The funeral rite is considered one of the most important Orthodox services. Just as with Baptism a baby is overshadowed by God's grace, so with the departure into the world another believer receives forgiveness and remission of sins. The purpose of the funeral service is to cleanse the soul before its appearance to the Lord. One of the greatest punishments is the refusal of a clergyman to perform a funeral service before burial.
Features of the funeral service in absentia
According to Christian traditions, every person is obliged to confess and repent of their sins. It is believed that only those misdeeds that the dying person has admitted will be forgiven in the other world. To give strength to the rite of repentance after death, a burial ceremony is performed over the body.
The burial rite should not be confused with the reading of funeral prayers over the deceased, which have a completely different meaning. The rite contains a regulated list of psalms and excerpts from the Bible, chanted. This is where the second and most common name for the rite comes from - funeral service.
In modern realities, traditional Christian rituals have begun to be perceived differently. With the development of medicine, the struggle for a person’s life continues until the last breath, and with it the hope for a better outcome remains. Therefore, most people leave the world without having time to confess, and the last hope for the salvation of the soul remains the rite of burial.
What should those attending the funeral service do to help the soul of the deceased?
Be in love! Prayer for the deceased should come not only from the lips, but also from the heart of a loving person. He must also prove his love not only in word, but also in deed.
If possible, it is necessary to do alms and acts of mercy for the deceased. It is this, and not the soul-wrenching demonstrative and non-demonstrative manifestations of grief, that will be the real indicator of our love for the deceased.
When a person comes to church, he must remember, firstly, that the funeral service and commemoration are needed for prayer. And it is usually not strangers or long-time neighbors who pray sincerely, but those to whom the deceased was truly dear, that is, people close to him. I believe that only those people who care about the soul of the deceased should come to the funeral service. Usually these are children, sisters, brothers, parents, spouses, closest relatives and friends. These people must love the deceased and pray. And it is completely pointless to invite just acquaintances and even strangers - that is, those who will simply languish and be bored. What is important is not the pomp and “status” of the funeral service, but the fulfillment of what the deceased himself desires. And he wants one thing - sincerity, warmth of love and prayer. Everything that people usually desire during earthly life.
It would be good if people standing in the church took the text of the rite (can be downloaded in advance on the Internet) and followed what the choir was singing. If there is no text, then you can just listen carefully. What is he singing? In some places he sings on behalf of someone who can no longer sing himself - i.e. the deceased himself. On behalf of the newly deceased, ancient stichera with stunning content are read: “Pray for me!” ... "Come, give me the last kiss."
During the ceremony, try to imagine how much your soul needs prayer now, how it wants everyone to pray for it. A new world has opened up for her, she needs support, but she herself cannot pray for herself. And the soul turns to us, asks for prayers, but we don’t hear it! Instead, we look around... Contemplating his inattentive loved ones, the deceased can remember that he also attended funeral services dozens of times and... also did not pray, because he could not imagine himself in the place of the deceased, he could not believe that in due time he too would be starring at this event...
A meaningful presence at this ceremony brings enormous benefits to the person who came to the funeral service. A person thinks about his life, about its meaning, about its ending. This is an extremely important point. After all, we all live in a hustle and bustle, and we try not to think about these topics. Meanwhile, these topics are extremely important for any person. Participating in a funeral service allows you to stop for a few minutes and look inside yourself. Indeed, at this moment we have before us not only a loved one whose soul has gone to God, but also an image of our own future, our death. And here a person present at the funeral service can understand that life must be valued, we must grow spiritually, we must think about what awaits us beyond this line, after the funeral service.
The consciousness of an unbeliever is structured in such a paradoxical way that the death of others seems to him, although regrettable, a completely consistent fact, a logical pattern. At the same time, he does not allow the thought that the same thing could happen to him. And if he admits it, he tries not to pay attention to it, does not let this thought pass through himself. The consciousness of an atheist becomes like this because it is outside of God, it cannot even see the present, much less see such a “terrible” future. Fear and a false sense of exclusivity block such people from understanding the finitude of their existence in this world.
Nowadays, people often try to hide the body of the deceased, hold the funeral as quickly as possible and forget about it. That is, get rid of memories of death as soon as possible...
This tradition came to us from the West, where they try to remove or disguise everything that spoils life and prevents us from enjoying it. In Europe and America, it is now customary to immediately dispose of dead bodies, hiding them in morgues. And even the traditions of wakes and memorial services are gradually becoming a thing of the past there. The people behind the modeling of a godless and immoral consumer society were able to impose on the population of Western countries the false idea that all this, as they call it, “negativity” has a destructive effect on human consciousness. And a person does not know what death is, does not think about it, does not prepare for it. That is, a person lives in a world with a distorted reality, where the illusion of the absence of death is imposed on him. But the reality is that a person still faces death. And he is completely unprepared for it. This tragedy shakes all his ideas about life and puts him in a state of grief. But, if you look at it, nothing special happened. These rose-colored glasses imposed by consumer society simply broke.
Some psychologists argue that the sight of a dead body harms the child's psyche. Therefore, many parents try to protect their children from funerals and wakes.
These would-be specialists forget that for centuries children have ALWAYS been present at the funerals of relatives, friends, and fellow villagers. Previously, people lived communally, in large villages. And the dead were buried by the whole world. And funerals in large villages happened very often. And the children were not afraid, but understood that death is part of life. And they were all right mentally. They then worked all their lives, raised their children, did not get involved in drugs, did not go to prison, did not become degenerates, such as today’s skinheads, emo, goths, etc. And their psyche, unlike modern children, was much stronger. And psychologists were not known then either; people themselves coped well with problems.
It’s terrible that they began to hide death from children. First, they get scared because they feel that something important is being hidden from them. When adults mumble something like “grandfather is no more, and you don’t need to see this,” and they themselves cry, for a child the concept of “death” becomes horror. And, of course, he does not perceive it as part of life or birth into Eternity. He begins to perceive death as a catastrophe. But he will have to face it many times in his life, and not only with someone else’s, but also with preparation for his own death. And those false ideas that his parents imposed on him in childhood, when they hid the deceased from him, will have a very bad effect on his mental state.
A child must see that our nature is passionate, perishable and mortal. And in the funeral service for the deceased, we should see another lesson, for ourselves and for our children! This great lesson is that the newly deceased shows by his example what will happen to us. And this gives all people present at the funeral the opportunity to once again think about the frailty of their existence, about the true meaning of life, about the vector of their development.
In what cases can a funeral service be held in absentia?
Initially, priests held services over dead soldiers with only a handful of earth from their burial place. But today the tradition of soul cleansing has spread to other categories of citizens:
- - prisoners who died while serving their sentences;
- — patients of closed dispensaries (psychoneurological disorders, infectious diseases, tuberculosis, etc.);
- — victims of accidents, disasters, terrorist attacks and natural disasters.
The number of people entitled to an absentee funeral service includes those who have died with diagnosed infectious diseases that pose a threat to others. Consent to perform the ceremony can also be obtained if the deceased was buried in another country or if the remains are being reburied.
In any delicate situation, negotiations with the clergy, as well as related preparatory work, will be carried out by specialists from a funeral agency that provides a full range of funeral services.
The deathly following of worldly bodies
The first misconception associated with the funeral service is the incorrect secular name of this rite, since in the Trebnik it is known as the “mortal succession of worldly bodies.” This prayer ritual is called the funeral service in the world due to the fact that a significant part of its prayers are not spoken, but sung. The clergy do not see anything wrong with the fact that this rite is called an alternative word in society; the main thing for them is that people understand the importance of this sacred rite for the souls of deceased relatives.
Reasons for refusal to perform a funeral service in absentia
Despite the fact that in most cases priests go to meet relatives halfway, in some situations the ritual of soul cleansing is strictly prohibited. In particular, it is not performed on those who:
- - was baptized during life (including over infants);
- - professed a different faith;
- - denied the existence of God;
- - made a written request not to perform Orthodox rituals over his body;
- - was not declared dead (missing).
The burial ceremony is performed only once. If the remains have been exhumed and are to be reburied, they will not be buried again.
Also, a church minister may refuse if there are no obstacles to holding an in-person service.
Is it possible to perform funeral services for drunkards, drug addicts and suicides?
Nowadays the Church considers drunkards and drug addicts to be vicious people. But you can have a funeral service for vicious people. This category does not include people who commit suicide. The Church does not perform funeral services for suicides. The only exceptions are those cases where the suicide was mentally ill. Then the Church can perform the funeral service for the deceased, but first his relatives will need to obtain special permission from the diocesan administration.
To perform a funeral service for a suicide is absurd and stupid. There is no point in this. You can deceive the diocesan administration or the priest, but no one is able to deceive God.
So, the desire to perform a funeral service for a suicide or an unbeliever at any cost is madness. May the Lord protect them from such blasphemy.
There is no point in holding a funeral service for an unbeliever. As for drunkards, bandits and drug addicts, they could be weak people or people tainted by vices, but at the same time, hope for correction and reconciliation with God could live in their souls. Yes, their passions raged, yes, they were to blame for many things, but they recognized God. And He himself will decide the future fate of these people...
Non-believers, atheists, agnostics, occultists made their choice during their lifetime. And we must respect this choice, even if it seems terrible to us.
What if a person was an unbeliever, but did not openly insult God or speak out against Him? He simply did not believe in Him in his soul.
No, there are no passive atheists. God is involved in the life of every person. He knocks on every soul. God would not be fair if He did not give each of us the opportunity to come to Him. There are moments in the life of any person when he is given the opportunity to feel the care and love of God. For example, one person was seriously ill as a child, but then miraculously recovered. The other would definitely have died in the disaster, but survived. There are a great many examples of such miraculous healings and salvations that do not fit into the average values of probability theory.
Let's think about how many times in our entire lives each of us could perish and die? Tragic accidents can happen anywhere and anytime. Every day, every car, every person walking towards us could theoretically bring death. But she passes by. But has the atheist now lying in front of us in a coffin ever thought about this? And if he thought about it, then why didn’t he turn for help to the One who controls all accidents? No! It seemed to him unnecessary and unprofitable. Recognizing God would disrupt his plans, break his desires, and deprive him of some opportunities (usually not good ones). And he decided to ignore God, close his eyes and walk past Him.
How does an absentee funeral take place?
The order of prayers remains unchanged, no matter how the ritual cleansing of the soul is performed. But if the body of the deceased is missing, the ritual is performed over a handful of earth. As a rule, relatives collect it at the grave of the deceased being buried. If the body is buried in another country, you can take soil from the burial site of one of the relatives.
Upon completion of the burial ceremony, the soil is returned to its place, scattered in the form of a cross. If it is necessary to perform a funeral service for the deceased during exhumation, this is done before the remains are raised, and the funeral soil is then poured over the shroud.
Who is not customary to have a funeral service?
The church rule says that you cannot perform a funeral service:
- babies,
- unbaptized
- persons who indicated in their will their reluctance to be inveterate,
- Gentiles,
- heterodox (non-Orthodox Christians),
- criminals killed while committing a crime,
- suicide
For the latter, there is only one exception: if the fact of committing suicide in a state of insanity or mental disorder can be proven. In such cases, the priest has the right to demand from relatives or loved ones a medical document confirming this.
The funeral service for a baptized person who during his lifetime was an unbeliever, an agnostic or an atheist is possible only if this fact is hidden from the priest. The priest’s refusal to perform a funeral service for such people is rather a mercy towards the person who made such a choice and respect for this choice, no matter how terrible it may seem. It is difficult to imagine what awaits such a person when meeting God: disappointment, torment, suffering... but clearly not what he expected, denying or rejecting Him.
As for drug addicts and alcoholics, the Church allows them, as vicious people, to perform funeral services.
