Why remember the dead?
The fact is that life continues after death. Moreover, the final fate of a person is decided not after death, but at the second coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, which we are all waiting for. Therefore, before the second coming we can still change this fate. When we are alive, we can do this ourselves by doing good deeds and believing in Christ. Having died, we can no longer influence our own afterlife, but this can be done by people who remember us and have heart problems. The best way to change the posthumous fate of the deceased is prayer for him.
When are the dead remembered? On what days are the dead commemorated? At what time of day can you remember?
The time of day when one can remember the deceased is not regulated by the Church. There are folk traditions that go back to paganism and clearly prescribe how and at what hour to remember the dead, but they have nothing to do with Christian prayer. God lives in space without time, and we can reach heaven at any moment of the day or night. The Church has established special days of remembrance of those who are dear to us and have passed on to another world - the so-called Parental Saturdays. There are several of them a year, and all but one (May 9 - Commemoration of the Deceased Warriors) have a moving date: Meat Saturday (Ecumenical Parental Saturday) March 5, 2016. Saturday of the 2nd week of Lent March 26, 2021. Saturday of the 3rd week of Lent, April 2, 2021. Saturday of the 4th week of Lent April 9, 2021. Radonitsa May 10, 2016 May 9 - Commemoration of the departed soldiers Trinity Saturday (Saturday before the Trinity Day). June 18, 2021. Saturday Dimitrievskaya (Saturday before the day of memory of Dmitry Solunsky, which is celebrated on November 8). November 5, 2021. In addition to Parental Saturdays, the deceased are remembered in church at every service - at the proskomedia, part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. Before the Liturgy, you can submit notes “of remembrance.” The note contains the name with which the person was baptized, in the genitive case.
Why you shouldn’t remember the dead in the evening before going to bed
Previously, it was believed that night is the time when dark entities appear; portals to other worlds can open. If you often remember the deceased, his soul will be called into this world. Moreover, relatives often experience fear of such phenomena. In addition, many people see the deceased in their dreams. This is another confirmation of the need to follow the rules of the funeral: do not remember the dead after sunset.
What happens if we stir up the memory of the departed?
The frequent mention of relatives who are no longer among the living, as well as endless grief, does not allow them to rest. The soul experiences anxiety, because loved ones are constantly grieving, which negatively affects the disembodied spirit. To rid the soul of the deceased from this pain, it is necessary to control your feelings as much as possible: to show grief in moderation if you are going to commemorate.
Over time, the pain of loss will subside - this is normal. However, endless sadness prevents the ethereal shell from resting in peace.
How do you remember for 9 days? How do you remember for 40 days? How to remember for six months? How to remember for a year?
The ninth and fortieth days from the day of death are special milestones on the path from earthly life to eternal life. This transition does not occur immediately, but gradually. During this period (until the fortieth day), the deceased person gives an answer to the Lord. This moment is extremely important for the deceased; it is akin to childbirth, the birth of a little person. Therefore, during this period the deceased needs our help. Through prayer, good deeds, changing ourselves for the better in honor and memory of those close to us. For six months, such a church commemoration does not exist. But there will be nothing bad if you remember it for six months, for example, by coming to the temple to pray. An anniversary is a day of remembrance when we, those who loved a person, come together. The Lord commanded us: Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them (Matthew 18:20). And joint remembrance, when we read a prayer for relatives and friends who are no longer with us, is a bright, resounding testimony to the Lord that the dead are not forgotten, that they are loved.
Do esoteric warnings have anything to do with true faith?
When a ban on holding funeral services in the dark is voiced, this should not be explained by the fear of the appearance of evil entities or demons. There is no struggle between them and the souls of the deceased. In the same way, loved ones do not risk anything when they pray for the dead in the evening. Such prohibitions are due to the fact that overly sensitive, receptive people can see the deceased in a dream. The subconscious does not always paint positive images. This means that such prohibitions are associated only with an attempt to rid relatives of unnecessary reasons for fear of the face of their deceased loved ones.
Is it possible to perform funeral services for suicides? How to remember suicides?
The question of funeral services and church commemoration of suicides is very controversial. The fact is that the sin of suicide is one of the gravest. This is a sign of a person's distrust of God. Each such case must be considered separately, because there are different types of suicides - conscious or unconscious, that is, in a state of severe mental disorder. The question of whether it is possible to have a funeral service and commemorate a baptized person who committed suicide in a church rests entirely with the responsibility of the ruling bishop. If a tragedy happened to one of your loved ones, you need to come to the ruling bishop of the region where the deceased lived and ask permission for a funeral service. The bishop will consider this question and give you an answer.
As for home prayer, you can certainly remember a person who committed suicide. But the most important thing is to do good deeds in his honor and memory.
What can you remember? Can you remember it with vodka? Why are they remembered with pancakes?
Trizny, funeral meals, came to us from time immemorial. But in ancient times they looked different. This was a treat, a feast not for the relatives of the deceased, but for the poor, crippled, orphans, that is, those who need help and would never be able to arrange such a meal for themselves. Unfortunately, over time, the funeral feast turned from a matter of mercy into an ordinary home feast, often with copious amounts of alcohol... Of course, such libations have nothing to do with real Christian commemoration and cannot in any way influence the posthumous fate of the deceased.
How to remember the dead in church?
In the temple, all those dead who united themselves with the Church of Christ in the Sacrament of Baptism are remembered. Even if a person for some reason did not go to church during his life, but was baptized, he can and should be remembered. Before the Divine Liturgy, you can submit a note “for proskomedia.” Proskomedia is the part of the Divine Liturgy that precedes it. At the proskomedia, bread and wine are prepared for the future Sacrament of Communion - the transfusion of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ. On it, not only the future Body of Christ (the Lamb is a large prosphora) and the future Blood of Christ for the Sacrament (wine) are prepared, but also a prayer is read for Christians - living or dead. For the Mother of God, the saints and us, ordinary believers, particles are taken out from the prosphora. Pay attention when they give you a small prosphora after Communion - it’s as if “someone picked out a piece” from it. It is the priest who takes out particles from the prosphoras for each name written in the note “for proskomedia.” At the end of the Liturgy, pieces of bread, symbolizing the souls of living or dead Christians, are immersed in a chalice with the Blood of Christ. The priest at this moment reads the prayer “Wash away, Lord, the sins of those remembered here by Thy Blood through the honest prayers of Thy saints.” Also in churches there are special memorial services - requiems. You can submit a separate note for the memorial service. But it is important not only to submit a note, but also to try to be personally present at the service where it will be read. You can find out about the time of this service from the temple servants, to whom a note is given.
Category: question-answer
Is it possible to reschedule the date of the funeral if we don’t have time to organize lunch?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
The Church does not prohibit the postponement of a funeral dinner if there are compelling reasons for this. The meal can be held later if it is scheduled on a weekday when not everyone is able to leave work. It is transferred when one of the family members has a child or a date has been set for the baptism ceremony. The illness of relatives is also a good reason for changing the day of the funeral. If the funeral dinner falls on a major religious holiday, it should be rescheduled.
Do I need to attend the memorial service and liturgy?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
Holding a funeral service (its home version - lithium) is not obligatory for relatives. However, a church service is a consolation for loved ones. If the deceased received communion during his lifetime, his relatives are united with him in Christ when they undergo the same rite. It is performed before the service. For this reason, it is advisable to visit the temple when the Liturgy or memorial service is held.
Memorial service for the deceased
What should you say when mentioning the deceased?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
For Christians, the first priority is to help the soul of the deceased find peace. For this reason they say: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of your servant (name).” In addition, if you are going to remember the deceased, it is customary to talk about him, and the tone of speech should be positive. It is better to exclude pathos and unnecessary tragedy. Verbosity is also not welcome at funerals.
Why can't we remember the dead at night?
Expert opinion
Father Pavel
Clergyman
Believers should adhere to Orthodox canons. This means that a negative answer to the question whether it is possible to hold a wake in the evening is not caused by the fear of incurring the wrath of demons that may appear at night, but by concern about the sensitivity of family members. People who have experienced loss are susceptible to images. If you remember the deceased before going to bed, he may appear, which will cause concern. Such a dream will again plunge the grieving person into the abyss of despair, because the deceased relative will see his loved one revived again.
How to remember the newly deceased?
From the first day of a person’s repose, the Psalter is read over his body. If the deceased is a priest, then the Gospel is read. The Psalter must continue to be read even after the funeral - until the fortieth day. The newly deceased is also remembered at the funeral service. The funeral service is supposed to take place on the third day after death, and it is important that it is carried out not in absentia, but over the body of the deceased. The fact is that all those who loved the person come to the funeral service, and their prayer is special, conciliar. You can also remember the newly deceased with a sacrifice. For example, distribute his good, high-quality things to those in need - clothes, household items. This can be done from the first day after a person’s death.
How to remember animals?
It is not customary to remember animals in Christianity. The teaching of the Church says that eternal life is prepared only for man, since only man has the soul for which we pray.
The man didn’t die, he just left... He left everything in the house as it was... He just doesn’t see or hear, He no longer has earthly bread... He just became different from people, He opened another... astral path... Where is another life ... another wisdom Where is the other salt... the other essence... There will be a bookmark in the book On the page about his love... On the table there is a note... very briefly: “Remember, but only... don’t call..." The man didn’t die... he just went out and opened air bridges Between the shores of a past life And another invisible line... Elena Gromtseva.
Esoteric warnings
Previously, it was believed that with the onset of darkness, portals opened through which demonic entities could enter the world of the living. For this reason, no one spoke aloud about the deceased after it got dark. Demons could appear on earth in the guise of relatives who are no longer among the living. This is a way to get close to the souls of the innocent, to influence them. With the onset of darkness, they also did not talk about the other world.
The modern opinion of esotericists is somewhat different: negative energy is concentrated in the cemetery. For this reason, the answer to the question of whether it is possible to commemorate in the evening at the grave is negative. After an evening visit to a churchyard, many people feel weak, irritable, and subject to mood swings. Highly sensitive people may even get sick.
