Chastity is virginity, that is, control over sexual desires. There is a second meaning of the word - moral purity. Christianity defines chastity as abstinence not only from premarital sexual contacts, but even from thoughts about it, and in a broader sense - modesty in relationships and in outlook on life. In V. Dahl’s dictionary it is written: “chaste - not only one who preserved virginity before marriage, but also chaste in marital relations, that is, one who remains faithful.”
During the wedding, the priest, reading a prayer, says the following words: “Lord, give them chastity and many children.” A thought-provoking expression, but not about that now.
In everyday life, the word chastity is rarely used, and mainly as a synonym for the word virginity.
A virgin is a girl who does not have sexual intercourse, the anatomical proof of which is the integrity of the hymen.
Meaning of hymen3
There is no exact opinion about the significance of this organ, there are only assumptions. The most common and plausible one is the protective function. Until the hormonal background is formed, the hymen is a kind of barrier to pathogenic microflora.
An unusual hypothesis was put forward by Russian biologist, Nobel Prize winner I. Mechnikov. Previously, people got married early, almost in childhood. The boy's penis was not yet sufficiently developed. The presence of a hymen contributed to pleasure by adapting the vagina to the size of the penis. The penis grew, and the hymen stretched, and at a certain time it ruptured.
Defloration process4
Defloration means breaking the integrity of the hymen. This usually happens during the first sexual intercourse. Defloration is divided into complete and incomplete. Hymenal ruptures can be either single or multiple.
In most cases, defloration is accompanied by bleeding. The amount of blood depends on the structural features of the hymen. If it is thin, then the bleeding is not severe, the pain is barely noticeable. With a thick hymen, bleeding can be quite profuse and last 2-3 days, and the pain is more pronounced. Defloration occurs without pain and blood, and this is a normal option.
After the age of twenty, changes are observed in the tissues of the hymen, the number of elastic fibers decreases, so defloration at this age may be accompanied by greater blood loss and severe pain.
In the hymen itself after defloration, hemorrhages of a dark red or red-violet color are visible, and traumatic edema is present. All phenomena usually disappear within 1-2 weeks.
During this period, a woman needs to pay especially close attention to genital hygiene.
Although rare, it does happen. If problems arise with defloration, the best solution would be to contact a medical facility. Providing assistance will take several minutes, while inept or too persistent attempts by a man can lead to injury to the woman’s genitals.
Defloration is an important milestone in a girl's life. This is a milestone, after crossing which she becomes a woman and enters a new, adult life. The moment of defloration is remembered for a lifetime. And not only for the girl, but also for the male deflorator. Therefore, each of them experiences understandable excitement: the girl - because of the fear of the unknown, the guy - because of responsibility.
What can be done so that the girl’s first sexual experience does not bring disappointment, and the man turns out to be on top?
Advice from experienced people5
- The girl’s psychological attitude is important, and sensitivity and attention are required from her chosen one.
- The environment should be comfortable, nervousness and haste are unacceptable.
- Foreplay is necessary. Everything will go much easier if the girl is quite excited. In this state, endorphins begin to enter the blood. These hormones can not only lift your mood, but also have some analgesic effect.
- During the first sexual intercourse, a girl may have insufficient secretion of natural lubrication, so it is advisable to use a lubricant.
- Defloration should take place in a lying position. It wouldn't hurt to put a small pillow under the girl's hips.
- The best option for contraception is a condom.
- If it doesn't work out, don't be upset. You can try again after a few days.
- It will be a big plus for a man if he invites a girl to celebrate an important event - at least with a glass of champagne.
Attitude towards virginity6
Attitudes towards virginity differed among different nations and at different times, sometimes radically. In many cultures, the absence of premarital sexual intercourse was seen as a necessity. Preserving virginity was associated with preserving honor and spiritual purity.
The world has many faces, and in other places on the planet the attitude towards chastity was exactly the opposite. For example, in Polynesia. There, among some nationalities, virginity was not welcomed. It was believed that the more sexual partners a girl has, the better. She is in demand and is in demand among suitors, but a virgin is a virgin because no one needs her.
In some cases, virginity was considered mystical. The cult of the goddess Vesta flourished in ancient Rome. The priestesses of the cult occupied a high position in society. Their main responsibility was to maintain the sacred fire in the temple, as well as sacrifices to the goddess. The Vestals enjoyed universal respect and personal inviolability. They were given generous gifts and paid high salaries. But only virgins had the right to protect the sacred fire, so when entering service, the priestesses took a vow of purity. Violation of the vow was punished extremely severely - by burial alive.
All world religions condemn premarital and extramarital affairs, but bless the family union of a man and a woman.
The meaning of the word "chastity"
In dictionaries
What does this word mean ? In the dictionary of synonyms, chastity corresponds to, for example,
impeccability; sinlessness; innocence; purity; modesty; virginity.
It is also characterized as adherence to strict moral rules.
On Wikipedia
The concept of chastity has two sides . According to Wikipedia this word means:
one of the virtues in Christianity. a human trait related to moral qualities.
In Christianity, the word chastity denotes the purity of a person, which is inherent both in his physical (bodily) nature and in his spiritual and mental qualities. It leads to the absence of vicious tendencies. A chaste person is characterized by purity of thoughts and actions, which are dictated by his inner world, regardless of external negative influences. One of the aspects of chastity is abstinence from intimate relationships outside of marriage, but it cannot be reduced only to such a narrow understanding. The concept of chastity is very close to nobility. Together they can be considered an honor category.
As a concept of moral consciousness, chastity presupposes the presence within a person of a certain strength that helps him resist the knowledge and sensation of aspects of life that can harm his personality.
These aspects of everyday life most often include sexual abstinence:
complete; chastity before marriage; during marriage, but beyond it.
How our ancestors viewed chastity7
Attitudes towards virginity in Russia have changed more than once. During pagan times, the cult of chastity was not widespread in Rus'. Among some peoples inhabiting the country, premarital children even served as an indicator of a woman’s fertility.
Everything changed in the 10th century. The girl’s purity began to be an honor not only for the family, but also for the entire clan. Premarital affairs were rare and strongly condemned. Losing one's virginity was equated with moral failure. Chastity was considered not just a physical state, but purity of the soul, and served as a guarantee of the health of future children.
The Holy Bible gives us a clear understanding of sin and righteousness
Every Christian can repent of his sin of fornication and cleave to the virgin life of a true Christian.
Many people believe that the word “chastity” is perceived as a concept of innocence. But this word describes not just the physiological state of a person, it is much broader. It is simply impossible to understand the meaning of the word chastity without knowledge of religious principles. It is the Bible that gives us a clear understanding of sin and righteousness.
The famous nun Nina defined the word chastity as a kind of holistic attitude to life, which is seasoned with wisdom.
The famous nun Nina defined the word chastity as a kind of holistic attitude to life, which is seasoned with wisdom
Ritual defloration8
In the Middle Ages, in France and a number of other European countries, there was an order in which the feudal lord deprived the bride of her virginity. This order, or rather disorder, was called the “right of the first night.” Historians claim that the feudal lord’s vassals not only were not indignant, but were overjoyed. The essence of the matter is that in those ancient times there was an opinion that defloration could anger higher powers.
Some wealthy lords managed to do good deeds dozens of times in a year, and for some reason the higher powers treated such facts completely calmly. And if the feudal lord was tired or lacked health, then he transferred the honorary position to his son or another relative.
The Scandinavians also had a hard time. It’s good that hermit monks living in the forests came to their aid. They took the bride into the forest. They lit a fire there, sacrificed a wild boar to the deity and, after such a romantic dinner, began sacred intercourse.
If the result was negative, the victim was considered rejected. There were two more attempts left. If they did not bring a positive result, the girl was declared rejected by the deity. The marriage was annulled, the groom was looking for another wife, and the girl was doomed to loneliness.
The Papuans had friends of the groom as assistants. At his request, they stole a potential bride, had sexual intercourse with her, having previously deprived her of her virginity with a stone knife. Then they returned her home. All men living in the village could have intercourse with the newly-made woman. When there were no more people willing, the wedding took place.
In the Marquesas Islands, sexual intercourse with the bride was performed by guests during the wedding feast. Instead of cake. The groom held the bride's head on his knees, and the guests took turns eating.
For a long time, small nationalities living in the regions of the Far North and Siberia had a custom of inviting foreigners as deflorators. There was a big catch here. Locals believed that through the blood of a virgin, ancestors could harm a man. And while the invitee tried to live up to the expectations placed on him, the host squinted slyly: this is what you need, they say.
Nowadays such barbaric methods can no longer be found, except in the most remote corners of the globe, where no civilization has set foot.
Chastity in Rus'
Things were different for our ancestors. From time immemorial, the main quality of a girl and woman in Rus' was her chastity. Our ancestors attached great importance not so much to the external beauty of a girl, but to her modesty, inner purity, purity, hard work - it was these qualities that painted the future wife. When choosing a girl as a wife, first of all they chose the mother of their children, the one who would keep the hearth and organize the space, both material and spiritual. The Mother of God, that is, the one who gave birth to God, was revered more than others. And in every woman they saw her image. Chastity was expressed not only in the presence of virginity before marriage and fidelity to her husband after, but also in behavior in general. That is, behavior should not cause bad thoughts in others, especially lustful ones. For example, they took a woman’s appearance quite seriously. The robe had to be closed, the hair under the headdress. God forbid a woman or girl appear in public with her hair down. This was unacceptable. This is where the expression “goof off” comes from. Zharnikova S. in her book “The Golden Thread” mentioned that it used to be believed that a woman, appearing in public with her hair down, would bring damage to her family. Apparently, this is due to the fact that she can cause envy in other women with her beauty and bad thoughts, and deprive men of peace. In other words, an immodest girl or woman increases negative concentration not only on herself, but also on her family.
From folklore and the works of classics, we know that the “spoiled” girl could not get married and often committed suicide, preferring the life of a mermaid to earthly life in shame and pangs of conscience. According to legend, mermaids, of which there are many, do not represent the deceased souls of girls who committed suicide, but the main reason for such a death was the lost honor in unrequited love. Often these were girls who, in a fit of passion, gave themselves before marriage to a groom who did not fulfill his promise to marry.
I would like to emphasize that before, the life of a girl and the life of a woman was very different: she changed her place of residence, she had new obligations, she could no longer go to parties and celebrations. But the attire of both was always closed, moreover, multi-layered. For example, it was often impossible to even understand whether a woman was pregnant or not, the clothes hid her body so much.
Time passed, and the tradition gradually disappeared. There was a growing difference in the approach to this issue in the city and the countryside. City people began to allow themselves more frank behavior. Which left its mark on the institution of family relations. We all know the story of the death of Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. His wife allowed him to think that she was having an affair with someone else, and, defending his honor, Pushkin shot himself; We all know the sad outcome. This is how not just a person died, but also a great Russian poet. In Pushkin’s surviving letters to Goncharova, he more than once asked her to behave as a wife should, and not to continue the frivolous life of an unmarried girl.
And yet, even until recently, chastity remained a characteristic feature of Russian women. In the 1975 Soviet film “They Fought for the Motherland,” which shows us the years of the Great Patriotic War, there is an episode where a woman in the village rebuffs one of the soldiers, explaining: “In your opinion, it turns out that if the husband is in the army, then , the wife is a bastard, right? So we had to prove with our fists what we are.” The heroine of Nonna Mordyukova here personifies all Russian women of that time. In addition, many people know the fact that, after examining Russian girls under the age of 21, a German doctor reported to Hitler that almost all of them were virgins, of course, this incredibly surprised them. But this was not so long ago, not even a century has passed...
By the way, in the Russian language there is still no decent word for a girl who has been deflowered and who has not become a wife. Words such as "girl", "girl" and even "virgin" speak of virginity; “woman” means “wife”; but those who are neither a virgin nor a wife were always called obscene words in Rus', which are still curses in our country.
Why are men afraid of virgins?9
Virgophobia is the fear of virgins. This means that they are really afraid, since they had to come up with a special term.
It’s worth figuring out what scares them.
- Fear of not being able to cope – it’s not every day that you come across such a responsible task.
- Fear of blood is inherent in humans at the genetic level. In ancient times, people believed that a soul lives in a person’s blood and that it can come out with bloodletting.
- Fear of hurting another person. In this case, Freud also frightened those who were not afraid. In his authoritative opinion, the man fears that the girl will take “revenge” on him for the pain, and revenge will result in castration. All these fears are on a subconscious level; in a sane mind it is difficult to think of such things.
Now it’s clear why men used to shift the heavy burden onto other people’s shoulders, or rather, onto other people’s organs, while they themselves used the easy ways.
Attitudes towards chastity in modern society: Over the past few decades, attitudes towards chastity have undergone very strong changes.
Church Fathers on Chastity
You can read a lot about chastity on Wikipedia, but you should not neglect the books left to us by the Holy Fathers.
This virtue, in their general opinion, combines all Christian values. The Apostle Paul said that it is not external beauty that makes a woman beautiful, not braided hair and elegant dresses, but prayer, meekness of spirit, silence, humility.
A girl or woman is beautiful if she is flexible, soft, tolerant and has a big heart.
Informative! When to read a prayer of thanksgiving to the Lord God
Another nineteenth-century preacher, Ignatius Brianchaninov, argues that this virtue lies in the renunciation of “fornication,” voluptuousness, and ambiguity in business, conversation, and dreams.
He called on all Christians to remain silent more, to help the weak and crippled, and most importantly, to constantly think about the hellish torment and death that awaits us. In his opinion, you can become chaste through obedience - to God, parents, law, husband.
Interesting! What do the 10 commandments of God and the 7 deadly sins mean?
Why did chastity go out of fashion?10
- Contraception played a dual role in life. On the one hand, it made it possible to plan the birth of children and avoid unwanted pregnancies. On the other hand, it contributed to the decline of morals.
- Sexual revolutions imposed a certain stereotype of behavior in which chastity had no place left.
- Changing public consciousness. Men have become more loyal in matters of preserving virginity. The age of the couple getting married has become closer to 30. Open relationships are widely promoted in the media.
Enterprising young ladies offer defloration for money, and more than once. After all, hymenoplasty - an operation to restore the integrity of the hymen - is put on a grand scale. There was such a thing as an anatomical virgin. This girl refuses genital contact, but does not disdain such types of sex as oral and anal. In this case, virginity cannot be called chastity.
Chastity of a woman
Women's nature is radically different from the nature of men. It is a woman who has such qualities as tenderness, the ability to bring beauty, to care, and to create comfort. All these qualities are necessary to fulfill your destiny associated with motherhood, the embodiment of new life into this world. No matter what contemporaries say, motherhood is a woman’s key ability that distinguishes her from a man. And to realize this ability, her life must be different, not the same as that of the stronger sex. A woman’s behavior, speech, appearance - everything she does is of a completely different nature, it is aimed at creating, creating, improving, maintaining harmony in this world. A woman's life should contribute to the improvement of her family. Female energy is much stronger than male energy; it is capable of changing almost any man, both for the better and for the worse, depending on where it is aimed. For this reason, when talking about chastity, the emphasis is primarily on women. There is an opinion that if a woman complains that her husband drinks or beats, then first of all she needs to look for the reason in herself. A good wife is able to awaken the potential in her husband and make sure that he realizes it next to her. Only a chaste woman can become holistic and wise, one who primarily pursues the interests of her husband, as well as the one who is BEHIND her husband, and family. Naturally, such a woman will have a worthy husband, and their children will grow up to be good people.
The absence of female chastity violates universal peace, since it is the woman who has always personified peace, tranquility, tenderness, care, comfort, and motherhood. In the subconscious of every person, the image of a woman evokes a feeling of security. For example, if a person walks late at night and sees a company in which there is a woman, this company is automatically perceived as less dangerous than a purely male one. That is, the very presence of a woman can harmonize space with her mere presence. But does a modern woman carry this image, does she correspond to it? First of all, this manifests itself through appearance. Nowadays, even modest girls often dress revealingly. Mothers and grandmothers no longer tell their children about loyalty to one and only husband, about maintaining one’s purity before marriage, or about the importance of a complete family.
Female chastity, first of all, is expressed in a woman’s appearance, in her behavior, in fidelity to her husband, in caring for children, in housekeeping, in joyful peace and state of mind. Coming home to such a wife, the husband feels calm, no matter what “battle” he returns from. Home is the place where you want to return, where you are understood, expected, you are always welcome, it is the woman who creates this atmosphere. Wherever such a woman appears, the surrounding space will become friendlier and brighter.
What is “chastity in a girl”
Chastity in a girl is expressed as modesty, morality, preservation of virginity until marriage. A chaste girl does not drink alcohol, does not smoke, does not use foul language, is meek, does not look impudently into the eyes, especially of men, laughs and dresses modestly. But this does not mean that she is boring and uninteresting, she can be quite active in life, it’s just that her interests lie in a different plane.
Now there is an opinion that to be a chaste girl is to maintain virginity until adulthood. This is undoubtedly important from the point of view of the maturation of the psyche and the full physical development of the body, but not exactly what we are talking about. Chastity in a girl should be maintained not by age, but until marriage, then she will not lose honor, but will pass it on to her husband. Chastity in a girl is indicated by her understanding that intercourse with her husband is the door to her new qualities: motherhood and becoming a woman.
In other words, chastity is not just remaining a virgin until adulthood, it is waiting for your one and only, giving yourself to him after marriage and remaining faithful to him until the end of your days. Here it is worth clarifying that marriage is considered not so much a stamp in a passport, but rather when lovers made vows to each other and announced their relationship to the world.
Often girls pretend to each other that, they say, “they had everything,” although in reality they did not. I would like to ask such girls not to be ashamed of their purity, but, on the contrary, to be proud of their inaccessibility. In fact, young people like and respect modest girls much more than promiscuous girls. Chaste girls, as a rule, do not experience difficulties in starting a family, which cannot be said about their antagonists.
What is the danger of premarital affairs11
- With a change of sexual partner, the usual composition of the vaginal microflora is disrupted, thereby causing an imbalance in the body and a decrease in immunity. Numerous sexually transmitted infections are difficult to treat and cause infertility. Monsters such as syphilis and gonorrhea are always looking for a new victim.
- There is a high risk of unwanted pregnancy. Despite the wide variety of contraceptives, none of them provides a 100% guarantee.
In the modern world, chastity has ceased to be a virtue and has become unfashionable. But fashion tends to change, right?
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Chastity in the modern world
Previously, chastity meant preserving the honor of not only a particular girl, but also her entire family; a faithful wife was considered the honor of a man. The tradition of the Russian people said that before marriage a girl must maintain her virginity, and after marriage she must remain faithful to her husband. She became married after the wedding. The tradition was preserved because people had a conscience, an integral part of which is shame. Nowadays it is not customary to be ashamed. If a man suddenly says that he is ashamed of his wife, this will most likely be returned to him as an accusation, and no one cares that she may behave impartially. There is propaganda of total acceptance, European videos are being released where they equate criminals, gays, scientists, drug dealers, saying to tearful music that we are all human, we are all the same and we all need understanding, we are all alone and face difficulties. Most people are drawn to such “quality” videos. Now the tradition of chastity is being methodically exterminated; even if weddings take place, they mean little to the newlyweds, and at the first difficulties they often run away. The so-called happiness is promoted, in pursuit of which people get divorced, even if they have children, presenting it as “Happiness of children means happy parents.” However, most children suffer greatly due to their parents' divorce, but that is another story.
In modern society, chastity is condemned; this topic is not exactly taboo, it is methodically ridiculed, presented as something bad, unmodern and depriving a woman of her freedom. However, in the modern world there is actually no freedom; we are clearly dictated from television screens and magazines how we should look, what we should eat, what we should listen to, what we should be interested in. For example, most women and girls do not wear long skirts or closed clothing precisely because they are afraid of being ridiculed. If the clothing is closed, then by modern standards it must certainly be bright or tight-fitting.
Nowadays, sexual pleasures are presented, on the one hand, as something incredible, something to strive for, something to live for, as the highest reward, the purpose of existence, on the other hand, as something easily accessible and everyday. Nowadays there is no mystery of the relationship between a man and a woman; much is put on display. As a result, today you see on a social network how a girl is sitting on the lap of one, and tomorrow she is kissing another, a week later she is relaxing on a foreign beach with a third. But for some reason, the years go by, and she’s always with one thing, then with another, no family, no peace - sheer joy.
Chastity as such is absent in our time, in my opinion, because there is no cult of the family, while there is a cult of the body. Previously, girls were afraid that they would not be taken as wives, that they would not be able to give birth to healthy offspring - this was a shame, and they felt not only shame, but also realized their involvement in such an outcome. Nowadays, not every girl is going to not only get married, but also give birth; she is rather afraid of gaining weight and losing her external attractiveness. Starting a family and having children has ceased to be valuable. Well, if a woman in our time cannot give birth, she will blame anyone, but she will not see her own fault in this, she would rather go and have artificial insemination or take an adopted child. Why preserve yourself, live a boring, chaste life, why self-respect, health, a happy family? Who needs this now?
Recently, fortunately, thanks to various information channels and individuals, one can increasingly find adequate information on this topic. Issues of female chastity are raised in connection with the decline of general morality, which leads to the dehumanization of modern people. There are studies that show that the promotion of sexual promiscuity speaks of cultural decline and leads to the fact that a person begins to have a normal attitude towards immoral things and becomes more loyal to the illegal actions of other people, even if he himself does not allow this. In modern language, leaving chastity leads to general tolerance, that is, passivity, the absence of a normal, adequate civic position, one that comes from the mind, and is not launched by interested parties to manage the resulting biomass. Moreover, abandonment of chastity leads to infertility, both male and female.
Few people draw parallels between the molestation of people and their infertility. If, without delving into the details of the processes, you look at the level of childbirth in countries where women are closed and female chastity is cultivated, and countries where so-called women's rights are defended, where women not only go naked, but also wear trousers and go to work on an equal basis with men , drink alcohol, etc., then everything becomes obvious. The higher the molestation, the lower the fertility and the higher the infertility, and vice versa. But who cares now? This, as mentioned above, is no longer valuable. The value these days is money and views on social networks...
Modern society is becoming more and more superficial. Looking at a picture, he sees the picture, but not the meaning and not the energy. People are forgetting how to think and reflect; bloggers and showmen do it for them. Such conclusions can be drawn at least from the fact that in modern films, cartoons, and television programs they promote a lot of negative, destructive information, and certain values are imposed on people. And most people simply don’t notice this, often don’t simply check the information, and are not able to think critically. Although a person whose mind and consciousness are not clogged with television can easily see how and what is being imposed, and it is amazing how others can not notice this.
There is an expression: “To live with wolves is to howl like a wolf.” The current generation has grown up in a dissolute society, and for them this is the norm, since often they have never had another example in sight. Can you blame them for this? I don't think that would be fair. But we must set a different example for our children and, if possible, change society in order to ennoble it.
