How to survive grief and loss without breaking down? Approaches to the treatment of adaptation disorders and psychosomatic disorders.

"God! Give me patience to endure what I must endure, strength to change what I must change, and intelligence to separate one from the other” (Prayer of King David).

Often, people who have experienced severe stress in the recent past come to see a neurologist - the death of a loved one, moving from another city or country with a change in the entire environment, divorce, betrayal of a friend, death of a beloved pet, loss of a job, serious illness or surgery that left serious consequences. consequences, etc.

Different people have different stresses: one person’s house burned down - he did not grieve for long and built a new one, another cannot recover for several years after a much less serious loss... Adaptation happens differently for everyone. But its disorders are often combined with psychosomatic disorders.

Patients suffering from a grief reaction that has not been fully experienced, for various reasons, do not want to go to a psychologist or psychotherapist - they do not believe in verbal treatment, are afraid to open their souls to a stranger, or believe that their poor health has nothing to do with stress and strive to find another reason. They can go from one doctor to another for months (gastroenterologists, cardiologists, allergists, and sometimes surgeons often encounter such patients), never finding relief for their condition, because the cause of their suffering lies not in the physical, but in the psychological, mental sphere ...

What do these patients usually complain about to the neurologist?

The most common complaint is insomnia . It is difficult for them to fall asleep, sleep can be intermittent, the patient wakes up at 4-5 o'clock in the morning and then cannot fall asleep, although he needs to get up for work at 7.

Headache is also a common symptom. Patients may have dull, aching and pressing, monotonous headaches of moderate intensity (although there may be more severe pain), sometimes they feel heaviness in the head, staleness, difficulty concentrating, memory and performance deteriorate .

Some patients notice that they have become more irritable, anxious, or, on the contrary, more lethargic and apathetic.

Sometimes the patient complains of dizziness, which is felt inside the head; such dizziness can occur spasmodically in the subway, elevators, airplanes, large supermarkets, or simply when going outside from home.

Very often, patients may experience constant pain in the lumbar, thoracic or cervical spine. And, despite small and harmless changes revealed by X-ray or tomography of the spine, the use of various medicinal and non-medicinal treatment methods (tablets and injections, physiotherapy, massage, acupuncture, etc.), the pain does not go away.

Only with careful and confidential questioning is it possible to find out that the patient is depressed by the psychological trauma that happened, he is often (or constantly) in a bad mood, he has forgotten how to enjoy life as before, he does not see prospects in the current situation...

An experienced doctor understands that stress contributes to a decrease in the body's adaptive reserve, and other chronic diseases may also worsen in the patient - for example, peptic ulcer disease, chronic pancreatitis, psoriasis or rheumatoid arthritis. Stress provokes the occurrence of type 2 diabetes mellitus, essential arterial hypertension, autoimmune thyroiditis and other diseases.

But in our patient, all blood, urine, ultrasound, gastroscopy and other examinations are normal or slightly changed and cannot explain the patient’s poor health.

Prayer helps you not give up

Sometimes life throws up such surprises that a person, even a strong one, has a very hard time. He struggles like a fish against ice, but he can’t cope with the situation. And then one gives up, and despair fills the soul. In the face of such sad events, one should resort to prayer.

Prayer for quick help will ensure that a person, having received support from the Lord, will not give up, but will continue to fight and cope with problems. The prayer in question is not intended to be said at any time. It has great power and is needed in emergency situations. And you cannot abuse it.

How to help a patient? What to do?

  1. You should know that the grief reaction, regardless of the cause that caused it, goes through several stages:
      Stage 1 - denial. “No, this can’t be!” - the patient thinks. The feeling of unreality, the impossibility of what is happening is a frequent sensation during this period...
  2. Stage 2 - anger. “Why did this happen to me?”, “This shouldn’t have happened to me!” - the suffering person is indignant.
  3. Stage 3 - immediate feeling of grief, grief, sadness. A person must mourn his loss, then he will feel better.
  4. Stage 4 - adaptation to new living conditions, filling the void, establishing new meanings and goals in life, new relationships.
  5. Normally, the grief reaction under severe stress goes through all stages within a year. In the case of extremely stressful situations (death of a spouse or child), the grief reaction resolves within 2-3 years. If a person cannot live fully after this period, he often has “flashbacks” - memories of the departed, of a stressful situation (we are not talking about forgetting about the departed loved one! - only about continuing to live normally and work without constantly being immersed in memories of the grief event), a pathological grief reaction appears to be taking place.
  6. The task of the doctor, to whom a patient came with an unresolved grief reaction, is to help him survive and go through those stages that he could not go through on his own and help him adapt to life in a new life situation.
  7. If a patient has an unresolved grief reaction accompanied by mental and physical symptoms of depression, antidepressant therapy may be necessary.

In the treatment of patients with adaptation disorders and psychosomatic disorders due to an unresolved grief reaction, it is necessary to provide not only pharmacological, but also psychological assistance.

The multidisciplinary CELT clinic employs highly qualified, experienced specialists. You can seek help from a neurologist, psychoneurologist, or psychologist. Timely contact with a specialist is the key to your future health. We are always happy to help!

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Accept as an invaluable gift short prayers for terrible ailments, which include anger, hatred, resentment and malice.

Without noticing it ourselves, we become angry, offended by those closest to us and terribly hating our worst enemies.

We try to justify ourselves with quotes from misconceptions, other religions and scriptures, where “an eye for an eye” is considered a good decision.

In holy Orthodoxy, the Lord God commands us to forgive our enemies, let go of grievances, and not waste our anger on those next to us.

For these sorrows, the soul becomes callous, and hatred fills every cell.

To cope with such ailments, it is necessary to periodically read special prayers, not necessarily addressed to the Lord God.

They can be addressed to Blessed Matrona, Nicholas the Wonderworker and the Most Holy Theotokos.

When you feel anger, overwhelming hatred or malice, at the most appropriate time, retire to a locked room to read these short prayers.

Light at least one candle. If you have holy water, fill the cup. Place any available icons nearby.

Calm down a little and begin to slowly pray.

Prayer for resentment.

,,Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. Deliver me from resentment towards my neighbor by order of the Most High God. Let it be so. Amen."

Cross yourself heartily and drink holy water.

Prayer for anger.

,,Wonderworker Nikolai, calm down my exorbitant anger, clear the wrong road. Thy will be done. Amen."

Prayer for anger.

,,Wonderworker Nicholas, pacify my anger and attack, do not let me fall into sin. Thy will be done. Amen."

Prayer for hatred.

,,Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. Forgive me for the hatred that strikes me, cleanse my aching soul from anger. Save me from hellish shackles. And now, and forever, and forever and ever. Amen."

Reading these short prayers will not take you much time.

At the command of the Lord God, anger will subside, resentment will be dissipated, and evil hatred will be replaced by generosity.

Prayer for forgiveness of enemies.

When things get especially difficult for us, we turn to God for help. And it is not at all necessary to know certain prayers here. We can express in our own words what lies like a stone in our soul and ask for salvation from the Almighty. The answer to the question of how to forgive an offense and let go is clear. We need to open and read the Bible more often, and follow the commandments given in it. The Lord teaches us that we must love our neighbor as ourselves, no matter what, that we must forgive our enemies, no matter what offense they inflict on us. This is necessary first of all for the offended person himself.

A prayer with which you can turn to God could be like this:

“Lord, our father, I ask you, give me strength to forgive the people who have offended me. You, O Merciful One, taught us: “Love your enemies. Bless everyone who curses you. Do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who offend and persecute you.” Give me the spiritual strength to forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. Help me to be reconciled with those who have offended me in my soul. Let me find the joy of forgiveness."

You need to repeat this every day. And then you will no longer have questions about how to forgive an offense. Prayer saves you from empty worries and worries.

How to forgive your loved one and let go?

How many tears are shed when love leaves! It’s very difficult after something like this to forget the betrayal of your significant other and start life anew. It is especially difficult for women in such situations. These tips will teach them how to forgive a man for his offense, let him go and start life from scratch:

• give him all his things, remove all photographs together so that nothing reminds you of him;

• take two weeks off and fly to warm countries to relax;

• try not to isolate yourself, go to the movies, cafes, clubs, somewhere where there are a lot of people, where life is in full swing;

• call your best friend for help, talk to her, cry, you will immediately feel better;

• write on a piece of paper all the shortcomings of your ex-lover, remembering all the bad things that are associated with him, tear the piece of paper and mentally say goodbye to this “scoundrel”.

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Illness, poverty

If you or a child, mother, father are sick, of course you need to call a doctor and pray. Expecting a response result should be understood. God hears our prayers, but he may have his own plans. This disease is sometimes given as a punishment for a sin committed or a way to take a person away from life. Maybe God decided that the person had completely gone his way and would not give recovery.

We must pray, understanding what we ask, but God acts according to his will. This is how Jesus prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane on the eve of the crucifixion. He asked the Father to carry this cup of suffering past Him. However, at the end he added, Thy will be done!

The same thoughts should be put into prayer when asking for prosperity for your family. After all, we always want to be well-fed and clothed. But God knows better. Maybe, by not giving you great wealth, it protects you from terrible misfortune. Remember how many “new Russians” who suddenly became rich died in the dashing nineties.

Maybe you should switch to cheaper products, get through the difficult days and start working, planting a garden, after all. Those who are not afraid to take on any job do not starve: a janitor, a carpenter, a baker, a tailor. There are not many ministerial positions in the country.

Perfect sin

Having committed some kind of offense, a decent person is tormented by remorse. Read below for an example of prayers appropriate in this case.

“O Christ, Lamb of God, help me to hate sin and vice more and more, looking at Your terrible torment. Today, my grateful heart finds hope in Your words, comfort in Your promises, and salvation in Your perfect work on the cross, through which You defeated sin, Satan and death.” "Lord have mercy. Christ, have mercy. Lord, hear my prayer. Amen."

Prayer to the Mother of God for healing from severe mental pain

One should not turn to the holy face over trifles, although the mercy of the Mother of God and her love for the entire human race know no bounds. The miraculous words of this prayer penetrate into the very heart and heal from the inside. It is advisable to read it near the icon “Joy of All Who Sorrow.” Every believer will receive consolation, even if the person is on the verge of a nervous breakdown and is ready to commit irreversible actions.

To my queen, my hope, to the Mother of God, friend of the orphans, and strange intercessors, those who grieve with joy, those who are offended by the patroness! See my misfortune, see my sorrow; help me as I am weak, feed me as I am strange. Weigh my offense, resolve it like a will; for I have no other help but You, no other intercessor, no good comforter, except You, O Mother of God, for you will preserve me and cover me forever and ever. Amen.

How to get rid of despondency Orthodoxy

The Orthodox Church is inclined to believe that despondency and despair are caused by sins and wrong behavior in the past. Therefore, in order to get rid of this feeling, you need to come to confession and repent of your sins before the priest, tell him about the problem and ask for advice.

Some priests are of the opinion that despair sets in if a person loses faith, begins to rely too much on himself and on other people, forgetting about God.

The main sins that can lead to despair can be the following violations of God’s commandments:

  1. The creation of an idol is blind faith in a person, an idea or signs, placing great hopes on them, which can lead to despair.
  2. Serious sin in the past (murder, attempted suicide, destruction of someone else's family, abortion).
  3. Drunkenness or drug addiction.
  4. Pride, excessive arrogance.

Prayer for despondency by John of Kronstadt

John of Kronstadt created a prayer out of fear and despondency.

Its exact text is indicated in the prayer book; for an understandable text of the prayer, see below:

“The Lord will destroy my despondency and give me strength in any situation in life. Glory to You, You are deliverance from despondency and despair, a holy life-giving source, filling Me with the strength and love of heaven. Glory to Thee, Tri-Hypostatic Lord, Who bestows all understanding and love, Amen.”

Prayer text

People read it at those moments when everything is shrinking inside them from despair. When they simply have no idea how to live further and need powerful support. When such a difficult situation occurs, you need to close your eyes, let go of all the burdens within yourself and hopefully say an appeal for urgent help:

My Creator, the Most High Lord God! I beg You, according to Your holy will, provide me with urgent help, without delay for the sake of Your name.

God! Hear, Lord! Forgive me, Lord! Hearken and do it, do not hesitate, for Your own sake, my God. Help me to see Your obvious intervention and urgent help in (state the reason).

Lord, I know that You are a very present help in troubles, and therefore I run to You and know that You will hasten to my aid.

And with all my heart I will glorify You now, then and in eternity - the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I believe in Your promise: “Ask and it will be given to you!” and I thank You for responding urgently to my request according to Your will.

Prayer for longing for a loved one

In Orthodoxy there are no prayers for longing for a loved one - usually the church in such a situation offers prayers for sorrow, despondency and despair.

Women can pray for a successful marriage and mutual love in front of the icons of Matrona of Moscow, Xenia of Petebrurga, or in front of any image of the Mother of God.

If separation from a loved one is caused by rivalry or enmity, then they pray in front of the icon of the Mother of God of Seven Arrows (depicted with daggers).

Prayers and canons to St. Nicholas the Wonderworker or Paraskeva Pyatnitsa help.

Betrayal, resentment

Jesus was also betrayed. When he was executed, only his mother and his only disciple were at the cross. Peter betrayed him three times. Judas sold for thirty pieces of silver.

And everyone knows how they offended him. They crucified him because he wanted to save the world and wished the best for everyone.

It is useful to remember this when you are worried about resentment and betrayal.

It is good at such moments to bless your offenders in your prayers. Ask God for judgment. After all, he is righteous, and you are sinners. He sees and understands the situation better. Leave the vengeance to Him, He will repay. The Bible says: “I will repay!”

Such a prayer will calm you down and protect you from the desire for revenge. The consequences are often unpredictable. You will be able to see how the Almighty himself will punish the traitor. After all, God sometimes blesses us with a brick to the head during an earthquake. At the same time, your conscience will remain clear, not stained by revenge.

Prayer to Tikhon of Zadonsk from despondency

Tikhon Zadonsky created a powerful prayer for depression.

Its exact text is indicated in the prayer book in Old Church Slavonic; the prayer, accessible to understanding, is presented below:

“Oh Saint Tikhon of Zadonsk, Great Saint of Christ! Accept the prayer of the servant of God (your name), free me from self-wisdom and self-righteousness, human malice. Protect from all evil and help you find faith, love, happiness and health, spiritual and physical, may the Grace of God help you overcome any difficulties and get rid of helplessness and despair, amen.”

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