Under the shadow of Otrada, or Where abandoned children find shelter
After reading an interview in MK about the orphanage of the St. Nicholas Chernoostrovsky Monastery with Regina Shams, I wanted to see everything with my own eyes. Is it really true, as Regina claims, that children here are underfed, severely punished and forbidden to communicate with their parents? After all, if this is true, then why don’t the relevant authorities carry out checks? Why don’t children’s ombudsmen try to get to the bottom of the truth and protect the residents of the Otrada shelter? And if all this is just journalistic fiction, then what in reality caused the resentment of the former resident of the monastery, who left the monastery nine years ago, but for some reason only now decided to share her memories with the press?
The words “monastery orphanage” usually conjure up sad pictures in the style of Dickens in the imagination of the average person: serious children with sad eyes in torn clothes, ascetic-looking classrooms and bedrooms, meager food on children’s plates...
But what do you, reader, really know about monastic shelters? Where did these images come from in your imagination? Perhaps thanks to the sensational story about the shelter in Bogolyubovo and even a couple of horror stories that have flashed in the press lately. And now, on a silver platter, we are served the heartbreaking narrative of Regina Shams, who added another fifty shades of gray to the already meager palette of descriptions of monastery shelters.
There is no positivity at all. I wonder why? Is it possible that an orphanage by definition cannot be good, regardless of whether it is a monastery or not? Do we simply not have good orphanages? And then this is a real problem, especially if we remember the call of government officials, even in difficult life circumstances, not to kill unborn children, but to give the child the opportunity to be born and allow society to take care of his life.
...On the way to the Maloyaroslavl St. Nicholas Monastery of the Kaluga diocese, we recalled the historical events associated with these places. How in October 1812 a battle took place under the walls of the monastery, which lasted 18 hours and decided the fate of Russia. It was after the battle of Maloyaroslavets that Napoleon decided to retreat. As the legend says, the defeated French saw the image of the Mother of God in the air.
But even earlier, in 1480, there was the famous “Standing on the Ugra”, after which Khan Akhmat unexpectedly withdrew his hordes, which had many times superiority over the Russian army. As contemporaries believed, the reason for this was also the intercession of the Most Holy Theotokos.
The monastery is historically connected with the nearby Optina Monastery, and in its recent history it has gained strong spiritual support from the brethren of Holy Mount Athos.
It is known about the Otrada shelter, created at the monastery in 1995, that it became one of the first monastic shelters in the modern history of the Russian Orthodox Church. The nuns accepted into their family orphans with living parents, whose fathers and mothers suffered from alcohol and drug addiction. Girls with difficult fates and severe mental trauma were brought here. Here they found caring treatment, received education, and treatment. But most importantly, the sisters sought to instill in them a living faith in God and love for Him.
…The road, bathed in bright winter sun, leads us to a monastery stunning in its architectural grandeur. Our acquaintance with the orphanage begins with churches and shrines, then smoothly moves on to a story about the monastic way of life and the obediences of the sisters, one of which is the “Otrada” orphanage for girls.
In the corridor, journalists from Moscow are met by girls about eight years old. Elegant burgundy dresses below the knees, white embroidered collars, long hair neatly braided in pigtails. The girls greet us warmly, smile and willingly, without embarrassment, communicate with us. We go up to their rooms and find cozy bedrooms, spacious playrooms with beautiful and expensive toys.
While we are waiting for the photographer, whom the sisters introduce in great detail to the various rooms of the shelter, the girls offer to show us a fairy tale. But having learned that we don’t have much time, they offer to listen to a song. I ask about my beloved, and they joyfully sing almost in unison: “Let them run clumsily...” To my favorite hit song, together with the hospitable abbess of the monastery, Abbess Nikolai, we go on an excursion. I try to notice in the children some manifestations of reaction to the strictness of the monastery upbringing, but they seem to simply rejoice at the guests.
We inspect the classrooms and the gym, the infirmary and the refectory, the labor office and the assembly hall... The impression is amazing. Care and attention are felt in every detail: from the equipment of classrooms, the gym and the infirmary to the stylish design of the hall and staircases. And at the same time it’s cozy, like home. It seems that there is not a single corner that its inhabitants have not taken care of. Along the corridor there are photographs of graduates of the orphanage.
“Here is Olya (the names of the orphanage students have been changed. - Author’s note), she graduated from the Academy of Missile Forces, and Ira graduated from the Institute of Military Translators, Anya graduated from St. Tikhon’s, Masha became a mother...” Nikolai’s mother lists, pointing to portraits of beautiful, elegant girls.
– Are there any nuns among them? – I ask with interest. It is clear that if a girl, as a child, saw monastery life from the inside, with its hard work, severity and almost military regime, then, having matured, she can avoid the monastery walls.
“Of the seventy-odd graduates of recent years, only four are nuns,” mother answers. – The rest, mostly, got married, gave birth to children, often get married with us, come for holidays, introduce them to relatives, in a word, they don’t forget.
I ask about how children end up in the orphanage, and ask them to tell us about the fate of the girls. But it’s time for lunch, and mother invites you to the refectory, offering to first have some food and watch the concert, and only then talk about everything. We ask to show the room where children eat. The interior and decoration of the hall are more reminiscent of the atmosphere of the Institute of Noble Maidens. There are white tablecloths on the table, good dishes, cutlery...
“We produce and grow milk, cheese, sour cream, and vegetables ourselves,” the abbess continues her story. – Children eat well, one might say, organic products. But after attacks in the press, our parishioners stop pupils on the street and in church and ask if they have enough food. People even began to refuse the Sunday meal that we offer after the Liturgy to all pilgrims and parishioners, saying that they did not want to overeat the girls. Although we have plenty of food for everyone.
...Then we watch the concert, holding back tears with difficulty. You can immediately see how much has been invested in these children! How could these “potential social outcasts” be brought to the level of professional artists who confidently tour concerts around the world? Beautiful costumes, excellent vocal and choreographic preparation, lovingly selected repertoire...
But the main thing, perhaps, is the faces. The clean and joyful faces of our Russian girls. “This is probably the best sermon of Orthodoxy,” I thought. “You cannot play and it is impossible to fake a peaceful state of mind, the joy of communicating with your mother, sisters and their guests.”
“The children are very worried about all these attacks in the press,” shares Abbess Nikolai. – They write poems to me and my sisters, sincerely trying to express their love to us. Recently, one of our students, Nastya, she is studying at the Faculty of Journalism, attended a master class, which was conducted in Obninsk by one of the leaders of the Higher School of Cinema and Television, the host of the “Vesti” and “Main Stage” programs, Ernest Matskevichyus. After his speech, he invited us to ask him questions. And Nastya asked how to protect a monastery shelter from slander in the era of information wars? What needs to be done so that people know the truth about him? Upon her return, the sisters who traveled with her told how Matskevičius listened attentively to her question, how his expression gradually softened, how sincerely he advised her to master the profession of a journalist and talk more often on radio and television about the life of the monastery and the orphanage. And then he began to say that the main priority in a person’s life is God and how important it is to pray to Him.
“Otrada” is a shelter for social orphans, those who were left orphans with living parents. It is impossible to listen to many of the parents of these beautiful and calm girls without an internal shudder.
– Vera’s father killed her mother when the girl was three years old. When Vera came to us, she undressed the dolls and ripped open their stomachs,” says mother. “Valya was brought to us when she was very young. Her father is a drug dealer, and her mother, being pregnant, came under investigation. Vali's father convinced the unfortunate woman to take the blame on herself, since, due to her pregnancy, she supposedly would not have to serve her sentence. But women giving birth in places of detention are allowed to stay with their children only until they are one and a half years old. Then the babies are taken to the Orphanage, where Valya came to us from. She was so weak, there were no muscles at all on her arms and legs. At the shelter she was massaged, treated, and nursed. And now there she is - running, dancing...
It’s hard to hear about, it’s hard to write about, but it’s even harder to live with. Of course, for many children, psychological trauma remains for years. But should this be surprising?!
Olya's mother left prison when the girl was ten years old. The woman took her out of her care and began to take her with her to dens - she was looking for Ole’s “suitors.” And so that the girl would not be too disgusted, she poured her champagne... Olya came to the orphanage when she was 12 years old.
It’s scary to ask about my parents, but I still ask my mother a question:
– Do you allow parents to meet with their children? Do you send children back to their families if the father or mother expresses a desire to take them away?
“We encourage in every possible way the desire of parents to see their children,” the abbess calmly answers. – Although situations are different. For example, Dasha’s parents are both drug addicts. They divorced a long time ago and now live like strangers. Dad brought Dasha to us because he can’t take care of the child yet. True, he is trying to improve: he rented an apartment next to the monastery and got a job with us. He loves his daughter very much and wants to see her. He has someone to live for. And we strive in every possible way to help the family reunite. Of course, there is no greater happiness for a child than life with a loving mom and dad. But, unfortunately, not all parents want this...
We have two sisters living with us. At one point, they suddenly began to regularly receive letters from their mother, in which she wrote that she loved them very much and wanted to see them. Then we decided to take the girls to their hometown in the summer. Accompanied by one of our sisters, they went by train to the city of V. What a disappointment the girls were when their mother did not come to meet them at the station. Later it turned out that their grandmother wrote letters to them... After some time, we finally persuaded my mother to visit the girls at the orphanage, and she even came to the monastery to do pilgrimage. Alas, after a few days we had to look for the unfortunate mother in all the hot spots of our city. We found her in a homeless shelter and sent her home at the expense of the monastery.
– Your girls look so beautiful and well-groomed. And they’re already adults: no worries, no diapers... Didn’t the mother’s heart tremble?!” – I wonder out loud.
The abbess only sadly throws up her hands - the answer, alas, suggests itself.
– Are there any people who want to adopt girls?
“Of course, there are a lot of people who want to do it.” But you understand: our children are special. The help of a psychologist and participation in the Church Sacraments in their situation are vital for them,” answers Nikolai’s mother. – How many times have our children been returned to us by parents who overestimated their capabilities. But we also pay for the education of children, collect dowries for girls, give them in marriage and even arrange wedding celebrations here. Some were bought apartments - after all, many parents do not have such an opportunity.
And recently, we offered parents who expressed a desire to adopt one of our students a choice: take her now or wait until the girl graduates from college, where we pay for her studies. They agreed to wait and now constantly visit their pet and bring her gifts. The girls are raised in such a way that they can become good housewives, and, of course, childless spouses are happy to welcome into their home those who can take care of them in old age.
There are girls in the shelter who live with their mothers. Although mothers here, I must say, have a special status. The rules in the monastery are such that women who wish to stay in the shelter must learn to treat all children equally. They are specifically warned about this upon admission to Otrada. After all, if you show tender maternal feelings to only one child, then children whose parents cannot or do not want to be with them will acutely feel pain and resentment.
Olga Rybak, a former student of Otrada, and today a public relations specialist at the Center for Orthodox Media of the Russian State Social University, joins our conversation. Olga got married and gave birth to a child. In parallel with his work, he sings in the choir and generally looks like a completely successful and satisfied person with life.
- Olya, where did you find your husband? – my companions ask.
“My husband will be a sexton in the same church where I sing.” Mother blessed me to work there, and I think it was through her prayers that we met. I am very grateful to her for everything, and I don’t know how my life would have turned out if, by God’s grace, I had not ended up in a monastery shelter. Perhaps I wouldn’t even be alive anymore - after all, at some point I simply stopped understanding why I was living at all. No one has ever taken care of me as much as at the shelter. When I got here, I had the feeling that after the world where I lived, I suddenly found myself in a fairy tale.
Of course, the monastery has its own rules, its own strict order, but behind this strictness I always felt great love. And today you sometimes hear from people in the city: “We read this about your monastery...”. “But why don’t you ask me about this? – I’m surprised. “There is an information war going on, and this time our monastery has become another target.” For many of us, the shelter is our home, and we feel that we must protect it. My family and I visit the shelter on all holidays. I will definitely tell my daughter what Otrada means to me. Mother considers us her children, and our children her grandchildren. And for us she is a mother, no matter what they write or say about the monastery.
We listened to the thoughts of the nuns and matured pupils of the orphanage about the causes of the media wars, about whether the Church should participate in them... And the answer suggested itself: the monastery must be protected from slander. And this will be done by those who were brought up here, who received warmth and care, who in their childhood found their only shelter and real home in Otrada, and today, whenever possible, strive to return here to see their family and friends.
This material was first published in MK.RU with the editorial subtitle of the publication “The road to the temple is too long.” The official website of the Synodal Department for Monasteries and Monasticism “Monastic Bulletin” publishes the full version of the article.
Talents from homeless people
The history of the Otrada shelter began along with the history of the women's monastery. In 1991, the buildings of the monastery, which had existed as a monastery since the 16th century, were returned to the Kaluga diocese. Over the 70 years of Soviet power, all that remained of it were ruins. The small monastic brethren dispersed to other monasteries. And in 1993, the monastery was transferred to the status of a women's monastery. Abbess Nikolai ( Lyudmila Dmitrievna Ilyina ), who arrived from the convent in Shamordino (not far from Optina Pustyn) with one old novice, was appointed abbess. Literally a month later the community grew to 50 nuns. And immediately children from disadvantaged families began to appear there. After all, that was the beginning of the 90s - the very peak of economic devastation in the country and, as a consequence, child homelessness and drug addiction. Sister-nuns collected young tramps from basements and garbage dumps. “In Optina Pustyn they always accepted the worst drug addicts for “re-education” through work and prayer,” recalls Abbess Nikolai. — So one such former drug addict said that in St. Petersburg, in her company, who lived in non-residential buildings (then they were called “homeless people”), there were two more girls who dreamed of a normal home. We went to St. Petersburg to rescue them. On the way they ran away from us. We took two girls from Optina Pustyn, they were 16 years old at the time. That’s what their names were - Mashka the Fox and Mashka Piterskaya . One chose monasticism, Mother Olga now. Another got married and is the mother of six children, five of her own and one adopted. He’s coming to visit.”
Now the nuns are raising 50 girls. It would seem that the monastery is a strict and ascetic place. And here is loud laughter, bright children's dresses, roller skates, swings, cozy rooms, none of them like the other. Not a shelter, but a large large family. “They say that children interfere with prayer, but this is not the case with us,” shares the abbess. “And the friendship with Holy Mount Athos began thanks to the children; the monks of Athos were the first to offer help to the orphanage under construction.”
Children of the Otrada monastery shelter during a service at the St. Nicholas Chernoostrovsky convent. Photo: RIA Novosti/Sergey Pyatakov
In addition to lessons in the Orthodox gymnasium, the girls have classes in choreography, painting, sewing, and singing. During the summer holidays - a trip to the sea, to Crimea or Anapa. From 1st grade - compulsory music education. By the way, choral singing is put on a professional basis. The Otrada team regularly travels to children's festivals abroad to present Russian art on instructions from the Ministry of Culture; last year the children visited six countries, the year before - nine. Many graduates of the gymnasium enter the Faculty of Orthodox Journalism of the Russian State University of Social Sciences. “ Natalya Lantratova is very talented, she was a soloist in the choir, she trained as a journalist,” mother Varvara shows me photographs of graduates from different years. — Sashka had a dream - to enter medical school. We dissuaded her - she was not interested in either biology or chemistry. Stubborn, didn't listen to anyone. Didn't arrive. Mother Abbess persuaded her to go to the icon painting department of the art school so as not to lose a year. The teachers then tortured us to find out where we found such a treasure. Several girls entered a military university to become military translators. Agata Gracheva is a flight attendant on international flights.” Over the years, only 4 girls became nuns.
“What is the secret of teaching mastery?” - I ask the abbess. “There is a spark of God in the soul of every person, you just need to open it,” Nikolai’s mother is sure. Elder Paisios also said: everything you want to tell your child, tell God.” It's no use reading lectures, shouting and getting annoyed. I don’t blame girls for failing the Unified State Exam. I was shocked by the story: a boy had a stroke right during the exam. Then I gathered all my graduates and said: “Submit as you wish. Get a bad grade and then retake it.” It's not worth it to suffer like this. These children have already suffered too much.”
