The meaning of 9 days from the date of death for the deceased
It is not given to us to know what feelings the soul experiences when it appears before the Lord, and what happens at that moment.
It is believed that everything depends on the specific person, his sincerity, as well as the number of good and bad deeds. According to Orthodox belief, after meeting the Almighty, the soul will have to undergo a serious test - to visit the underworld. This is a kind of educational tour so that a person can see how sinners live and what torments await him. A sinful soul, passing through different levels of hell, realizes that it has spent its earthly life incorrectly and repents. The chances of salvation increase if she hears the prayers of her family and friends at that moment.
The soul itself awaits ordeal - a test when you will have to answer for all the sins you have committed during your lifetime. If there are more good deeds, she can hope for the mercy and forgiveness of the Lord. The prayers of loved ones will be of support during this difficult period. If you hold a grudge against the deceased, be sure to forgive him in order to give him the opportunity to go to heaven.
Soul in the afterlife
What is prepared for 9 days after death? Before getting acquainted with the culinary traditions of the funeral, it is necessary to understand what the Orthodox commemoration of the deceased is. Man was created by the Lord as a union of a material body and an immortal soul, incomprehensible to our minds. With the death of the body this union disintegrates. The material essence of a person goes into the earth, and the spiritual essence continues to exist in Eternity.
Funeral table
A person is capable of spiritual and moral development only during life. His soul and body at this time are one. The afterlife is a natural outcome of a person’s earthly life. Thus, the righteous find paradise, that is, eternal stay with God. After all, they strove for the Lord and long ago found Him in their hearts. But God cannot forcibly “draw” the souls of unrepentant sinners to himself. This would be a violation of their free will. After all, in their earthly life they did not want to find unity with the Creator. If in earthly life a person chose to serve evil, this will affect the fate of his soul. After death, he continues to be in painful captivity of dark spirits - in hell.
Only the commemoration of living people can alleviate the suffering of an unrepentant soul. It consists of church and home prayers. We also must not forget about the good deeds that are performed to save the deceased. In heaven, souls have varying degrees of closeness to the Almighty. Likewise, in hell, torment is not the same for all sinners. Seeing the love and mercy of living people for the deceased, God helps the suffering soul and can even change its fate. The Monk Paisius the Svyatogorets taught:
“In life, the king’s earthly friend may intercede with him to help some condemned person. Likewise, if a person is a “friend” of God, then he can intercede with his prayer before God” (“Words.” Volume 4).
Basic rules for funerals on the 9th day after death
No one specifically studies the traditions and rituals associated with burial and commemoration, but no one can avoid the fate of burying and commemorating relatives.
- At home or in the place where they plan to hold the funeral, it is necessary to create an appropriate atmosphere. A glass of water is placed on the table, a slice of bread is placed on top and a lamp is lit in memory of the deceased. In the church they light candles for the repose and order a lamp.
- Relatives and close friends gather at the funeral table.
- Women's heads must be covered with scarves. Men, on the contrary, take off their hats.
- As a rule, people come to a wake with flowers, which are laid on the grave of the deceased, but this only applies to those who feel the need for it.
- People are not invited to the funeral dinner; relatives and friends must find out for themselves when, where and what time it will take place.
- The obligatory dishes of the funeral dinner are kutia, pancakes and compotes.
- It is worth remembering that there should be no alcoholic beverages at a dinner held in memory of the deceased.
What does the 9th day of commemoration mean?
The third day is the beginning of the afterlife journey, the fortieth the end, and the ninth is a special stage of the posthumous journey. For three days an angel is with the soul, who on the fourth accompanies it to the gates of heaven. Until the ninth day, the soul is given the opportunity to observe life in the heavenly abode. In nine days, the spirit of a deceased person visits earthly places, finishes what is not completed, asks for forgiveness from someone, says goodbye to someone, and then appears before the Almighty, who sends him to the underworld. The soul must undergo trials that present temptations. If the good spiritual part defeats the evil one, then earthly sins are forgiven at the Last Judgment.
The commemoration begins with a prayer for the funeral for 9 days in the church, where they place a candle for the repose of the soul in a special place for memorial candles in the form of a rectangular platform.
Why the commemoration on day 9: nine days in honor of nine angelic beings who help the transition from earthly life to another world. They also play the role of lawyers at the Last Judgment before the Lord. After the Almighty determines the place, living people are no longer able to help. From this day the ordeal of the soul begins, it sees its good and evil deeds. This lasts until the fortieth day, so at this time they always remember the deceased and turn to the nine angelic beings.
According to Christian teaching, saints are destined for heavenly abode, and sinners are destined for hell. The spirit of the deceased person on the ninth day is still searching for a further path. Therefore, relatives should let her go; they should not cry for the dead. It is believed that this will add to their suffering in the afterlife. But this does not mean forgetting about the pain of loss. You can help with prayers and remembrance.
Also read: Canons before confession and communion
How to properly set a funeral table
The Church does not recommend placing alcoholic drinks on the funeral table, which could cause inappropriate behavior.
Drunkenness is a great sin, and during the funeral dinner, participants ask for forgiveness of the deceased’s sins. The main dish on the funeral table is kutia. Depending on the region, it is prepared from millet, rice, corn or wheat with the addition of honey. This dish is eaten first. Then the liquid is served. It could be borscht or homemade noodles with chicken. For the second course, prepare porridge or mashed potatoes, which is served with fried chicken, cutlet or fish. Cold appetizers can be prepared at your discretion. At the end of the meal, people are given sweet pies or pancakes stuffed with cottage cheese or poppy seeds.
Lunch according to Orthodox traditions
The menu for the 9 days of the funeral directly depends on the availability of fasting during this period. During fasting there is a ban on meat, dairy and fish dishes. It must be remembered that this is not a holiday dinner. The funeral table for 9 days should be modest and preference should be given to homemade dishes:
- For the first table, the best option would be borscht, meat or mushroom in Lent.
- Buckwheat porridge is the most popular side dish. It can be served with or without gravy. You can also use potatoes in different forms.
- A widely popular side dish of cabbage rolls and stuffed peppers, variations of lean cabbage rolls with mushrooms also exist.
- Chops, cutlets, fried fish are always present hot on the funeral table.
- Kutya made from millet, rice with raisins is a mandatory attribute of such a table.
- The funeral ends with serving compote or jelly. For dessert, baked goods and sweets are served, and, if desired, pancakes with sweet filling.
- It is not customary to drink alcoholic drinks when remembering the deceased. Sometimes an exception is made for red church wine Cahors, which is used in small quantities.
Also read: What is sorokoust about health and when is it ordered?
It is customary to distribute the rest of the meal to the poor and needy people.
The Orthodox Church prohibits placing a glass and bread in front of a photograph, or on the table - this is a sign of paganism.
Lunch is not the main attribute of remembering the deceased. Not all people can afford to have a dinner on the 9th day after the deceased. It is acceptable to give people “funeral dinners.” What to distribute for 9 days of commemoration - you need to bake pies or buy cookies and candies in the store. Distribute food to people who will pray for the deceased. It is advisable to distribute it to relatives and friends who are involved in the Orthodox Church and know how to pray for a person who has passed on to another world. It is also customary to distribute candy to children and poor, needy people, thinking to oneself about saving the soul of a deceased person.
Rules of conduct at the cemetery
On the ninth day, there is a tradition of visiting the grave of the deceased. It's better to do this during the day. The person’s resting place is put in order: garbage is removed, fresh flowers are placed. If the weather is calm, you can light a candle or lamp. However, when leaving, do not forget to extinguish it. If the deceased was a believer during his lifetime, then a priest is invited to the cemetery to serve a memorial service at the grave, or they read a prayer for repose on their own.
It is worth remembering that a cemetery is not a suitable place for idle talk. It is better to focus on the memories of the deceased relative and mentally communicate with him.
It is strictly not recommended to take alcohol to the cemetery, much less leave it in a glass at the burial site. It would be more appropriate to take pies and sweets with you. They are distributed to poor people so that they remember the soul of the deceased in their prayers.
What is on the table
The funeral dinner must certainly include traditional kutia - boiled wheat grains with sugar or honey, which must be consecrated in the temple. If this cannot be done, the kutya is sprinkled with holy baptismal water three times.
Since different regions have their own customs, sometimes they prepare rice or corn porridge, garnishing it with raisins; in some places these are pieces of white bread soaked in honey water.
The most common set of dishes is:
Funeral table: borscht; thin pancakes with poppy seeds, cottage cheese, sometimes liver; canapés with sprats; fish appetizers; vinaigrette salads; cutlets or cabbage rolls; boiled potatoes; pies (most often with poppy seeds or apples); drinks: jelly, compote or kvass.
Cookies and sweets are also on display, with which those present came to the funeral.
In general, it is appropriate and even customary to prepare the favorite dishes of the newly deceased. This is also a kind of peculiar kind of memory of him.
It may happen that 9 days fall during the fasting period. Then the entire meat menu should be replaced with fish, and the same cabbage rolls should be prepared with vegetables, with mushrooms instead of meat.
Alcohol can cause behavior inappropriate for the occasion, therefore its presence on the table is categorically not welcomed by the church. We must remember that drunkenness is a great sin, but at funerals, people, on the contrary, pray for forgiveness of all sins.
The question often arises of what should be carried by those going to the 9-day remembrance. Flowers are brought to the grave, and red wine, sweets, and cookies are appropriate for the table. It is acceptable to remember the deceased with three traditional glasses of red wine.
At the table
The meal must begin with prayer. The funeral meal begins with the prayer “Our Father” and ends with it. After this, everyone present puts a couple of spoons of kutya on their plate and eats it before the meal begins.
Those gathered remember the person who has passed away quietly and kindly. There is no need to talk about unseemly actions or not the most pleasant character traits of the deceased.
We are all not angels, just as the deceased was not an angel, and the church does not recommend focusing attention on this, so as not to harm his soul during this crucial period for it.
As mentioned, prayers are read during the meal, therefore the ladies’ heads should be covered with handkerchiefs or scarves, and not necessarily black ones. Only those close to the deceased can have such as a sign of deep mourning. Men, on the contrary, stand in prayer with their heads uncovered.
You should not linger at the table for a long time, so as not to turn the funeral dinner into a banal feast.
It is possible that more dishes were prepared than people came. Then everything that remains should be distributed to those who are poorer, or simply to the poor, asking them to remember the deceased.
Commemoration on the 9th day after departure into another world helps the soul of the deceased to appear before the throne of God with understandable fear and trembling. Accompanied by her guardian angel, she has already become acquainted with heaven, and after a conversation with the Almighty she will go on a further journey - to hell. Her fate has not yet been finally determined, and therefore it is within the power of her friends and relatives to support her with prayers and memories of the good deeds done by the deceased and help her rest in the Kingdom of Heaven.
Rules of behavior in the temple
Orthodox relatives must attend the funeral service, ordered on the ninth day after death.
Those present light candles for peace according to the following rules:
- With a candle, approach the crucifix or icon, in front of which there is a funeral table with a candlestick. Cross yourself.
- They light their own from the candles standing on it. If there are none, light the lamps from the fire. It is better not to use lighters and matches brought with you.
- A lit candle is placed in a free place. To make it stand stable, the bottom edge can be slightly melted.
- Pray to the Lord for the repose of the deceased person, saying his full name.
- After the prayer, they cross themselves, bow and quietly move away from the table.
The candlestick, on which candles are placed for the repose, is located on the left side of the temple. As a rule, it has a rectangular shape. For health they have a round shape.
What items are distributed at wakes for 9 days?
On the ninth day after death, it is customary to order a prayer service in the church, distribute things and food in the church, at the cemetery, at the funeral. There are various signs about alms. Subtleties in the implementation of this Orthodox tradition depend on local customs. In big cities, superstitions and Christian canons are less followed.
Products and food
On the 9th day after death, it is customary to prepare a modest lunch. The main thing is not to indulge in gluttony, but to honor the memory of the deceased and show respect. In Orthodoxy, food is prepared for a funeral dinner taking into account church holidays. Place on the table:
kutya illuminated in the church; soup, borscht or noodles; porridge or potatoes as a side dish; meat, fish funeral dishes; bakery products: pancakes, pies (fried, baked), Easter cakes; dried fruit compote, jelly.
The remaining food after a meal for 9 days is not thrown away, but distributed to guests. There is a sign of feeding birds with food from the funeral table, which will bring prayers for a person to the Lord.
After the death of a person on the 9th day, at the wake it is customary to use sweets, cookies, pies, Easter cakes, boiled eggs, bread, and small money as alms and alms. Items are distributed so that the person who receives them will pray for the deceased.
It should be remembered that alms on memorial days are given to the poor and beggars, acquaintances, relatives, and neighbors.
Among the Slavic peoples, at funerals they bring food to the cemetery, leave cookies and sweets on the grave of the deceased. The Orthodox Church does not prohibit it, but believes that it is better to have a meal outside the cemetery. The brought food for 9 days must be distributed to the poor or people you meet. Leaving such foods on the grave soil is considered a bad omen. The place can endow them with negative energy and cause illness.
Other items
There is a custom to distribute dishes after a funeral dinner for 9 days. According to old signs, alms carry negative energy and attract death to the home of the person who accepted them. Accepting and distributing spoons is not prohibited. The spoon retains the kind words spoken to the deceased during the wake and helps convey them to God.
The dishes on which the food was served are not removed from the table. They hand out not the same items that the guests ate with, but pre-prepared ones: clean, metal or wooden spoons, mugs, cups or glasses.
In some regions, according to Christian traditions, it is customary to distribute textiles. A woman is given a towel or a scarf for her head for 9 days at a wake, a man is given a handkerchief. The gift serves as a memory of the deceased. The older generation adheres to this ritual on the day of the funeral. During the funeral service, they wrap a handkerchief around the candle and wipe away tears.
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Items distributed at wakes vary depending on local rituals. In villages and distant territorial areas, threads, needles, onions, loaves, and pieces of fabric are used for alms.
What do the relatives of the deceased do on the 9th day after death?
Relatives and friends make every effort to help the deceased get to heaven.
It is believed that on the ninth day angels ask for a soul. However, the prayers of the living are no less important. A prayer for the salvation of the soul has true power if it is sincere. A text read formally is unlikely to be of any use.
It is recommended to order a prayer service in the temple on this day and be sure to attend it. If this is not possible, you can pray at home, lighting candles in memory of the deceased.
In addition to prayer, it is useful to give alms in memory of the deceased. This could be clothing, food or cash.
We all, sooner or later, face the loss of loved ones. Everyone wants their soul to rest in a better world. Unfortunately, we cannot decide someone's fate in the afterlife. However, our prayers and alms are taken into account in heaven, and help the soul to rest in a better world.
How to count nine days correctly
Sometimes it is mistakenly believed that the countdown of 9 days begins only after the funeral. In fact, you need to count directly from the date of death, including it . Moreover, the time of death is of great importance. If a person died before lunch, then a wake is held on the eighth day. The main thing is that no more than 9 days have passed since the death. The memorial date does not depend in any way on the day of the funeral. There are situations when the body is not yet buried on the ninth day - for example, due to an investigation into the circumstances of the death. In such cases, it is still necessary to order a memorial service and organize a commemoration in the name of saving the soul of the deceased.
What is necessary
If you decide to order a prayer service in a church, then you should know that it is not customary to come there empty-handed. Often such offerings are considered alms. Most often they bring:
- wine;
- vegetable oil;
- confectionery and bakery products;
- sugar;
- fruits and vegetables;
- cereals;
- eggs.
Meat products are prohibited. Everything should also be fresh. It is mainly customary to commemorate kutya with honey and other sweets.
When is a funeral service ordered? Often this is done on the very day when the date of departure falls. But some people think that it is possible in advance. You shouldn’t do this, because the day before the person was still alive and happy.
