Departure from God
The most obvious reason why God does not answer prayers is falling away from God. Leaving aside the obvious denial of the existence of God, it is unlikely that an atheist will pray. But there are people who depart from God by turning to the devil. And this is not necessarily open Satanism. In recent decades, various occult and spiritual practices that have nothing to do with belief in God have become incredibly popular. Esotericism, occultism, eastern spiritual practices, magic, extrasensory perception, paganism - this is not a complete list of what an Orthodox Christian should not touch in any form. Even banal horoscopes, despite the frivolous attitude of many people towards them, are destructive to the soul and are therefore forbidden for Christians. Alas, many people believe that they can combine faith in God with visiting fortune-tellers and psychics, practicing yoga with the chanting of mantras, practicing “white” magic, or having round dances with pagans on Kupala. And then they sincerely wonder why, having come to the temple, placing 5 candles on each candlestick, they did not receive what they asked from God. Such a spiritual vinaigrette is disgusting to God and is expressly prohibited in the Holy Scriptures. Only complete aversion from worshiping fallen spirits and communicating with them, repentance and turning to God will give confidence that the Lord will want to hear prayer.
The time will come when the light of the Lord will illuminate us and let us know that our prayer has been heard
Let us return to the Savior’s prayer and think: was it heard? Without a doubt. The Son of God received strength and help, and although the bitter cup of trials did not pass Him, the Heavenly Father will give Him the strength to accept this cross and carry it to the end.
Let us also be sure that
“The hand of the Lord is not too short to save, and His ear is not too heavy to hear.”
(Isa. 59:1)
God always sees us and hears our prayers.
And, despite the fact that today it seems to us that the Creator does not hear us, the time will definitely come when the light of the Lord will illuminate us and make us understand that our prayer has been heard.
The time will come and the Lord will let us know that our prayer has been heard
Why doesn't God hear our prayers? [Gospel of the Day]
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Lack of faith and doubt in God's help.
Another obvious reason why God does not answer prayers is lack of faith. Reading the Gospel, we come across many examples of faith, for the sake of which the Lord Jesus Christ fulfills requests - resurrects, heals, cleanses, casts out demons, etc. Christ specified faith as an indispensable condition for the miracles that He performed. Thus, to Jairus, the leader of the synagogue, who asked him to heal his lying daughter at the point of death, Christ says: “Do not be afraid, only believe, and she will be saved” (Luke 8:50). And he not only heals, but raises him from the dead, seeing his father’s faith.
To a woman who suffered for twelve years from a female illness with bleeding, and was healed only by one touch of the Savior’s robe, He says: “Your faith has saved you; Go in peace” (Luke 8:48). Faith is the first and important condition that encourages a person to turn to God in prayer. And it is not at all necessary that we will ask for the healing of the sick or the resurrection of the dead. Any prayer request requires faith that what is asked will be given.
Faith in this must be firm, unconditional and without doubt. The need for just such faith is eloquently narrated in the Gospel story. Christ, “seeing a fig tree along the road, approached it and, finding nothing on it except some leaves, said to it: Let there be no fruit from you henceforth forever. And the fig tree immediately withered. Seeing this, the disciples were surprised and said: How did the fig tree immediately wither? Jesus answered and said to them, “Truly I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but if you also say to this mountain, “Be taken up and cast into the sea,” it will be done; and whatever you ask in prayer in faith, you will receive” (Matthew 21:19-22). The power of faith, and prayer attached to it, can work miracles. Lack of faith is not capable of producing obvious, good fruits. And if a person is also haunted by doubts that God will help, then God will have no reason to answer prayer at all.
Failure to keep God's commandments
Persistence in sin is also a reason why God may not answer prayers. God gave people commandments as the only true spiritual guidance in life. The will of God for man lies in the fulfillment of His commandments. If a person does not live according to God’s commandments, sins, does not want to repent, but, on the contrary, perceives sin as the norm of life, then God may not answer prayers. Someone will say - all people are sinners, and, undoubtedly, they will be right; there are no sinless people. But there is a fundamental difference in that some people repent of their sins, while others consider them the norm and are not going to repent. An example is prodigal sins, which are relevant at all times. So-called “civil marriages” are prodigal cohabitation, but many people do not see anything wrong with them and actively practice them.
This also includes the fact that not all people have practical faith, that is, they are not churchgoers - regularly participating in church Sacraments, studying the Holy Scriptures and the works of the holy fathers, and praying regularly. Prayers from time to time and rare trips to church to “light a candle” can hardly be called a practice of faith. At the same time, people can be kind, sympathetic, and help their neighbors. But atheists do this too. It is not at all necessary to be a believer in order, for example, to engage in charity. Faith, according to the definition of the Apostle James, without works is dead (James 2:26).
What happens when people who persist in sin or lack practical faith turn to God in prayer? We find the answer in the Holy Scripture: “This people draws near to Me with their lips, and honors Me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me” (Matthew 15:8). For God to answer prayers, it is not enough to simply acknowledge His existence, call oneself a believer and light candles in church. We must live as the Lord commanded. And if the awareness of a grave sin comes, which was the cause of a sinful life, then it is necessary to bring sincere repentance, and only then begin to pray. Then God’s help will be felt in many deeds and good undertakings, the Lord will support in illness and sorrow, and in a way incomprehensible to man will arrange everything for the better.
How to understand the language of worship?
– During home prayer, we have the opportunity to think about the content, look into the dictionary and figure out an incomprehensible word. But what to do in church, where it is much more difficult to assimilate the content of prayer?
– Temple worship (in its modern form) was formed over many centuries. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in this situation: a person who takes his first steps in the Church is not able to grasp with his mind what is happening in the church. Comprehension of temple worship is a special work. You need to prepare for the service in advance: review the sequence of services and become familiar with the main text that will be read in the church. Today this is not at all difficult to do. There are many publications and websites with liturgical texts and explanations. It is especially important to read and understand passages of Scripture in advance. By doing this regularly, you can gradually come closer to understanding the language of worship.
In addition, today there are Sunday schools at churches, where they also study the liturgical traditions of the Church.
– Are new prayers being created in our time? Or does the Church use exclusively the texts of ancient authors?
– New prayer texts will always be created as long as the Church exists. After all, prayer, as I have already said, is the embodied experience of the Church. Prayers addressed to newly glorified saints are constantly written. For example, several years ago the Council of Saints of the Kyiv Theological Academy was established. In this regard, they painted an icon of academic saints and a prayer addressed to them.
– Who can write prayers?
- Only one who has a special gift that can be compared to a poetic gift. The author of prayer texts must feel their special inner poetry. In addition, he must be a deeply churchly person in order to convey in words the prayer experience of the Church. Among our contemporaries, such a special gift was possessed, for example, by the blessedly reposed Metropolitan of Kharkov Nikodim (Rusnak). He owns many beautiful canons, akathists and prayers that are used in worship today.
Prayer for what is not useful
It happens that people ask God for something that is not useful for them and can lead to sad consequences - the fall. God's providence for man lies in the fact that God wants salvation for every person and has given free will to each of us so that we can personally participate in the work of our salvation. Therefore, if a person asks for something that will ultimately negatively affect the work of salvation, then God is unlikely to grant what he asks for. And it doesn’t matter at all that at a particular moment in life a person does not see or does not imagine the bad consequences of what he is asking for. He cannot see years in advance. We don’t even know for certain what will happen to us in the next minute, but we can only guess, albeit with a high degree of probability. But God knows everything in advance. He knows the outcome of any of our actions, any manifestation of our free will.
This omniscience of God can be very primitively represented in the form of a stone that stands in front of the epic hero at the fork in three roads and on which the outcome of each path is written. Wherever the hero goes, the outcome is what is written in stone. God also knows the outcome of any of our paths and knows how what we ask of Him will affect our lives. It is important to understand that by showing self-will, a person can do different things and ask God for whatever he wants. But since prayer is directed to God and the giver of good is the Omniscient God, then the final decision is always His. He Himself knows when, to whom and what to give. Therefore, it is not surprising that people, even living in accordance with God’s commandments, can ask God for something for years and not receive it. It's just not useful for saving them at the moment, or not useful at all.
Sometimes it happens that a person prays only for material goods, completely forgetting the Savior’s instructions: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor they do not destroy the rust, and where thieves do not break in and steal, for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:19-21). If the heart is burdened with the passion of acquisition, then the prayers will be appropriate. But will the Lord fuel this passion? Hardly. The Apostle James makes this clear: “You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, but to spend it on your lusts” (James 4:3).
Therefore, the most correct prayer is not just “give it, Lord, because I need it,” but “give it, Lord, if it is useful to me and let Your will be done.” When entrusting God with the care of our salvation, we must ask first of all for it and for what is beneficial for it. The first prayer should be about this, and only then all our wants and desires.
It is also important to remember that you need to thank God for the benefits received. Many people completely forget about this extremely important matter - the prayer of thanksgiving, taking God's benefits for granted. I asked and I received. However, we receive an answer to our requests only because God loves us. Parents, raising a child, teach him to give thanks and say “thank you.” When communicating with loved ones, colleagues, bosses, people on the street, a person thanks for the help. This is a sign of culture and upbringing. So isn’t such a culture and education needed in communication with God? God is not a genie in a bottle who fulfills our desires, we just have to ask Him about it or light a candle. God is our Father, and if we say “thank you” to our earthly parent, then we should thank God. Otherwise, you can become like nine out of ten lepers who, after being healed, left and did not return to thank Christ.
When it seems like God doesn't hear you...
It is time for the Lord to act: Your law has been destroyed (Ps. 119:126). “It is time for the Lord to act” could mean that it is time for us to do something for the Lord. The correct interpretation, however, is this: “It is time for You to act, Lord.” Human experience confirms this: both the psalms of David and our everyday life say that every person in his life experiences through experience a great mystery - the mystery of God’s silence. It often seems to us that God is silent. And even more precisely - that God is absent. Often we look for God and want Him to do something, but He does nothing and allows events to develop as they develop, and this development can be dramatic, tragic for us, we can be choked by injustice, sorrow, but despite to this, God is silent. He doesn't interfere or do anything. Naturally, a protest begins to boil in a person, as if he wants to say to God: “Why don’t you do anything?! Why don't you act?! Why don’t you intervene and stop this, all this injustice, because You see it and it is against Your law?” However, God is silent.
God has always worked this way. God did His work in silence. He appeared in the world, but at the same time he seemed to be absent from what was happening in this world, and not only in a person’s personal life, but even in the life of the Church.
When we read the lives of saints and especially martyrs of the first centuries of Christianity (and even of our time), we see this. There were Christians who were persecuted, who suffered as martyrs and paid with blood for their faith in Christ. There were periods when it seemed that the Church was about to collapse, that the enemies of the Church had reached the apogee of their power, strength and glory, and the Church was falling to the lowest limit of powerlessness and humiliation. Someone would say: “Why doesn’t God intervene, why do the heretics triumph? Why are things going well with the enemies of the Church, but with us there is nothing good, and instead of good things we are sliding towards worse and worse?” Therefore, I think that God placed us, the messengers, last, as if sentenced to death, for we have become a disgrace to the world - to angels and men. We, the apostles, were the last people, the most humiliated.
This is how God works in our lives. Why? Because He wants to change the way we think, He wants us to include repentance, a change of mind [2] and the very way of our thinking, so that we move away from the worldly way of thinking and enter God’s way of thinking, which is sacrifice, love and kenosis [ 3] for another person.
Think and see that the Lord Himself did this in His earthly life when He was caught, handed over to people and humiliated Himself in the most humiliating way. Then the holy Apostle Peter, guided by human criteria, wanted to cut off the servant’s ear in order to show valor and fulfill his will, but Christ reproached him and said: “Wait, do you think that I cannot protect Myself?” If I want, I will protect Myself and I can imagine 12 thousand angels here to protect Me [4], but I do not want this and do not need human protection. I voluntarily surrender Myself to death, without resisting what is happening.
Naturally, this happens in the life of each of us, all of us without exception, then a feeling is really born in the soul that God can no longer remain silent: “God, finally do something! Arise, awaken!”
Here in Cyprus, many people think that the service on Holy Saturday in the morning is the Resurrection when we sing: [5]. But this does not mean that Christ was resurrected then, this is simply the prayer of the Church, in which we pray to God to resurrect: “Arise, rise at last, do not be so silent, humiliated, hidden in the Tomb.” It is a human expectation, our desire for something to happen. And it's good that we are not gods. After all, if we were gods, we would turn the whole world upside down in a couple of minutes! We would condemn everyone and put them in the dock - humanely!..
I remember one time when I was a young deacon, something happened and I reacted like this:
- Well, what is this?! This person must be punished, he must be put in his place, let him suffer such and such a punishment!
The elder, naturally, listened to me, shook his head and said nothing. And I said something from those ordinary words that we say when we are overwhelmed by a feeling of injustice.
The next day, during the liturgy, they read the Gospel, which tells how Christ was once expelled from one city, and He left, and the disciples said to Him:
- Teacher, do you want us to pray for fire to come down from heaven and burn them? [6] After all, they are persecuting You! By that time they had already performed some miracles as Christ’s apostles and thought that since Christ did not do this, it was better for them to pray for fire to come down from heaven and burn the inhabitants of that city. After all, they were sinners and unrighteous, but they themselves were “for justice.”
And then this Gospel reading “happened”.
Christ answered them:
“You don’t know what kind of spirit you are!” You have not yet understood what kind of spirit you are and what kind of spirit we are. I came not to destroy human souls, but to save people. As soon as I read the Gospel, the elder stopped me in the church and said:
- Read it two or three more times so that you understand the meaning, first for yourself, and then for others!
Indeed, it is a great thing to change the way we think, to step away from worldly justice and enter into God's justice, where God acts in a completely different way, as a Father who wants to save all people, even the devil. And we function as people who want to establish their justice:
- Look, he’s torturing me, tyrannizing me, he’s threatening my life, enough already! I can’t stand it, I can’t take it anymore, shut his mouth! Or grab him by the throat! Well, okay, I don’t say: “Kill him,” but if he dies, I won’t pay.
In the life of the holy Apostle Carp, who lived in Rome and preached the Gospel [8], it is said that there was a certain heretic deceiver who pretended to be a Christian, and he was such an eloquent and clever charlatan that he constantly put obstacles in the way of the apostles, and they were not able to preach . The Christians wanted to do something spiritual, but he went and failed everything, and they, as people, were indignant.
While praying, the holy Apostle Carp had a vision in the Holy Spirit. He saw the abyss over which hung that heretic who was literally ruining the work of the Church. The heretic was trembling and shaking all over, and the abyss was ready to swallow him at any moment.
“Well,” said the holy Apostle Karp to himself, “in the end!” Let it fall there so that we can finally breathe freely! How much longer will he torment us, he simply tormented us!
And as soon as he uttered these words, he saw the crucified Christ in front of him, who said to him:
- Look, I’m ready to be crucified for this man again. And if you continue in the same spirit, I will send you into the abyss! If you continue to think like this, you will not understand Who My Spirit is and what kind of spirit you should have!
This is really difficult, but the Church, with its healing action, makes this change, and most of all, God Himself makes it, Who acts as He knows, and ultimately this helps us. Sometimes many years pass, and God does not speak at all and allows a person to suffer until he changes his way of life. And we are torn by this feeling - that God would eventually rise up and stop our torment.
In front of me lies one as yet unpublished text. Once a certain family went to Elder Sophronius (Sakharov), this holy man, in Essex, in England, to this Svyatogorsk elder, who described the life of the Monk Silouan of Athos, truly a modern saint. These people had a big problem with their child, he had a congenital incurable disease, and they really bore a heavy cross in life. This child was their only one. Their life was pure torture.
They went to Elder Sophrony, cried, revealed their pain and sorrow, asked him to say a few words to them, and, after praying, he with great compassion told them something from his life, which they immediately wrote down. They then showed him what was written down, and the elder signed below: “That’s exactly what I said.”
He was Russian and spoke flawless Greek, Kafarevus[9]. This is a short text in which he talks about his own life experiences. I will read it to you so that you can see how dramatically the saints endured this silence of God in their lives; ultimately this was the key that helped them open the door to holiness. The elder told them the following:
“I have been wearing a cassock for 57 years, and it seems to me that I tried not to be negligent in my salvation, with great fear and tears I always prayed to God so that He would become the sun for me, so that He would forgive me all my sins and not reject me from the foot Your legs. I tried, according to my strength, not to offend anyone on earth, and so that God would quickly give me the courage to serve as many people as possible, not expecting any return from them - neither material nor spiritual, but only from God the tea of grace for the forgiveness of sins. And despite all this, during all this time (more than half a century) I knew neither peace nor security, but I always felt some kind of danger nearby or, at least, an unfavorable attitude (towards me).” Indeed, life This elder was marked by strong rejection from people, but great gifts from God. “No matter what I started to do, even the smallest thing, I almost always ran into insurmountable obstacles. The doors of this world, almost all of them, were always closed to me.” Imagine a man who has been trying to do God’s work for 57 years, and all the doors of this world are closed to him! Whatever he began to do, he encountered enormous obstacles. “I grew old and still did not understand the meaning of all these trials - that is, are they a manifestation of God’s wrath towards me, a sinner, or is there something else going on here? Is everything that I endure - obstacles, adversity, etc. - happening because God is angry with me because I am a sinner, or is there something else going on in my life? I couldn't understand it. Many times I prayed to God to reveal to me why things always go this way, but God always answered me with silence.”
This elder, who spoke with God face to face, like friend to friend, and who experienced such great states of grace, unique and rare, prayed to God to reveal to him why everything in his life was going this way, why he had so many difficulties and obstacles and everything was closed to him. him, but God always answered him with silence. God never answered him. Therefore, the elder said to these people:
“From all that I have said to you, you will understand that I am unable to give you an explanation for the dramatic ordeal you are in, but I will always remember you in my prayers with love and compassion.”
And concludes:
“It is difficult for us to blame God and justify ourselves.”
That is, it is very difficult to say that God is guilty or God is angry, that everything in my life is going awry, but I myself am innocent. It is not easy for us to say these words, to place all the blame on God and to blame ourselves.
“But it’s just as difficult to do the opposite, like Job’s friends, who wanted to become champions of God’s truth, forgetting about the terrible torment Job went through.”
But again, says the elder, it is not easy for us to say: “You are guilty, but God is innocent!” Become God's advocates and say to the suffering person:
- You know, God is not to blame, it’s your fault and that’s why you endure all this!
“In other words, there are two positions. First: “I am innocent, but God is guilty, who torments and torments me because he is angry!” And second: “I am guilty, but God is innocent!” But both are difficult. In the first case, you cannot attribute to God the difficulty you are going through, and in the second, you cannot attribute it to yourself alone and, already suffering, bear another additional burden, namely, that you are the cause of it and yourself are to blame for it. everything, that is, to become God’s advocate,” says Elder Sophrony.
And he ends with these wonderful words:
“That’s why God is silent, and so are we.”
Since God is silent, we are also silent and cannot do anything other than remember each other in prayer with love and compassion.
I think this is a very powerful text. All the texts and words of Elder Sophrony are so powerful. And I simply found this word, which was his living word to people, since it was kept in the monastery for personal use, and asked that they make a copy of it for me.
Indeed, how typical this is for our lives! For all of us, without exception, there comes a time when we go through such difficulties when we don’t even know what to say. Should you take on the burden of responsibility? But we won't stand it. We can't carry it. We are already under so many adversities that we cannot withstand their burdens and hardships. Should we attribute them again to God? But this is also difficult, we cannot do this either. What do we do then? We do what Elder Sophrony says: “God is silent, we are silent.” We entrust our lives into the hands of God with great trust. This is what we proclaim at the holy liturgy: “We commend ourselves and each other and our whole life to Christ our God.” Let us surrender ourselves, all our affairs, our whole lives into the hands of Christ in order to find peace, to stop eating each other, waging war, fighting with God.
Why does this happen to me? How many difficulties, how many torments, how many vicissitudes? Why is nothing going right in my life? Why is everything wrong with me? I didn't do anything that went right! Everything is going wrong! And the elder said this:
“All the doors were closed, and no door was ever opened for me.”
And the person suffocates, this is natural, this is human. You are suffocating in this question, in this “why with me?!” But despite this, the question “why?” doesn't have an answer, or at least not the answer you want. Because God answers you with silence so that you understand that you need to calm down, find peace, and when you surrender everything into the hands of God, when you can, although exhausted by all this, give yourself into God’s arms, cling to God’s arms, then you will understand why all this happened. Then God will answer you.
Do you remember the example of Elder Ephraim from Katunaki? This elder was a novice under one very stern elder[10], difficult, picky. For 42 years in the desert he obeyed this tyrant, this man with a very difficult character, and observed complete obedience. I kept myself from condemning the elder and going against him.
Many times he suffocated in his thoughts and said to himself: “That’s it, I can’t do it anymore, I’ll leave here, leave him, go somewhere else! It’s impossible to live with him in such conditions!” Every time he decided to leave and said: “I’m leaving, that’s it!” - God was leaving him, and he saw (being a God-bearer) how grace was leaving him. Nothing changed for the better, but he came back, cried and asked God for forgiveness for deciding to run away, betray his obedience and leave there.
42 years passed, and he still prayed, wanting to understand what to do in this situation. Towards the end, his elder lost his mind and became completely unbearable. The life of Elder Ephraim turned into sheer torment. Be that as it may, at some point his elder died. The burial began, and, as is customary on the Holy Mountain, before lowering the body into the coffin, Abba Ephraim came up to take the last blessing from his elder, to kiss him, the dead one, so that he could then be buried. And at that moment, when he bent over his elder to take his blessing, God in the Holy Spirit answered him: “What you did, remaining a novice to this man for 42 years, was God’s will!”
At such a moment he received this spiritual message from God. And he himself says that he answered God in grace: “Are You now saying this to me? When does the elder die and is he placed in a coffin? Why haven't You told me this for so many years? And left me for 42 years?”
He went to the Holy Mountain at the age of 20, and he was 62 when the elder died. A whole 42 years - he came to the Holy Mountain as a young man and grew old, undergoing this martyrdom.
“What does this mean to me now that he’s dead?” And God answered him: “If you had left (earlier), you would have destroyed yourself!” God answered him this way.
Of course, what I am telling you about is not inspiring, and, naturally, we do not have their measure. It's not every day that such old men appear. Do not think that Elder Sophrony, Abba Ephraim, or those great elders whose lives we read led a serene life. On the contrary, their life was torture, every day there was labor, pain, sorrow, tears, sweat and struggle. These people saw no peace in their lives. And what they were doing also did not go as they would like, but what in the eyes of people seemed loss and humiliation, in the eyes of God, however, was their glory.
Ultimately, they were glorified by God because they went through this path of ignominy, patience, faith, refusal of consolation, hope in God alone and in no one else. Ultimately, this is God's message running through all of this: “Don't trust in anything else but God! In Him let your hope be, and only in Him will you find consolation and grace.”
* * *
And we continue further with the text of the psalm:
But I love Your commandments more than gold, and more than pure gold (Ps. 119:127).
That is, in all this I discovered that Your commandments are more valuable than anything in this world: gold, pearls, diamonds. The most precious thing is You and Your commandments, Your word. Therefore, I loved You most of all, and did not consider that anything else deserved love, and discovered that Your love surpasses every other love in this world.
I recognize all Your commandments as fair; I hate every path of lies. Wonderful are Your revelations; therefore my soul guards them (Ps. 119: 128–129).
Like when you go into a store and you see good, wonderful things, you like them, you stand and look at them one after another, spending all your time on it because they are so valuable and amazing. Is this not like a man who suddenly opened the eyes of his soul, saw the wondrous works of God and examined them?
You see, even the Old Testament is not the Gospel - God’s word and God’s Holy Spirit praise the person who searches, and nowhere does it say: “Believe and do not search!” - but we need to examine the wondrous works of God. As the prophet David says so beautifully in this psalm: “With great surprise, amazement and desire, I followed them, examined them, discovered them and saw how wondrous and valuable the wonderful works of God are.”
The revelation of Your words enlightens and enlightens the simple. I open my mouth and sigh, for I thirst for Your commandments (Ps. 119: 130-131).
Let us remember here the words of Christ: Therefore, take it into your heart not to think in advance what to answer, for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all who oppose you will not be able to contradict or resist (Luke 21: 14-15). Don't tell yourself, "Let me sit down and see how I answer this question that they ask me." Nothing! Christ tells us to do nothing and go without any preparation. Why? Because in that hour the Holy Spirit will teach you what to say. Christ seems to say this:
“If you sit down to prepare yourself, you’ll ruin everything, you won’t say it right!” Leave everything as it is, rely on God, and the Holy Spirit will enlighten you on what to say.
Otherwise, if you respond humanly, you may say something good, but it will not have the power of God's word. In other words, I opened my mouth, and immediately it was filled with the Holy Spirit, and so I answered and said what needed to be said.
See, we say a lot of things, but nothing works. And when one man of God speaks, and, say, 50 listen to him, then everyone says:
- You know, what he said, he said right for me!
- No! - says another. - He said it for me.
- But he said that about me!
- No, about me!..
Everyone thinks that the man of God spoke about him, but this is not so, but the Holy Spirit is the One who makes everyone understand what he needs to understand at that moment.
I happened to hear people who went to see a certain virtuous man, and then they said:
“We went there, but he said in front of everyone what we were thinking about, and we were offended.
Then the elder did not even have this in his thoughts, he simply opened his mouth and said five words about which God enlightened him. But these five words were for everyone what they needed, and they perceived what they needed to perceive. As it was with the Jews, when they ate manna, the same for everyone, but for everyone it became what he needed.
It's the same with Holy Communion. As it is wonderfully said in one place of the Holy Liturgy: “According to each one’s need”[11], we pray to the Lord that the communion of the Holy Body and Blood of the Lord may become for everyone what he needs. For those who are in need, let it be to satisfy the need. A light for those in need of enlightenment. Support for the weak. For everyone, may God become what he needs. God works this way, God’s word works this way.
In other words, surrender yourself into the hands of God, just as a child surrenders into his mother’s arms. Do not push God away, do not beat God, who holds you in His arms, for you will hear what the holy Apostle Paul heard, whom God held in His arms despite the fact that he persecuted Christians. On that day, when Christ blocked the path along which the holy Apostle Paul, who was a persecutor of Christians, was walking, Christ said to him: It is difficult for you to go against the pricks (Acts 9:5).
It is very difficult to hit nails with your bare heels. Can you imagine a person who kicks a mess with his bare feet? Is there pain and madness worse than this? This will not work. It's hard to resist God's love, to push God away when He has you in His arms.
Manage to remain in God’s embrace. When you understand this and humble yourself, then you will find peace, calm down, then you will take a deep breath and rely on the great love and peace given to man by the presence of God.
Metropolitan Athanasius of Limassol
Prayer for bad things
Sometimes people ask God for something that is not just not useful, but something downright bad. Some ask for retribution, for the punishment of offenders, they try to “impose” their personal hostility on God and call upon Him to be a kind of destructive weapon. Moreover, the basis for such a prayer in most cases is a certain “sense of justice,” and the assignment of the responsibility to God to “deal with the offender” is determined by a false and feigned “trust” in God. In fact, there can be no talk of any Christian humility and trust in God here, and the “sense of justice” is nothing more than wounded pride.
Someone will object and say - what about, for example, prayer for soldiers on the battlefield? Do we not ask in such prayers to grant victory to our Christ-loving army? Wasn’t it necessary to pray, for example, for victory over Nazi Germany? Or is it bad to pray for those soldiers and law enforcement officers who are fighting terrorism? The answer will be simple - all this is permissible, and sometimes necessary, because we pray for the end of evil. Evil can come in different incarnations. Hitler or a terrorist with a suicide belt is the person who made evil, the extermination of people, the meaning of his life. These are people who are rooted in sin and their sin is directed against other people. But even in the fight against such people, it is extremely important to understand that war, no matter what impulses and feelings it is caused by, is always evil. Even defensive war is also evil. A necessary evil. Inevitable not because it is inevitable in principle, but because it was not possible to avoid this evil, it was not possible to maintain peace. If we believe that evil is inevitable in principle, then any war and any extermination can be justified. Therefore, prayer for warriors and victory is, first of all, a prayer for the end of evil and the coming of peace. In such prayer, you really need to place your trust in the Lord.
This cannot be said about situations of interpersonal conflicts. Christ teaches His personal enemies to forgive: “You have heard that it was said: “You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.” But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who use you and persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:43–45). It is difficult to forbid a person to cry out in prayer for the fair judgment of God in case of obvious injustice, but one must understand that the Judgment of God may not be here and not now, and certainly not by order. The Last Judgment awaits us all, there all disputes will be resolved, and the law by which everyone will be judged is the commandments of God.
Lack of humility and patience in prayer
It was said above that God decides when, what and how to give to a person. However, many people are extremely impatient in waiting for what they ask for. Lord, grant, and that’s all! I need! For some, the lack of an answer becomes a reason for disappointment, weakening of prayer, loss of all hope and even despair. The story of the Canaanite woman whose daughter was healed by Christ comes to mind very opportunely. Evangelist Matthew tells the following about this event: “And behold, a Canaanite woman, coming out of those places, shouted to Him: have mercy on me, O Lord, son of David, my daughter is cruelly raging. But He did not answer her a word. And His disciples came up and asked Him: let her go, because she is screaming after us. He answered and said: I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel. And she, coming up, bowed to Him and said: Lord! help me. He answered and said, “It is not good to take the children’s bread and throw it to the dogs.” She said: yes, Lord! but the dogs also eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table. Then Jesus answered and said to her: O woman! great is your faith; let it be done to you as you wish. And her daughter was healed that very hour” (Matthew 15:22-28).
Here we see that Christ does not immediately respond to the woman’s request. Moreover, at first he doesn’t even want to talk to her. Can you think of a more compelling reason to turn to the Messiah than the possession of your daughter? The woman knows that He can heal her daughter, she shouts to Him about it, but He is silent. How similar this is to our everyday situations, when we pray and do not receive help from God! Even to the request of the apostles, Christ refuses, seemingly retreating into rigid and even cruel formalism - “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” But the Canaanite woman does not retreat; her perseverance is worthy of praise. She again turns to the Savior - Lord, help me! Here we see another lesson for ourselves - patience and perseverance in prayer. No matter how sad and urgent our life situation may be, and no matter how many appeals to God and the saints remain unanswered, we should not despair and weaken in prayer. Reading these gospel lines, we see that Christ acts harshly with a woman who is already in extreme despair because of her daughter’s demonic possession. Someone will be completely surprised - how is it possible, is it really Christ, who teaches love for one’s neighbor, who suddenly calls an entire nation, of which this unfortunate woman was a representative, dogs? However, by this the Savior points not to the human qualities of people, but to their pagan essence. The Canaanites were pagans and worshiped idols, even sacrificing their own children to them. But this woman, a pagan, shows incredible faith and humility, she does not retreat from Christ with resentment, but with enviable persistence she prays - “the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” Faith, perseverance and humility bore fruit, Christ heals her daughter with just one word.
A very illustrative story and example of how not to become impoverished in prayer. God can test our faith and humility, as he tested the Canaanite woman, and only after seeing the basis, help.
The Lord hears the prayer. But the main thing in prayer is to be ready to accept any will from God
We do not know the name of the priest who left us a truly great work as a legacy - the book “Day by Day,” which, once falling into the hands of Empress Alexandra Feodorovna, became her reference book, strengthening her in terrible times of sorrow and martyrdom.
This priest writes in his work:
“Who has not come to Christ with his heavy burden, who has not cried out to Him in the midst of deep sorrow, and who has not at times felt as if the Lord was silent, not heeding his pleas?
When we are not given what we ask for with all our souls; when we don't find what we are looking for, when we knock on the door and it remains closed.
It seems to us then that the Lord has moved so far away from us that our cry of prayer does not reach Him. There is nothing more terrible than this feeling of alienation and distance from the Lord.”
What to do, how not to despair, how to continue to pray if it seems that God does not hear me?
After all, it is said in the Holy Scripture:
"Pray without ceasing."
(1 Thess. 5:17)
Let us remember that in this case too, our Lord and Teacher showed us the path to humility and finding peace of mind in sorrow:
“And being in trouble, he prayed more diligently.”
(Luke 22:44)
After all, there, in the Garden of Gethsemane, great sorrow and melancholy visited Jesus Christ, and he prayed for the passing of this sorrow.
“And going away a little, he fell on his face, praying and saying: My Father! if possible, let this cup pass from Me; however, not as I want, but as You"
(Matt. 26.39)
Before his death, Jesus Christ prayed like this: “My Father! if possible, let this cup pass from Me; however, not as I want, but as You want” (Matthew 26:39)
At the same time, we see that the prayer of the Son of God was inextricably linked with humility, with a feeling of complete submission to the will of the Father:
“Not my will, but Yours be done.”
(Luke 22:42)
After all, it is not given to us to know the will of our Lord about us, we do not know what is best for us. We also do not know what benefit our grief can bring to us or other people, nor do we know what we could lose if these sorrows passed us by.
Therefore, let us leave everything to Him:
“Not my will, but Yours be done.”
The desire to get everything without difficulty
Sometimes people think that God, listening to their prayers, must do everything for them. It looks like childish naivety. A child comes into the store with his parents, sees a toy and wants to get it right away, here and now. If he doesn’t receive it, he begins to be capricious and demand. The child, of course, does not make any special effort to get the toy, but only asks. Likewise, a person thinks that it is enough to simply ask God for help and not make any effort to get what he asks for. But this is far from true. There is a saying: “Pray as if everything depends only on God; act as if everything depends only on you.” And another well-known folk wisdom says: “Trust in God, but don’t make a mistake yourself.” The Lord is waiting for us to put in our efforts, efforts and labors in order to receive what we ask for. It would be very arrogant to expect God to intervene directly and radically in our lives; He usually acts through other people and various circumstances. And we must work, interacting with these people and circumstances, so that God’s participation in our lives becomes clear.
"Air for the Soul"
– Vladyka, many people, including believers, sometimes have a question: why are morning and evening rules needed?
– If we believe in God, then our whole life should be filled with His presence. To believe in the Lord means to trust, to constantly remember Him, to always open your heart to Him. And, of course, the most important manifestation of our life in God is prayer. Those who are little familiar with church life usually think: prayer is a certain duty imposed on a person. It is often perceived as a burden or a duty that must be fulfilled. In fact, prayer is a need of the believing heart. If we constantly feel the closeness of God, then it is completely natural to strive for communication with Him. Prayer is air for the soul. Without prayer the soul withers. As sons of the Heavenly Father, we are called to turn to Him with words of gratitude, with requests for help and support.
– What does the very concept of “prayer” mean?
– If you remember the Church Slavonic word “to speak”, then it becomes clear: we are talking about a conversation. Thus, prayer should be a simple, sincere, humble conversation with God. Each of us should strive for this ideal. To achieve it, you need to accustom yourself to prayer. The prayer rules that the Church offers are spiritual exercises that help us get closer to the ideal of genuine prayer. Morning and evening prayers are perhaps the most famous prayers.
– When and by whom were they compiled?
– Modern morning and evening prayers, which are printed in prayer books, were formalized in our usual form only by the 18th century, and became commonly used in our Church in the next century. More ancient practice suggested otherwise: a person must attend divine services in the morning and evening (and then he simply does not need a separate rule) or read at home the prayers that are said in the temple in the morning and evening. Therefore, until the 18th century. The norm was considered to be home reading of the Midnight Office in the morning (this is the name of the divine service that is performed in monasteries early in the morning), and in the evening - Compline (this is a divine service performed late in the evening, after evening/dinner).
– It turns out that modern morning and evening prayers are close in meaning to the Midnight Office and Compline?
– We can say that this is their abbreviated and simplified version. Of course, we are talking about modern prayer books of the Russian Orthodox Church. Other Local Churches do not know the morning and evening rules in the form in which they are presented here.
Reluctance to sacrifice anything
The most powerful prayer is the one that is associated with the personal feat of the person praying. This confirms the importance of prayer request. Otherwise, it turns out that a person asks God for a miracle, but he himself does not want to make even a minimal sacrifice. However, it is wrong to believe that this sacrifice is measured only by the number of candles placed or the amount placed in the donation box. There is an ancient tradition of combining intense prayer requests with fasting, walking pilgrimage, and almsgiving. The struggle with passions can also act as such a pledge in a prayer request.
The Monk Paisius of Athos said:
“The girl’s father, seriously ill with cancer, came to the Holy Mountain to the elder and asked for prayers for his daughter. The father brought with him some of the child’s things so that the priest would baptize them. The elder said to the unfortunate man: “I will pray, but you, as a father, must make some kind of sacrifice, because... God is greatly “moved” by sacrificial love.
The girl’s father asked: “What will I sacrifice, father?”
The elder said: “Donate one of your passions.”
He, having a weak idea of spiritual life, answered: “I have no passion.”
Then the elder asked: “Do you smoke cigarettes?”
“Yes,” answered the girl’s father.
“So, stop smoking, out of love for your daughter, and God will make her healthy,” the elder demanded.
He immediately quit smoking. The girl began to gradually recover and completely recovered, which was confirmed by the doctors.
The father, however, having forgotten himself, broke his promise to God and started smoking again. At the same time, his daughter began to develop cancer again, and the girl again returned to her previous serious condition. And then her father again came to the elder. But the elder firmly told him: “If you, being a father, do not have curiosity and do not sacrifice the passion that destroys your body for the sake of the life of the child, then I cannot help you in anything.”
Prayer against someone else's free will
It happens that people pray that God will somehow act on other people and do it exactly the way they want. For example, girls often ask a young man with whom the relationship did not work out to return. You can’t be nice by force, says popular wisdom. If a relationship has broken down and a man (although it could, of course, also be a woman) does not want to continue it, then should God “force” him to do so? God is not a matchmaker or a fortune teller; one cannot attribute such properties to Him. A prayer to return a loved one against his wishes is initially doomed to be unfulfilled. Sometimes women pray for the return of a husband who has left for another. This situation is similar to the previous one, but with the difference that here a marriage, sometimes a married one, breaks up. I want to save him, return my husband and father to the family. On the one hand, this is an understandable desire, since the man fell into the sin of adultery. But on the other hand, this desire is almost always associated with a feeling of possessiveness, since the wife wants her husband back, and not at all that he does not sin. It turns out a request like “he’s mine, Lord, give him back to me.” Although it should be different - “Lord, give him some sense and help him not to sin anymore.” Such a prayer, indeed, can be heard by God, but no one has canceled the free will of a man, and therefore there is no guarantee that even after realizing the sin and turning away from it, the husband will return to the family.
The same situation arises when you have to pray for alcoholics. On the one hand, such prayer is extremely necessary, but on the other hand, if the alcoholic himself does not want to get rid of sinful passion, it will be in vain. And not at all because God wants man to continue sinning, but because in sin there is a manifestation of man’s free will. God does not force you to drink, man himself does it. Alas, there are many examples of how parents, spouses and children have been praying for their alcoholic loved ones for years, but nothing changes.
Grudge
When we read the Lord’s Prayer, we say the words “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). If we do not forgive, then with these words we ask God not to forgive us either, that is, we ourselves pray to God that He does not hear our requests. But the Lord clearly says: “So, if you bring your gift to the altar and there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go first, be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23–24). God does not want to hear the prayers of a vindictive person and expects him to reconcile with his neighbor.
