a complete washing of his body is carried out. Ablution is the most important part of the funeral ritual for practicing Muslims; it involves 4 people of the same gender as the deceased. To do this, the body is placed with its head towards Mecca. First, minor ablution is performed (face, hands, feet and ankles), then the rest of the body is washed. It is impossible to turn the deceased onto his stomach, so to wash the back, the body is supported in weight. After washing, it is dressed in a funeral shroud.

The burial of a deceased Muslim always takes place on the day of death. The body is taken to the mosque on a special stretcher, but is not brought inside. The body on a stretcher is placed on the street near the walls of the mosque facing Mecca, after which the imam performs a special prayer. Janaza prayer is a funeral prayer said by all people accompanying the deceased on his last journey. Without saying the words of this prayer, the funeral is considered unrighteous.

After prayer, the body is taken to the cemetery. Followers of Islam are buried in Muslim cemeteries or in separate plots for Muslims in regular cemeteries. The graves are also different - they have a special side niche (lyakhad) in which the body of the deceased is placed. It is located on the side, the face should be turned towards Mecca. The niche itself is covered with unbaked brick, after which the grave is covered with earth.

How to say goodbye to an atheist (non-believer during life)

The ceremony of farewell to an unbeliever is no different from the Orthodox one. They also order a priest for the funeral service, put on a cross and put an icon in his hands. Candles are always lit at home, and lamps are lit in the cemetery. The only thing that is not carried out is communion and unction before death. After the funeral or cremation, a memorial dinner is held, where all the closest people gather and remember the deceased with kind words. For non-believers, funerals are also held on the 9th and 40th day after death, as well as on six months and on the anniversary.

Where to go and call if a person has died?

City Funeral Service is a professional in organizing funerals and farewell ceremonies. We have conducted a large number of funerals of various religious canons, the number of participants. The accumulated experience allows us to fully cope with funerals and farewell ceremonies of any complexity. Our funeral agents include the best specialists in Moscow and the region in their field.

By contacting us, you will protect yourself from black agents, fraudulent schemes and unforeseen difficulties that you may encounter when organizing a funeral. We will completely take care of delivering the body to the morgue, collecting and receiving documents, helping to process payments due to relatives, selecting a cemetery and method of burial, offering a huge range of funeral accessories, organizing funerals and related mourning ceremonies.

Our funeral agents begin working immediately after your call. You can contact us 24 hours a day by calling 8

The deceased should not be left alone in the room

This applies to the situation when the body is at home before burial, and not in the morgue. There must be someone next to the coffin day and night as a sign of respect for the deceased. Priests recommend reading certain prayers to spiritually support the deceased.

According to human physiology, even after death, his eyes can accidentally open, and then the belief warns. The deceased will take whoever his gaze is directed to with him. But if someone is next to him and closes his eyes in time, he will thereby avert trouble. And to avoid opening the eyes, small objects, for example, small coins, are also placed on them.

Another reason why you should not leave a deceased person alone in a room is ill-wishers who may put something in the coffin that will prevent the soul from leaving our world. Or, conversely, steal some thing belonging to the deceased. For example, magicians use such objects in their spells.

Pets, especially cats, should not be allowed near the deceased.

If one of your pets touches a deceased person, this can spell disaster for the whole family, and to prevent this from happening, you need to wash the animal’s paws and read the necessary prayer.

And also one of the reasons is that it is believed that the devil can appear in the form of a cat and take the soul of the deceased to hell.

And other customs

Immediately after the news of death, all mirrors and other reflective surfaces must be curtained. This is done for several reasons; we have a separate article to learn more about them.
If there is a container of water at home, a knife is lowered into it so that the soul of the deceased does not drink from it.
If something falls from the table at a funeral dinner, you cannot pick it up, because it would be a sin.
It is undesirable to spend the night in a house where a deceased person is lying in a coffin, since in a dream the deceased may appear, frighten, or take him away. It is better to sleep with relatives or friends on difficult nights before a funeral.
Again, if the body is in the house, then you should not lock more than one door (interior and entrance). According to the fact that the soul can freely enter and exit.
You cannot watch TV or listen to music (radio) in the house where the body of the deceased is located. It is also undesirable to talk loudly or swear.
There is an opinion that if a deceased person does not cool down, it means that his soul does not want to leave our world and has unfinished business. In this case, relatives are advised to try to finish what the deceased person did not finish, and also to go to church and read a prayer for the repose.
All objects that were associated with washing the body of the deceased also have power for magicians and sorcerers, who use them for their own selfish purposes. Therefore, it is important to destroy everything - pour out the water in a deserted place, and bury the soap, ropes, etc., away or put it in a coffin during burial.
The deceased should be dressed in clothes of calm tones, preferably dark colors. The red color is special, which symbolizes the flames in the underworld of hell and will be a bad sign.

The energy of death is very strong and requires great respect. If you do not follow all the rituals and signs associated with the departure of a loved one, and also if you do not properly send the deceased off, this can result in the most unexpected consequences. In the end, his spirit sees everything after his death and may become angry with his relatives for their disrespectful attitude towards himself or simply cannot leave without realizing that they said goodbye to him, so it is so important to adhere to what our ancestors came up with and underestimate these traditions .

Rules of conduct in the cemetery during a funeral

It is forbidden for people who have seen the death of a person for the first time to touch the body, this is explained by the fact that the energy of death can negatively affect them. And you should also not allow small children near the coffin; they should not see the deceased, since a child is the purest and brightest person.
At the cemetery, you should restrain yourself from an overabundance of feelings, come to terms with what is happening and simply say goodbye. You especially shouldn’t cry too much over the body of the deceased, this will “flood” his soul.
Relatives can place some personal items of the deceased in the coffin. They say that leaving a handkerchief helps wipe away tears at God's Judgment.
If a widow (widower) remains, then the wedding ring should be removed from the deceased and given to his spouse. If both spouses have already gone to another world, then the rings can be placed in the coffin of the last person to leave.
It is forbidden to kiss the deceased.
It is forbidden to photograph a funeral, as it all has bad energy that will forever remain in the photo.
As for the photographs that are placed in the coffin. You can only include photographs of the deceased himself or his loved ones who have already died, but in no case photographs of living people. Burying a photo of a living person will lead its owner to serious illness and death.