Is it possible for a pregnant woman to baptize someone else’s child in church?
Many signs about pregnant women appeared during early Christianity. The expectant mother was protected from the evil eye and carefully hidden from strangers. It was believed that a pregnant woman could be jinxed and the child would be born dead or sick. Therefore, pregnant women were completely forbidden to go to church.
Now these superstitions seem ridiculous. No one forbids the expectant mother to visit temples and participate in church rituals. This has a positive effect on the woman and the fetus in her womb. While still in the womb, the child touches spirituality. It has been proven that an unborn child hears what is happening around. Church prayers and chants will do him good.
A pregnant woman can become a godmother to someone else's child. There are no prohibitions for this. But after the birth of her baby, the godmother may devote little time to her ward. This is the only point that raises doubts. If a pregnant woman sincerely believes in God and spiritually instructs her godson, there are no obstacles to becoming her godmother.
Is it enough to just pray for your godson?
Donnie Ray Jones
— Father Fedor, do you have an example of a real godparent? What kind of person is this?
“I have before my eyes the example of my own godmother. When I was 9 years old, my dad, at the request of friends, helped her move furniture. In her apartment, he saw icons and said: “We are thinking about baptizing our daughter and son, would you like to become a godmother?” At the same time, dad himself was unbaptized, and mom, although she was baptized in childhood, was extremely far from church life. Vera Alekseevna agreed, but made her father promise not to interfere with her fulfilling her duties. Not understanding what he was getting himself into, Dad nodded. And so it began.
Three times a year Vera Alekseevna called and said: “On Sunday I’m taking Anya and Fedya, we’re going to church with them, don’t feed them in the morning.” And she took us to church, and after the service she took out a thermos and sandwiches from her bag and fed us. Did we understand anything then? Hardly. Rather, they whined that standing at work hurt their backs.
My godmother gave me a paper-bound prayer book and emphasized in it the prayers “To the Heavenly King,” “Our Father,” and “Virgin Mother of God.” After a while she asked: “Are you reading your prayers?” I lied that I was reading, although no one prayed at home, and I didn’t do it myself either. But the godmother took the prayer book and said: “You’re lying. If you had read it, the cover would have been wrinkled.” I felt ashamed, and ever since then I have been reading my morning prayers to this day.
It was her firmness that created what I personally perceive as a miracle: my sister and I, children from a family far from the Church, found God, found the meaning around which our lives were built and continue to be built.
As I later found out, Vera Alekseevna, who did not have her own children, had about thirty godchildren. Three became priests, and almost all came to the Church. The godmother organized Christmas and Easter holidays, where they talked about the Church and faith, read poems by Russian poets about God. This was, of course, an amazing apostolic ministry in Soviet times.
Caribbean
- Today, many church people also have 10, 20, 30 godchildren. But due to busyness, it is simply not possible to pay so much attention to their godparents.
- Unfortunately, this is my problem too. Many of my classmates, knowing that I was a priest, asked me to be the godfather of their children. And some of them, despite all my persuasion, did not take their children to church while they were small. And I live far away, and I myself have eight children - I was so busy that I simply could not take care of the godchildren. Of course, I’m just justifying myself now. But in fact, I feel guilty and repent.
— But you probably remember all your godchildren in prayer every day. Or is this not enough?
- Yes, I remember. And of course, do not underestimate the power of prayer. My godfather, a priest, served in Torzhok, so he could not take care of me. And although I believe that I owe my coming to the Church mainly to my godmother, I think his prayers also played a significant role in this. But prayerful work, supported by some kind of action, is certainly better.
Of course, if your godson’s family is a church family, the parents themselves go to church with him, pray, read the Gospel and try to live by it. A lot of my godchildren and goddaughters live in precisely such families, and I pray for them, and my soul does not hurt for them, as it does for children from non-church families. And yet, I would still like to be more involved in the lives of my godchildren.
Common prejudices
Prejudices that prohibit a pregnant woman from baptizing the child of acquaintances or friends are not logically justified. Superstitious people follow old signs. Thus, they offend the expectant mother, denying her the right to become a godmother.
Some are sure that during the sacrament of baptism, a pregnant woman transfers the health and happiness of her unborn child to someone else’s baby. Others say the opposite. The expectant mother as a godmother makes her godson unhappy and sick. Both opinions are wrong. The fate of the child does not in any way depend on the physiological state of the godmother during the church ceremony. This is a pagan superstition, contrary to the canons of Orthodoxy.
Still others believe that a pregnant woman should not go to church, just like on menstruation days. These are completely different physiological states. Menstruation cleanses a woman’s body, preparing it for the possible birth of a new life. Therefore, the church advises staying at home these days. This ban comes from the times of early Christianity, when women were limited in hygiene products. Then, during a long church service, blood could stain clothes and the floor.
Modern arguments
Before inviting a pregnant woman to become a godmother for her baby, church ministers advise taking her thoughts into account:
- A woman who decided to abandon her child after birth in order to send him to an orphanage is not suitable for this role. Such an intention makes the godson dependent and dependent on other people’s opinions.
- If a woman did not plan the pregnancy and intends to get rid of it, she cannot be taken as a godparent. The child will be haunted by misfortunes. The same rule is true for women who have previously had abortions.
- You should not take a girl who has been involved in surrogacy as godparents. This way of making money characterizes her as a mercantile person, which has a bad effect on the spirituality of her godson.
- Church canons prohibit women who have children out of wedlock from participating in the baptismal ceremony. The child will be haunted by failures. To solve problems, he will need the help of outsiders.
- It is forbidden to baptize a woman who is expecting a child from a man who has left his family. Otherwise, the godson will be unhappy in family life or will not marry.
A woman who becomes pregnant through IVF can become a godmother. According to the church, this way of becoming a mother does not deprive her of spirituality. Her sincere desire for motherhood characterizes her as a purposeful and responsible person.
A planned pregnancy that occurs among married spouses has a positive effect on the godmother and her ward. The child grows up responsible and makes independent decisions.
How to refuse a godmother? is it possible?
How to refuse a godmother? is it possible?
What should you do if you quarreled with your godson’s parents and for this reason you can’t see him?
The answer suggests itself: make peace with the godson’s parents. For what can people who have a spiritual relationship and at the same time be at enmity with each other teach a child? It is worth thinking not about personal ambitions, but about raising a child and, having patience and humility, try to improve relations with the godson’s parents. The same can be advised to the child’s parents.
But a quarrel is not always the reason why a godfather cannot see his godson for a long time.
What to do if, due to objective reasons, you have not seen your godson for years?
I think that the objective reasons are the physical separation of the godfather from the godson. This is possible if the parents and the child moved to another city or country. In this case, all that remains is to pray for the godson and, if possible, communicate with him using all available means of communication.
Unfortunately, some godparents, having baptized the baby, completely forget about their immediate responsibilities. Sometimes the reason for this is not only the recipient’s elementary ignorance of his duties, but his falling into grave sins, which make their own spiritual life very difficult. Then the child’s parents involuntarily have a completely legitimate question:
Is it possible to abandon godparents who do not fulfill their duties, who have fallen into serious sins or who lead an immoral lifestyle?
The Orthodox Church does not know the rite of renunciation of godparents. But parents can find an adult who, without being the actual recipient of the font, would help in the spiritual education of the child. At the same time, he cannot be considered a godfather.
But having such an assistant is better than depriving a child of communication with a spiritual mentor and friend. After all, a moment may come when a child begins to look for spiritual authority not only in the family, but also outside it. And at this moment such an assistant would be very useful. And as the child grows up, you can teach him to pray for his godfather. After all, the spiritual connection of a child with the person who received him from the font will not be severed if he takes responsibility for a person who himself could not cope with this responsibility. It happens that children surpass their parents and mentors in prayer and piety.
Praying for someone who is sinning or lost will be a manifestation of love for that person. It is not without reason that the Apostle James says in his letter to Christians: “Pray for one another so that you may be healed; the fervent prayer of the righteous can accomplish much” (James 5:16). But all these actions must be coordinated with your confessor and receive a blessing for them.
Here’s another interesting question that people periodically ask:
When is there no need for godparents?
There is always a need for godparents. Especially for children. But not every adult baptized can boast of a good knowledge of the Holy Scriptures and church canons. If necessary, an adult can be baptized without godparents, because he has conscious faith in God and is quite capable of independently pronouncing the words of renunciation of Satan, uniting with Christ and reading the Creed. He is fully aware of his actions. The same cannot be said for babies and small children. Their godparents do all this for them. But, in case of extreme need, you can baptize a child without godparents. Such a need, undoubtedly, can be the complete absence of worthy godparents.
SOURCE: Orthodoxy and Peace https://www.pravmir.ru/tainstvo-kreshheniya-otvety-na-voprosy-chitatelej/
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The opinion of the clergy
The Church approves the participation of pregnant women in the sacrament of baptism. There are no rules in the Orthodox canons that would prohibit doing this. Any clergyman will bless a pregnant woman who decides to become a godmother. The priest will explain the intricacies of the ritual and the procedure. He will advise what prayers the woman should read the day before.
There is no need to seek clarification from old women who often attend church or work in shops near the temple.
During the conversation, the church minister will warn the woman about the responsibilities that participation in the baptism of the child imposes on her. She will have to answer to the Lord for the spirituality of her ward. It is the godmother who instructs on the righteous path and gives the necessary advice. In the event of the death of the godson's parents, she must take over their responsibilities.
