“Petition” translated from Greek
This is precisely the meaning of the word, incomprehensible to the neophyte. Parastas is, in essence, a petition to the Almighty on behalf of the departed, proclaimed through the mouth of the Church. The main difference of the especially solemn heartfelt Matins is the priest’s reading of the 17th kathisma of the Psalter (the entire 118th psalm, divided by article). The content of this verse, mistakenly considered “purely funeral”, is a confession of faith, grief over deviations from the Law given by the Creator, a request for mercy and leniency towards human weaknesses. Remembering that “there is no man who will live and not sin,” and the believers present at the service, on their own behalf, together with the choir, repeat the refrains “Savior, save me” and “Blessed are you, Lord.”
Why is the begging ritual needed?
Women often come to me for consultations with problems in their personal lives: some are unable to start a family, others are unable to give birth to a child, and still others are not having good relationships with their parents.
As a rule, many of these situations originate not even in childhood, but in the history of the Family. Particularly surprising are situations involving repetitive or emotionally charged scenarios. For example, if your great-grandmother died in childbirth, you may subconsciously be afraid of getting pregnant, and this fear can lead to infertility. If one of your ancestors, voluntarily or unwittingly, participated in the death of other people, then the descendants will pay with failures in their personal lives, conflicts at work, or a difficult fate.
Is it possible to correct such situations? Yes, it's possible. To do this, we make constellations (arrangements). This also helps with the highly powerful RITUAL OF PRAYING OF KIND - healing of Kin with the help of Orthodox prayer. We do this in a group, but it can also be done independently.
What does the ritual of begging Rod give?
During the ritual, group members note that already in the process of reading prayers, calm comes. After the ritual, tension goes away – and not only from the body. It feels like a stone has been lifted from your shoulders. In general, the ritual helps improve relationships with parents, relatives, partners, and children. Conflicts somehow stop by themselves, things begin to work out that were never possible before - as if the blessing of the Family comes to realize your intentions (especially if they are related to procreation, marriage, conception, family prosperity). Gradually, success comes to the family, things get better, and relationships improve.
Do we have the right to intervene?
When performing a ritual, we simply pray for those who gave us life. We turn to God, asking for our ancestors, just as we pray for our children and other loved ones. We do not judge our relatives and their actions, we do not try to figure out who was right and who was wrong - this is not in our power and control. We do not interfere in the course of history and leave everything to the discretion of the Almighty, obeying His wisdom and will. We have no goal of correcting the situation in the past - usually we don’t even know what exactly happened in the family’s history. We try, through prayer and acceptance, to introduce healing energy into our Family, which will act in accordance with the will of the Universe.
When and where to perform the ritual?
It is advisable to do this ritual at home, optimally in the morning. You can - in church (especially for immediate relatives whose names are known), placing candles in front of the icons of Jesus or the Mother of God. Moreover, in this case, it does not matter whether all the ancestors in your family were Orthodox, whether they believed in God or not.
Sequence of actions in the ritual.
- Make a TREE OF YOUR FAMILY, write down 7 generations of your family (preferably in A2-A1 format):
First generation - yourself (name)
Second generation - your parents, mom, dad (names)
Third generation - your grandparents (parents' parents)
The fourth generation is your great-grandparents, that is, the parents of your grandparents (write names that are known)
Fifth generation - your great-great-grandparents (parents of great-grandparents)
and so on, until the seventh generation.
If the name of a relative is unknown, you write in reference to a famous person. For example, “My great-great-grandmother is in the fifth generation” or “My grandfather Ivan’s grandmother.” If absolutely nothing is known, then you can write “Great-great-grandmother in such and such a generation on the side of the father or mother (or grandmother)” (link to that relative who is known to you).
in the form as shown in the figure.
- Then you light a wax candle bought in the church and begin to read prayers for EACH member of the KIND in a certain sequence:
- Read a prayer for yourself (1st generation).
- You read a prayer for your mother, then for your father (2nd generation).
- You read a prayer for your maternal grandmother and grandfather, then for your paternal grandmother and grandfather (3rd generation).
- You read a prayer for your great-grandmother and great-grandfather - the parents of the female grandmother, then - for the great-grandmother and great-grandfather - the parents of the female grandfather. You work in the same way with male ancestors: first you read prayers for your great-grandmother and great-grandfather - your grandmother’s parents, then for your great-grandmother and great-grandfather - your grandfather’s parents (4th generation).
- And so on, for all 126 ancestors in 7 generations.
Each time you pray, start by indicating the name of the relative for whom you are praying: “I, the servant of God ______, read a prayer for the servant of God ______ (name) on the maternal / paternal side. For example, “I read a prayer for my grandmother ______ (name), my father’s mother” or “I read a prayer for my great-great-grandmother ______ on my mother’s side.”
For each relative you read in a row:
- Three prayers
- Psalm 90 (David's Song of Praise)
- Psalm 50 (Have mercy on me, O God)
- Symbol of faith.
- After each reading of all three prayers for each relative, you will say the words on behalf of the relative: “I ask forgiveness from all beings to whom, wittingly or unwittingly, intentionally and unintentionally, I brought harm, caused pain and with whom I was offended ( -as), whom he offended. I apologize for my guilt and any dissatisfaction with my life."
- You also ask forgiveness for your ancestor on your behalf from all those to whom he caused harm during his lifetime: “I ask forgiveness from all living beings to whom, willingly or unwillingly, consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally, my grandfather/my grandmother (name) caused / did evil, caused pain and who was offended by, whom he offended. I apologize for her (his) guilt and any dissatisfaction with my life.”
- To complete the ritual, read the Prayer “For the Purification of the Family” three times: “Lord, I ask forgiveness to everyone whom I, voluntarily or unwittingly, offended in this life and in my past lives.
Lord, I forgive everyone who has offended me, willingly or unwillingly, in this life or in my past lives.
Lord, I apologize for all my deceased relatives.
Lord, I apologize for all my living relatives.
Lord, I ask forgiveness to all people who, wittingly or unwittingly, in word, deed or thought, were offended by my ancestors.
Lord, I ask You, cleanse, heal and protect me, my family and my entire family and fill me with Your Power of the Holy Spirit, light, love, harmony, strength and health.
Lord, I ask You, cleanse my family.
In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen".
and a prayer of gratitude: “Lord, I thank You for everything that You give me. I thank the Power of Your Holy Spirit, all the Powers of Light, heaven, earth and all the saints who pray with me for my forgiveness.”
Important points!
✓ If your ancestor's name is unknown, it is important to imagine his place in your family tree, so you need to have a family tree at hand.
✓ Sometimes this practice goes easily and quickly, sometimes it suddenly stops at one of the ancestors - for some reason the prayer is more difficult, obstacles arise, there is not enough time, and so on. This means that it is with this ancestor that the emergence of certain negative programs in your family is associated, and it will take you a little longer to change this program and pray for money than for other members of the family who sinned less.
✓ It is important to read prayers by generation. You can pray for several generations at once. When you are reading prayers for ancestors in the 6th or 7th generation and you do not have enough time, you can read separately along the paternal/female lines (so as not to break the lines).
✓ It is important to read for several days in a row, preferably in the morning, without interruption for a day. Until you reach the end of the 7th generation. If you miss even a day, start over (with yourself).
The mood in which you perform the ritual is extremely important. Enter the ritual in a state of deep respect for your family, for your ancestors, for those who came before you and thanks to whom you live today. In a state of humility before the will of the Almighty, acceptance of the fate of the ancestors and one’s own Destiny.
If after the ritual your problems are not solved immediately, this does not mean that your prayers are not working. This means that the experience that you live is needed in this version and it is thanks to it that you get the opportunity to realize something.
If you are unable to get out of a difficult situation on your own, come to me for a consultation, group or seminar!
With love,
Marina Strekalova
Deceased does not mean undead
The Christian tradition posits three birthdays for each person: the first is birth, the second, main event is Holy Baptism, and the third is the transition from the earthly vale, full of sorrows and illnesses, to Eternal Life. Death, personified as the servant of hell defeated by the Resurrection of Christ, no longer has power over those believers who have passed into another existence through the Dormition. “Death, where is your sting, hell, where is your victory?” — this questioning contains the confidence that “everyone is alive with God.” It is not for nothing that the days of remembrance of Christian saints fall precisely on the date of their dormition, their return “home” to the Heavenly Creator from a long earthly journey.
Why do the departed need our prayers?
The Creator’s love even for a person who has sinned and has strayed from the right path is touchingly depicted in the Gospel. However, not everyone during their lifetime manages to return to their father’s threshold, to complete the path of repentance, that is, to change for the better, to return to the prototype revealed by the God-man - Christ. Death, which has lost its undivided power, but has not lost its strength, overtakes others on the road. Parastas is the opportunity to continue the path to eternal good through the prayers of the living for those who await the day of the last Judgment, without the opportunity for further repentance. Orthodoxy affirms the possibility of changing the afterlife of a person for the better. The main means for this is Proskomedia - a name commemoration at the Liturgy. The sacred bonds of love allow us to dedicate the works of faith that we perform—alms, church and home prayer—to God on behalf of the departed. Parastas for the deceased is one of the most effective means of helping our loved ones.
Served on Friday evening.
The main link of Parastas is the 17th kathisma (Psalm 118), which is performed with a special rite at vespers on parental Saturdays.
Often parishioners wonder why exactly 17 kathisma is used at funeral services or interpret it as a funeral psalm, although such an opinion is extremely incorrect.
“This is a song about the law, this is a confession of a soul admiring God’s law, grieving over its deviations from it, begging the Lord to be merciful. At funeral services, this is a confession on behalf of the deceased. But those who are living - those who are coming, not wanting to remain only listeners and witnesses of this confession, interrupt it with frequent appeals to the Lord and from themselves.
Afanasy Sakharov. “On the commemoration of the dead according to the Charter of the Orthodox Church”
Thus, the choir, in parallel with the reading of the kathisma by the priest, constantly sings the chorus: “Save, save me” or “Blessed are you, Lord.”
What is parastas for the dead served for?
Parastas for the dead is a memorial service that is performed for deceased Orthodox Christians, usually served at an all-night vigil on parental Saturdays. The structure of this service is similar to morning worship.
This commemoration usually takes place on Friday evenings or before memorable days, such as a tragedy or funeral service for a priest. Parastas is also performed at home on the third, ninth, and fortieth day after the death of an Orthodox Christian.
Parastas for the dead is just as necessary for departed souls as all other funeral services. When we pray for the dead, their souls receive joy in heaven and relief in hell. Hearing our prayers, which are a dialogue with God, our loved ones, who are no longer around, also offer a prayer to the Savior for us.
Christian tradition tells that when Macarius the Great prayed for the souls of the pagans, the flames of hell retreated from them, they could even see each other without obstacles, which brought comfort to the suffering. From the very beginning of the existence of the Christian Church, prayers for the dead were accepted as a tradition.
You can prepare for the parastasis for the dead in the same way as for other services. You need to write down deceased relatives and friends for whom you would like to pray in general church prayer, prepare a memorial service (bread, kutya and whatever food you want) and take it to church.
During the service, try to be attentive. We must remember that our concern for the dead is reminiscent of the attention of parents to children who have moved far away and need prayer in absentia. The Church teaches us that the souls of righteous people remain in heaven until the Last Judgment, awaiting eternal bliss. And sinners go to hell, experiencing torment there.
Parastas for the dead is a service that helps ease the transition from earthly life to the afterlife and the suffering of those who have died in hell. In order for our loved ones not to forget us in their prayers in the future, when they are no longer with us, we should do the same. In addition to parastas, there is a prayer for the dead during the liturgy, lithium...
Radonitsa is a particularly joyful day, when we offer requests to God for the departed. This is a joyful prayer proclaiming that Christ has risen from the dead and made it possible for each of us to go to heaven after death. And as all Orthodox Christians know, with God there are no dead people - for Him everyone is alive.
Parastas' succession
“The continuation of the parastas, that is, the great requiem, for our departed fathers and brothers and for all Orthodox Christians who have passed away.”
Beginning of parastas
the same as an ordinary memorial service (which is an abbreviated parastas).
After Alleluia and troparions, “In the depth of wisdom” the immaculate ones are sung.
The blameless are divided into 2 sections.
First article
: “Blessed, immaculate, on your way.”
Chorus: “Remember, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant” (or “the soul of Thy servant”, or “the soul of Thy servant”).
After the first article there is a small funeral litany and an exclamation: “God of spirits...”.
Second article
: “I am yours, save me.”
Chorus: “Rest, O Lord, the soul of Thy servant” (or “the soul of Thy servant,” or “the soul of Thy servant”).
Immediately after this, troparia for the immaculates are sung:
“Blessed are you, O Lord...
You will find the holy face the source of life...”
After the troparia
and in the small funeral litany the rest of the sedal is sung: “Peace, our Savior”, the 50th psalm is read and the canon “The water has passed through” is sung - its capstone: “To the dying faithful I sing a song” (placed in the Octoechos, tone 8, on Saturday).
Choruses to the canon: “Wonderful is God in His saints, the God of Israel” and “Rest, O Lord, for the souls of Your fallen servants.”
According to the 3rd song, katavasiya is irmos: “of the heavenly circle,” and sedalen: “Truly all is vanity.”
According to the 6th song of Katavasia Irmos: “Cleanse me, Savior.”
After the small funeral litany - kontakion and ikos: “Rest with the saints” and “Thou art alone, the Immortal One.”
According to the 8th song, the priest makes an exclamation: “Theotokos and Mother of Light...”.
Chorus: “The spirits and souls of the righteous...” and Irmos: “Be afraid of every hearing.”
After canon
the Trisagion according to Our Father is read and the troparia of the lithium are sung: “With the spirits of the righteous who have passed away, the soul (or souls) of Thy servant (Thy servant), O Savior, give rest...” and so on.
