After decades of persecution of Orthodoxy in the USSR, the custom of remembering the dead on Easter has taken root among Russians. On this day, many people go to the cemetery to visit the graves of relatives.
The Orthodox Church does not approve of this custom, because “God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for with Him all are alive” (Luke 20:38). That is why on Easter it is necessary to remember the Holy Resurrection of Christ and share the good news with others. To commemorate all deceased Orthodox Christians, Parents' Day or Parents' Saturday has been established.
The number of parental Saturdays is determined by the number of private parental days
It should be noted that the liturgical charter does not contain private parental days, which exist in the Russian Orthodox Church. Despite the fact that they are not marked as funeral days, they have a similar meaning to the universal parental days. Their roots have a pre-Christian past and there are only three of them:
- Radonitsa, celebrated on Tuesday of St. Thomas Week. The ancient custom of commemorating the dead on this day dates back to the first centuries of Christianity, but is not marked by special adherence in the Charter. Theologians recognize that its basis is the fact that St. Thomas Week also commemorates the descent of Christ into hell. At the same time, from Monday of St. Thomas Week, the Charter allows the beginning of the celebration of forty-day prayers for the dead, since the living rejoice in the good news of the Resurrection with the dead.
- The commemoration of Orthodox soldiers is celebrated on August 29, the day of commemoration of the Beheading of John the Baptist. This day was established by Empress Catherine II by decree in 1796 during the war with the Turks and Poles.
- Demetrius Saturday, celebrated on the Saturday before October 26, the day of St. Demetrius of Thessalonica. This memorial day was established by the noble prince Dmitry Donskoy after the victory in the Battle of Kulikovo in 1380. Later it became a day of remembrance not only for fallen Orthodox soldiers, but also for the memory of all those who died in the faith.
In our time, the Russian Orthodox Church has established a day of remembrance for all those who died during the Great Patriotic War. It is celebrated on May 9. After the Liturgy, a memorial service is served on this day. Special commemoration of all those who died during the years of persecution for faith in Christ is celebrated on the day of remembrance of the new martyrs and confessors of Russia (the first Sunday after January 25).
Funeral in the village cemetery. A. Korzun. 1865 Trinity is one of the national days of remembrance of the dead
It should be noted that the memorial days of the Slavs in the folk calendar do not coincide with “Parents' Saturdays.” This is how people usually celebrate not all memorial days of the church calendar. Usually, Slavic peoples commemorate the memory of “parents” before major holidays: Maslenitsa, Trinity, Intercession and St. Demetrius Day.
In Polesie, they are added to St. Michael's Saturday, which takes place before the day of the Archangel Michael on November 8 and is considered a memorial day for the entire Bulgarian Church. Common memorial days of the Eastern Slavs can be considered: Radonitsa, Trinity and Demetrius Saturday.
Radonitsa
Radonitsa, or Radunitsa, is one of the days of special remembrance of the dead, which falls on the Tuesday after St. Thomas week (the second week after Easter). On Thomas Sunday, Christians remember how the resurrected Jesus Christ descended into hell and defeated death, and Radonitsa, directly associated with this day, also tells us about victory over death.
On Radonitsa, according to tradition, Orthodox Christians go to the cemetery, and there, at the graves of their relatives and friends, they glorify the Risen Christ. Radonitsa, in fact, is called so precisely from the word “joy”, the joyful news of the Resurrection of Christ
On Parent's Saturday they receive communion and accept any food for illumination.
Since the folk ritual of commemorating the dead has pagan features, many people often ask rather strange questions in connection with the church commemoration of the dead. A popular question among them is: is communion given on Parents’ Saturday?
The answer to it is obvious, because full commemoration of the departed will be only when we demonstrate and testify to our unity as members of the Church by taking part in the liturgy, in the sacrament of the Eucharist - that is, we partake of the Body and Blood of Christ. Thus, on the day of remembrance it is necessary not only to confess and pray, but also to receive communion.
Communion on Ecumenical Parental Saturday in the Church of St. Cyril and Mary of Radonezh. On Parents' Saturday it is necessary not only to pray for the departed, but also to confess and receive communion
In addition, they also often ask: is it possible to work on this day? The priest usually responds to this by saying that it is not prohibited to work, but it is imperative to attend church.
On parental Saturday, the liturgical day begins in the evening, so funeral services often begin in the evening of the previous day. The most important commemoration is at the Liturgy (usually served in the morning).
It is also worth noting that for the dead, their commemoration in the temple is more important. Therefore, graves should be visited only after the service. Here Christians perform commemoration in a secular manner or invite a priest.
Requiem service on Ecumenical Parental Saturday in the Church of St. Cyril and Mary of Radonezh. For the deceased, it is more important to commemorate them in church, so on Parents’ Saturday it is necessary to attend a memorial service for them
When deciding what to bring to church on this day, it is necessary to remember that initially food was brought to the temple in order to have a joint memorial meal there. Nowadays, on the eve of Parents' Saturday, you should not bring food to the temple, since simply no one will eat it.
Now the food that believers bring and place on a special table then goes to the needs of the parish and to help the poor people whom the parish cares for.
What to bring to church for a funeral service
A memorial service is a process carried out on the day of the funeral, on the third, ninth and fortieth days. It is celebrated on the birthday, anniversary and name day of the deceased.
Funeral products should be placed on the funeral table. These include the following offerings:
- various bakery products;
- flour, cereals, vegetable oil;
- tea, juices;
- canned food;
- Cahors;
- jelly.
The most common dish is kutia. Traditionally it is made from wheat and honey, however, recently its main ingredients are rice and raisins.
What not to bring:
- meat and meat products;
- expired products;
- strong alcohol (only Cahors is allowed).
Products brought to church for a memorial service are a gift to God, so you should approach this issue responsibly.
Parents' Saturdays in 2021 are celebrated in accordance with the church calendar
In accordance with the calendar approved by the Orthodox Church, parental Saturdays in 2021 fall on the following days:
- March 2 - Ecumenical (meat-free) Parents' Saturday, commemorating all deceased Orthodox Christians - both parents and relatives, acquaintances, friends.
- March 23, March 30 and April 6 are parental Saturdays of Lent in 2021.
- May 7 is Parents' Day, also known as Radonitsa (the first date of commemoration allowed by the church after Holy and Holy Weeks).
- May 9 is the Day of Remembrance of fallen soldiers during the Great Patriotic War.
- June 15 is Trinity Parents' Saturday, which also has universal significance.
- October 12 – Intercession Parents' Saturday.
- November 2 – Dmitrievskaya (Dimitrievskaya) parents' Saturday.
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Prayer for the departed
Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names) and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.
It is more convenient to read names from a commemoration book - a small book where the names of living and deceased relatives are written down. There is a pious custom of conducting family memorials, reading which both in home prayer and during church services, Orthodox people remember by name many generations of their deceased ancestors.
Prayer for a deceased Christian
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to him, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You give generous rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen
Widower's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him.
You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you have given to me as a helper and companion of my life.
I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people.
Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy.
I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed a crown of stone on her head, crowning her here on earth; Thus crown me with Thy eternal glory in Thy Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them He may forever sing Thy all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Widow's Prayer
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears.
You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine.
Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even to your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Parents' prayer for deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance.
Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child.
Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the keeper of the orphans, the refuge of the grieving and the comforter of the weeping. I come running to you, an orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (my mother), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names) - , and his soul (or: her, or: them), as having gone (or: gone) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept into Your Kingdom of Heaven.
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away (or: taken away, or: taken away) from me, and I ask You not to take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. We know, Lord, that You are the Judge of this world, you punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the unforgettable deceased (unforgettable deceased) for me Thy servant (Thy servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but forgive him (her) all his sins ( her) voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him (her) and eternal save me from torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order him in a place of light, in a place of coolness and in a place of peace, with all the saints, from nowhere all sickness, sorrow and sighing have fled. Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (Your) (name) my warm prayer and give him (her) Your reward for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught (taught) me first of all to lead You, my Lord, in reverently pray to You, trust in You alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his (her) concern for my spiritual progress, for the warmth of his (her) prayer for me before You and for all the gifts he (she) asked me from You, reward him (her) with Your mercy.
Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom. For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen
