Bible Questions and Answers
Published September 27, 2014
Is “lying” always sinful? There is an expression “white lie”. Obviously, lying and deception are sins. The Bible contains so many examples of lies! As a rule, a lie is an excuse for one’s sinful behavior. However, let me describe a scenario in which the threat of even greater evil may motivate us to resort to lying as the best choice for the time being. Imagine that a burglar breaks into your house and asks if your children are at home? It would be stupid to tell the truth, right?
Answer:
White lie
Christ clearly characterizes the devil as the founder of lies: when he tells a lie, he speaks his own way, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).
“A lie for salvation” is a distorted quote from Psalm 32: A horse lies for salvation, but in the abundance of its strength it will not be saved (Ps. 33:16–17), in Russian: A horse is unreliable for salvation. (Lozh is a Church Slavonic masculine adjective, translated in the Synodal Version as “unreliable”). Another example of the use of the same word: I said in my anger: every man is a liar (Ps. 115:2), that is, again, “unreliable.”
A lie is unnatural and contrary to salvation “A lie closes the door to prayer. A lie drives faith out of a person’s heart. The Lord moves away from the person who lies” (St. Theophan the Recluse). As for the so-called comforting lie, it is often due to a person’s inability or unwillingness to present the truth to his interlocutor to the extent and in the form in which he is able to accept it. Sometimes you don't have the wisdom or courage to do this. Hence the justificatory surroundings for the lie that happened: a lie for salvation, a lie for the sake of peace or mercy, etc.
Sometimes you hear arguments that lying is necessary. For example, to hide someone from enemies or to let a person die in peace. This is deceit.
Only a person with a limited vocabulary does not know that it is not at all necessary to always give an exclusively affirmative or negative answer. Listen to the speeches of politicians: they are often asked about one thing, and they answer about something completely different. Sometimes children ask naively unceremonious questions, but we have never heard a direct answer to them. In any situation, it is possible to avoid answering, you can remain silent or declare that you refuse to answer. Sure, lying is easier, but it is not the solution for a Christian.
It’s more scary when people lie to a dying person, afraid of “reactivating” his soul and conscience on his deathbed. Let a person die for eternity, as long as he doesn’t get nervous and worry, hoping that he still has time...
“There is nothing in between Truth and falsehood, but just as someone who is outside the light will, of necessity, be in darkness, so someone who has deviated a little from the Truth will be subject to lies if we speak the truth; and although it is possible to say that between light and darkness there is a middle - called evening and morning twilight, however, between Truth and falsehood, no matter how hard anyone tries, he will not invent something in between” - St. Mark of Ephesus.
If we did not have enough faith, or we doomed ourselves to a situation where the only choice left is between a greater and a lesser sin, then we will follow the advice of Abba Dorotheus: “when such a great need arises to deviate from the word of truth, then even then a person should not remain careless, but must repent and cry before God and consider such an occasion as a time of temptation.”
Examples
Hasek Yaroslav (1883 – 1923)
“The Adventures of the Good Soldier Schweik” (1923, translation by P.G. Bogatyrev (1893 – 1971)), part 4, chapter. 1:
“From the time when he was called to General Fink, he tried several times to renounce all earthly pleasures, citing a sore stomach. He believed that this was a white lie and that it would save his soul from the torments of hell.”
Chekhov Anton Pavlovich (1860 – 1904)
"Ariadne" (1895):
“What kind of aunt were you talking about just now? What kind of aunt?
“ That’s a white lie ,” Ariadne laughed. “They shouldn’t know that I’m without a companion.”
“Fatherlessness” (1878), d. 4 yavl. 10:
“Tell her that you love her, that you consider her to be your wife! Calm her down for Christ's sake! Misha! There are lies for salvation."
Righteous anger
From the Holy Scriptures we know that Christ was angry with the merchants in the Jerusalem temple. John the Baptist was angry when he called the Pharisees who came to him brood of vipers, that is, brood of vipers, and asked them: who inspired you to flee from the future wrath
? These are all signs of anger that is sinless, anger that is born of a feeling of hatred for sin, but love for the sinner and the desire for his salvation.
The Orthodox teaching about man says that anger, as a natural ability of the soul, was given to man along with such powers as reason and love. Anger is like a watchdog assigned to guard the house. If he gnaws at thieves and robbers without any mercy, such a dog is worthy of praise as a helper and protector. But if he begins to attack guests and random passers-by, then he is engaged in sabotage.
The Holy Fathers have the concept of “righteous anger,” when anger is aimed at fighting passions and is the immune force of the soul.
Therefore, while warning in every possible way against unrighteous anger towards people, the saints did not reject anger itself, but only called for giving it the right direction. Saint John Chrysostom said: “Are you angry? Be like this in relation to your sins, beat your soul, scourge your conscience, be a strict judge and a formidable punisher of your own sins - this is the benefit of anger, for this God put it in us.”
“Irritability, or the furious part of the soul,” said St. Macarius of Optina, “was given to us not in order to be angry with our neighbor, but to have zeal against sin.”
How not to deal a heavy blow with the bitter truth, but also not to lie?
Photo: Pixabay.com
To understand how you can not cause harm with the bitter truth, but also not outright lie, which is a sin, you need to remember the moments of conversations and relationships with small children. It is to children that parents explain everything in near-thematic terms and do not give clear, frank answers to tricky questions. It is necessary to clearly understand that if a person tries to live according to the Lord’s Commandments, shows love and compassion for his neighbors, then he always tries to find the right words in order to do without blatant lies.
Yes, given the fact that the 21st century is the century of lies, it is difficult to always tell the truth to everyone, but you need to try to find the right words so as not to hurt or lie. If you still cannot find the right words, then you need to pray intensely and ask God for forgiveness that a lie was uttered from a person’s lips. To avoid false phrases and empty words, you must always remember one simple truth - silence is golden. Before you say anything to another person, you need to think it over carefully, maybe then you’ll be able to find the right words and won’t have to lie. You need to understand that the consequences of lying are always very unpleasant, so it is better to refrain from answering at all than to lie.
White envy
Envy is grief for the well-being of one's neighbor. We are commanded by God to avoid envy through the prophet and God-seer Moses in the 10th commandment. Envy cannot be white. Envy will always remain envy, no matter what color we paint it.
“White envy” can be considered the type of it that is described in the Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish - I don’t want someone else’s, I want the same thing. The outcome of this tale is well known.
What is meant by white envy is fully expressed by the wonderful word rejoicing.
White lies - opinions of the holy fathers
Photo: Shutterstock.com
When asking the church fathers whether lying can serve for good, a positive answer is clearly not to be expected. The clergy say the following about this issue:
- the direct truth is not always saving, but it is a signal that you do not need to answer directly, you should find the right words or avoid answering, and not outright lie;
- if a person is conscientious and clumsily deceives his interlocutor, then this will have consequences for him much worse than the spoken bitter truth;
- most often, lies are used to cover up some crime or to avoid punishment, so there clearly cannot be any benefit from it;
- It is acceptable to deviate from the truth a little if you need to inform a person about a fatal illness or to shelter an innocent person from persecution, but still, this is not the best choice for a Christian;
- There is no such thing as a white lie, but hiding information from a person that he shouldn’t know can save him.
Many clergy believe that even if someone is going to tell a white lie, this is unacceptable. It is better not to tell a person anything or not to answer specifically, than to kill with the truth or give hope in vain with a beautiful lie.
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Nora Roberts - White Lies
Nora Roberts
White lie
Joanna, best friend in the world
Part I
Falsity
True pain is caused not by the lies that come to mind, but by the ones that remain in it.
Francis Bacon
1
In the big house - and in her mind she would probably always call it that - Shelby walked into her husband's office and sat down in a massive leather chair behind a solid desk. The chair is a deep coffee color. Not brown, no. Espresso colors. In this regard, Richard was extremely scrupulous. The table itself is also not easy. Presentable, sparkling with polish, made of African zebrawood wood, and by special order in Italy.
I remember Shelby then joked: it turns out that zebras are also found in Italy. And with what gaze Richard greeted this innocent joke! This look could be interpreted something like this: a luxurious mansion, luxurious clothes, a weighty diamond on your left ring finger - and you are still the same simpleton Shelby-Ann Pomeroy, who barely escaped from the remote provincial town in Tennessee where she was born and raised. From rags to riches. Classic case.
But there was a time when her husband would have laughed at this joke, she thought now. He would have guessed that she was joking and laughed, as if she were the light in his window. However, her light dimmed for him long ago, and this happened, God knows, offensively soon.
They met on a starry summer night five years ago. This man instantly won her heart, took her out of her usual environment and opened up a completely different world, one that she could not even imagine.
He treated her like a princess, showing her places that she had only read about in books or seen in movies. And there was a time he loved her, didn’t he? It is important not to forget about this. She was loved and desired and had everything a woman could dream of. Richard refused her nothing.
Provided. This was the word he used most often. He provided for her.
Yes, he was angry when he found out about her pregnancy. His gaze at that moment even frightened her. For a moment. But he took her as his wife, right? And long before pregnancy. He rushed off to Las Vegas - as if they had the romance of a lifetime.
Then they were happy. We also need to remember this. We must hold on to the memories of better times with all our might.
A woman widowed at twenty-four cannot do without memories.
A woman who has learned that her entire life from beginning to end was riddled with lies, who found herself not just broke, but in astronomical debts, such that it is impossible to imagine, needs something that would remind her of better times.
Lawyers and financiers explained to Shelby that she was deeply in debt. True, expressions such as “raising borrowed funds,” “hedge funds,” and “seizure of property by the creditor bank” were Chinese letters for her. The big house that filled her with awe when she first crossed its threshold, as it now turns out, does not belong to her at all. Or it belongs only to a tiny fraction, and most of it is the property of the mortgagor. The cars, as they explained to her, were not bought, but leased, and since the payments were overdue, she now had no rights to them.
Furniture? Bought on credit, payments are overdue.
And also taxes. Shelby couldn't even think about it. The thought of taxes filled her with horror.
Two months and eight days have passed since Richard's death, and all this time she seemed to do nothing but delve into such things that he always urged her not to bother herself with - they say, this is not her concern. And it’s none of her business, as the same arrogant look said very clearly.
And now all this has become her concern. And it was her business, since she found herself owing such amounts to her creditors, the mortgage company, and the United States government that she felt tetanus at the thought of it.
But you can’t fall into a stupor. She has a child. Daughter. There's nothing more important than Callie. Just three years old, Shelby thought. The thought of her daughter made her want to lay her head on this luxurious table and cry out loud.
- You can't cry. Now she only has you, and whatever needs to be done, you will do it! – Shelby ordered herself out loud.
She opened the box - there were several of them. This one was labeled “Personal Documents.” Presumably, lawyers and tax officials took everything, went through it, and made copies of everything.
Now she will go through everything. Maybe something else can be saved. For Callie.
We need to find money in any way to pay off all our debts and also have enough to live on for ourselves and our child. Of course, she will go to work, but this will clearly not be enough.
In fact, Shelby was always indifferent to money. She thought about this as she began to look through bills for suits, shoes, restaurants and hotels. And for private jets. She realized her indifference to money at the end of the first, stormy year of their marriage, after the birth of Callie.
With the advent of Callie, all her desires came down to one thing - to have her own home.
Shelby paused and looked around Richard's office. The flashy colors of his favorite paintings, typical examples of modern art. Dazzling white walls - he believed that it was against such a background that these same paintings looked more advantageous. Dark wood and leather tones.
It is unlikely that this mansion can pass for a home. And it was never her home. It never will be, she thought, even if she lives here for eighty years, and not the measly three months that have passed since their move.
Richard bought the mansion without consultation and furnished it to his own taste, without asking her preferences. Surprise, he announced, throwing open the doors of this huge house in Villanova, which echoed everywhere. But, as he explained, this is the best suburb of Philadelphia.
Of course, she pretended that the house was nice to her. She felt grateful that she was finally able to settle into a permanent place, even though she was intimidated by the intense colors and high ceilings. The main thing is that Callie will now have a home, she will go to a good school, and walk in a safe area.
The girl will have friends. And so did she, or so Shelby hoped.
But life had its own way, and they no longer had time for all this.
No time. No insurance for ten million dollars either. As it turned out, Richard also lied about her. And he lied about a special fund that he allegedly started in order to save money for his daughter’s education.
But why?
Shelby pushed this question away from herself. She'll never know the answer anyway, so why ask?
You can collect all his suits, shoes, ties and sports equipment, golf clubs, skis. Take it to a thrift store and you’ll be able to get at least some money.
Try to sell what will not be confiscated for debts. At least via the Internet, for that matter. Put it up for sale or advertise. In the end, take it to a pawn shop. It doesn’t matter how, the main thing is to earn at least some money.
And she has a lot of things in her closet that can be sold. And of course, jewelry.
Shelby looked at her diamond, the ring Richard had placed on her finger when they arrived in Vegas. She will leave the engagement ring, but sell this diamond one. She has a lot of things to sell.
For Callie.
She looked through the folders one by one. The computers were confiscated and have not yet been returned to her. But paper is something tangible.
Shelby opened a folder with documents related to everything related to health and medicine.
Her husband took good care of himself, she thought. And then I reminded myself that I needed to give up my country club and fitness center memberships. It somehow slipped her mind. Richard was a man of enviable health, kept in shape and regularly saw doctors.
It will be necessary to throw away all these vitamins and nutritional supplements that he systematically took, Shelby decided and turned over another piece of paper.
There is no need to keep his pills, and there is no need to keep these notes either. This strong man drowned in the Atlantic, just a few miles off the coast of South Carolina, at the age of thirty-three.
All this just needs to be run into the shredder. Richard loved destroying documents this way and even installed a shredder for himself right here in his home office. Why would creditors see the results of his latest blood test or his flu shot record from two years ago? As well as records from the emergency room where he went when he dislocated his finger while playing basketball.
God, that was three years ago! This man destroyed enough papers to fill a mountain range, and he kept the papers about his health so carefully!
Shelby's gaze fell on another piece of paper, this time from four years ago, and she sighed. She wanted to put it aside without looking, but she read the doctor’s name and frowned. This doctor is unknown to her. At that time, it seems, they lived in Houston, in an apartment building, and in general - can you remember all the doctors when they constantly moved from place to place, certainly once a year, or even more often. But this doctor was from New York.
We are so different
If we turn to Sigmund Freud, we will find another justification for the pattern of men cheating. Allegedly, human males obey the call of nature and must do as much as possible to ensure that their species continues. But women don't need this. Their main task is to find a worthy father for future offspring. Therefore, for a long time, a woman has not sought to increase the number of her chosen ones, she simply wants to find the best. It seems to find it. But it happens that after a while she realizes that it is not him. The result is disappointment and the search for a new partner. Female infidelity is always serious and about feelings.
Silence is gold
You have chosen marriage. They repented and decided not to say anything. Is this a lie? Most likely yes. No person is perfect, we all make mistakes. You honestly assessed your actions and made your choice.
By repenting and keeping your secret, you begin to look at your partner and your relationship in a new way.
You now clearly understand what it means to destroy and that the word “never” is very fragile. This may well become the very road to a new conscious and happy life next to your loved one. cheated on a lie
The path to adultery
Love
The standard plot is a nice neighbor, colleague, family friend. A man who pays more attention than his spouse. A couple of glances, as if filled with meaning, several “chance” meetings, an intimate conversation - these circumstances may well lead to breakfast together in bed. This is a story about lack of attention. About dislike, about emotional abandonment, in which that truly feminine energy that can awaken in a man the desire to move mountains for the sake of his beloved is impossible.
The mistake is that a woman sincerely assumes that a man has the gift of reading thoughts. Instead, it is best to initiate a calm conversation and voice all your emotional needs. There is nothing shameful or unimportant here.
Mismatch of sexual temperaments
It's no secret that sex is the most important component of a relationship. Physical intimacy is one of the important sources of happiness hormones, without which human health is at risk. Strengthening the neural pathways responsible for sexuality, the production of oxytocin, which promotes trusting relationships - it's all about sex. The absence of problems in this area allows us to maintain mutual interest and attraction to each other.
A frank conversation before you decide to dive into the pool can clarify a lot. You are not strangers, you know how to speak openly. And a confidential one-on-one conversation is so sexy.
Revenge
Another of the top reasons for a one-time love affair is “it’s his own fault,” “he started it first,” “he forced me.” Usually these phrases do not demonstrate a reaction to an action, but accumulated resentment. This form of betrayal is more of a provocation and a statement “Well, how do you like it now?” This is a “malignant” version of adultery, and it is unlikely to go unnoticed. And it is doubtful that a woman who cheated for the sake of revenge will hide her act. Even if, due to external circumstances, this is not said openly, she will leave a “trace” of her crime, subconsciously hoping that it will be revealed.
Depressed self-esteem
Emotional devastation, problems with your spouse, lack of confidence in the future. Or perhaps real psychological abuse, turning a woman into a frightened victim. All these are reasons for low self-esteem.
This condition makes you desperately seek confirmation of your importance in the eyes of another man. Goal: to escape and calm down with someone strong next to you. Most often, such problems in the family require the participation of a specialist. A psychologist will help identify the true reasons for such “polygamy” and, perhaps, life will change.
