In the dictionary Complete accentuated paradigm according to A. A. Zaliznya
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Meaning of the word condole
Examples of the use of the word condole in literature.
The mocking, sarcastic French court, naturally, is not content with a sympathetic statement of misfortune; it continuously sniffs out all the details; it must know how Marie Antoinette rewards herself for the failure of her husband.
“I’m extremely sorry,” I answered with sympathy, “that you in this small house have not all forgotten the sorrows of life.
Last night, while playing chess, Mr. Cardinal, in a tone of condolences that really hurt me, began to tell me that these damned musketeers, these thugs - he pronounced these words with a special mockery, which I liked even less - these grunts, he added, looking at me with the eyes of a wild cat, they stayed later than the permitted hour in a tavern on Feru Street.
The Royal-Imperial Chief Commissioner Trotta von Sipolje received a letter of condolences from His Majesty that same week, in which the still unforgettable services of the deceased were twice mentioned.
Ingunn silently bowed under the hail of Tura's quiet, compassionate words, but when the conversation turned to Olav's atrocities, Ingunn tried to contradict her.
The funeral took place at the Fushimi country estate, I heard that both the sovereign and the princess were present, and I well imagined their grief, but since the man who served as an intermediary between me and the sovereign passed away, I lost all opportunity to tell him and the princess about how sincerely I sympathize with their grief, and I could only silently grieve in my soul.
The thugs and pickpockets were very sorry: “We’ve lost so much property!”
But then the most unexpected thing happened, which struck Lara severely and erupted into a whole chain of the most unforeseen events: Glafira, who was so merciful to Larisa, met her dryly, listened to her with amazement and, strongly regretting the outcome that the matter had taken, advised Lara to immediately send a dispatch after her husband or even follow him to St. Petersburg and try to fix everything.
The noble gentleman leaned his elbows on the desk and, turning to the cashier, said in a sympathetic tone: “It seems you have lost a profitable customer, Master Roberts, and now you are writing him bills?”
Their steps gradually died down, the birds began to sing louder in the crowns of the old trees, Gali’s compassionate voice grew thinner and disappeared sympathetically, calming Lara with unnecessary words, and for some reason these separately heard words seemed to me like mint-yellow spots of the sun, with difficulty breaking through the thick greenery, trembling, shapeless, deceptively unreliable, like absurd stains on a camouflage suit.
From here, everything that we first believed on the basis of authority alone, we begin to understand, imagining it partly as already completely undoubted, and partly as something that can and should be undoubted, and at the same time sympathizing with those unbelievers who wish It is better to ridicule us believers than to believe with us.
But what can I say about those who are so sorry for my glory, who advise me to take care of earning bread?
At the sight of the fallen Soul, all the commanders and warriors began to sympathize with its pitiful state, for they immediately noticed on it the imprint of Diavolos, the oppression and slavery in which he kept his victim.
The whole town seemed to consider it an indispensable duty to torment me, condoling for the capable young man and approving of his commendable behavior regarding his family.
To sympathize with the dejected is a human characteristic, and although it is appropriate for everyone, we especially expect it from those who themselves needed consolation and found it in others.
Source: Maxim Moshkov library
In the dictionary D.N. Ushakova
SYMPATHATE, I sympathize, you sympathize, · disbelieve., someone or something. 1. Treat someone’s feelings, experiences (mostly sorrowful ones) with responsiveness, compassion, empathy (see sympathy" title='what is sympathy, the meaning of the word sympathy in Ushakov's dictionary'>sympathy in 1 meaning) . Sympathize with the victim. I sympathize with someone's misfortune, I grieve. 2. Treat responsively, with sympathy (see sympathy" title='what is sympathy, the meaning of the word sympathy in Ushakov's dictionary'>sympathy in 2 meanings) to someone's undertakings, intentions, thoughts. I don't sympathize with your decision. Sympathize with the initiative shown. 3. To be ideologically close to someone, to adhere to a way of thinking that is close to someone, to support someone’s activities and ideology. Progressive people of the West sympathize with the communist movement.
My condolences…
The culture of condolences has almost been lost in our society. News feeds are full of news about death, but it is not customary for us to talk about death as part of everyday human experience. However, this can be learned... The head of the Center for Crisis Psychology at the Patriarchal Compound - the Church of the Resurrection of Christ on Semenovskaya, Mikhail Khasminsky, told the guests of the anniversary XXV International Christmas Educational Readings about how to speak correctly with a person in a situation of severe loss.
Share the mourner's pain
First of all, you need to understand that sympathy is not a ritual or empty words, but a joint feeling, and condolences are a “shared illness.” By expressing condolences, we make an attempt to take on part of someone else's pain. Condolences can be either oral or written. Just don’t do this in the form of SMS messages - for many, this form of expressing sympathy can simply offend.
Condolence is not easy. Condolence is a risk. Behind the words of sympathy there must be work of the soul; we must be prepared for discomfort, for the fact that a person overwhelmed by grief may react sharply to our words and actions. It must be remembered that unsuccessful forms of expressing sympathy, callous formal words can cause him additional pain, and the invaluable resource of internal strength will be spent not on overcoming the pain of loss, but on… “not killing the sympathizer”…
The sympathizer should not restrain himself in expressing his feelings. It is very effective at such a moment to simply touch the grieving person, hug him, cry next to him, warmly shake his hand. Now, unfortunately, it is not customary to do this, but experience shows that it is much stronger than words. But at the same time, you need to maintain control over yourself in your behavior with the mourner.
To find the necessary sincere words of consolation, you need to think about your attitude towards the deceased, remember the most important moments of his life, remember what he taught, how he helped and what joys he brought into your life. You need to think about the degree of loss and the history of the development of relations with the deceased of those people to whom you are going to express condolences, try to feel their inner state, their feelings.
In word, deed, prayer
We must remember that condolences are not only words, but also actions that can alleviate the situation of a neighbor. Words without deeds are dead. Real help gives words weight and sincerity. Deeds make life easier for the grieving person, and also allow the sympathizer to do a good deed. Only words, even the best and most correct ones, are like a car with a steering wheel but no wheels; real action helps everyone cope with a difficult situation. Do not hesitate to offer help to the grieving person, find out what exactly you can do to support him. We can offer financial help, help with housework, in organizing funerals... And we will also really help a family where grief has occurred if we take the trouble to take care of the children living in this family. Children, at a time when adults are immersed in loss and worries about burial, often find themselves abandoned to the mercy of fate. The child reacts to death with a delay, he may not outwardly express his emotions at all, so it will seem that he is coping perfectly well on his own, and yet it is the children in this situation who are the weakest link. Grief can overtake a child in six months, and those around him will not even understand why he behaves so strangely. This is extremely important: children in this situation should not be left to their own devices.
Sometimes mourners refuse help. There is no need to regard such a refusal as a personal attack against you. A person in this state cannot always correctly assess the situation.
You can help by deed, not only by providing material and organizational assistance, although this is also necessary. Our task can and should be prayer - both for the deceased and for the mourner. You can pray not only at home, but also in church, and submit notes for commemoration. You need to tell the mourner that you will pray, thereby you show that you do not stop communicating with the deceased, that even after death you continue to love him.
Reconcile with the departed
Sometimes our resentment toward the deceased or his relatives prevents us from expressing sincere condolences. In such a state, it is, of course, impossible to express sympathy. Reconciliation is necessary, otherwise our everyday words will cause additional mental trauma to the mourner. And if we forgive the offense from the bottom of our hearts, then the right words will come by themselves.
Here it is appropriate to briefly and tactfully ask for forgiveness for what you consider yourself to be guilty of before the deceased, admit your mistake to relatives and say that you are very grieved that you cannot apologize to him personally.
If nothing comes to mind...
If you need to say something, but the right words just don’t come to mind, you can say some standard phrases, which, of course, will not contain warmth, but which, at least, will not hurt the grieving.
“He meant a lot to me and to you, I mourn with you.”
“Let it be a consolation to us that he gave so much love and warmth. Let's pray for him."
“There are no words to express your sorrow. He meant a lot in your life and mine. Never forget".
“It’s very hard to lose such a dear person. I share your grief. How can I help you? You can always count on me."
“I’m very sorry, please accept my condolences. If I can do anything for you, I will be very glad. I would like to offer my help. I would be happy to help you..."
“Unfortunately, in this imperfect world we have to experience this. He was a bright man whom we loved. I will not leave you in your grief. You can count on me at any moment.”
“This tragedy affected everyone who knew her. Of course, it’s harder for you now than anyone else. I want to assure you that I will never leave you. And I will never forget her. Please, let's walk this path together."
“Unfortunately, I only now realized how unworthy my bickering and quarrels with this bright and dear person were. Excuse me! I mourn with you."
“This is a huge loss and a terrible tragedy. I pray and will always pray for you and for him.”
“It’s hard to put into words how much good he did for me. All our differences are dust. And what he did for me, I will carry with me throughout my life.”
How not to express condolences
pomposity, pathos, and theatricality in condolences in every possible way . A short unsubscribe via SMS is one extreme. But there is another way - to send a long ornate message in verse, which can be found on the Internet in two minutes. Both are equally tactless, and the basis of these two mistakes is the same problem - the unwillingness to work with the soul. We are often prevented from showing sympathy by elementary selfishness, fear of disturbing our own spiritual comfort, as well as a lack of understanding that accepting grief has its own stages.
It is completely inappropriate to offer consolation to the future . “Time will pass, you will give birth again,” “You are beautiful, then you will get married”... The person has not yet really realized his loss, has not mourned the deceased. Maybe in a year it will be possible to say to this girl: “Look, you are so beautiful, take comfort, there will still be family happiness in your life.” But now the grieving person is not interested in the future; the pain of loss in the present is too strong.
A very common prohibition on grief : “Don’t cry, everything will pass.” Or even worse: “Don’t cry, you’ll kill the dead,” “You can’t cry, you’ll anger God,” and even “You’re now neutralizing prayer with tears.” You need to understand that in this situation the principle “don’t cry, it will heal before the wedding” does not work. The mourner will simply hide his emotions and withdraw into himself, which can lead to very severe psychological breakdowns in the future. Usually, a ban on grief arises precisely because of “sympathizers” who are traumatized by the emotions and experiences of the grieving person.
Devaluation and rationalization of loss are completely unacceptable : “He’s better, he was sick and oh, “It’s hard, but you still have children,” “He died because he would have become a bandit.”
Comparing losses should be avoided in every possible way : “It’s even worse for others,” “You’re not the only one.” A grieving person cannot compare his pain with the pain of others.
And of course, in no case should you put pressure on a person’s feelings of guilt : “Eh, if only we had sent him to a doctor...”, “Why didn’t we pay attention to the symptoms,” “If you hadn’t left, then perhaps this would have happened.” did not happen".
* * *
Listening to Mikhail Khasminsky’s speech, I remembered my loss. The news of my father's death caught me two years ago on a train, when I was already approaching my destination. I knew that dad was terminally ill, but I still hoped... My God, for what?! Why did I even go? I remember that at that moment I was for some reason afraid to shock my neighbors in the reserved seat car with my tears. But they treated my grief with understanding. And I will never forget how one girl - I didn’t even recognize her name - simply shook my hand tightly and whispered only one word: “Condolences”...
Newspaper "Orthodox Faith" No. 04 (576)
How to learn empathy?
We have successfully figured out what it means to “sympathize”. How to learn this quality? It’s one thing to talk about how you understand a person in words, and another thing to actually prove it.
To learn to sympathize with your neighbor, you need to understand him. Don’t just sit and listen, nodding your head, but mentally be somewhere far away at this time. No, it is to feel the emotions of the interlocutor at this moment. And worry with him.
This is difficult to learn. We are mostly within ourselves. And it's hard to break out of your own shell. However, it is never too late to learn.
How to spell "condolences" correctly
Correctly spelled: condolences
The issue of verb spelling is decided primarily by its belonging to one of the conjugations. The conjugation of a verb determines its ending in tense, person and number. How to correctly write “condolences,” for example, because in addition to the ending, this verb also has difficult moments, specifically two unstressed “o”s?
What form is the verb “condolence” in, its characteristics
Having examined the infinitive of the verb, namely “to condole,” you can find that it is primarily an active and transitive verb. With both characteristics, after the verb you can put an object/subject to which direct action is directed without a preposition.
It is not enough to sympathize with someone in grief, but to help a person in a tragic situation is already noble!
We sympathize with such sad circumstances, but you can only help yourself.
The verb “condolence” belongs to the I conjugation: remember that with “-at” only “hold/breathe/drive/hear” is the II conjugation. Specifically, “condolences” has a singular form, it is in the present tense, first person.
What word does the verb “condolence” come from, its meaning
The word “disease” immediately comes to mind when asked about the origin of the verb “to condole,” because they have common roots. But no, it’s not that simple! The first word in the chain of development of the word “condolence” is the Proto-Slavic verb “boleti”, which meant - to experience an illness, to feel bad. No related noun was found in the Proto-Slavic version, but “bolzn” appears in the Old Slavonic version. Similar nouns with the same meaning exist in other languages:
- disease - Bulgarian;
- bolezan – Serbo-Croatian;
- bolezen – Slovenian.
The word “disease” has few meanings.
- Illness, poor condition of a living organism.
Almost all diseases of garden trees can be prevented by spraying them with copper sulfate.
The disease has progressed so far that serious, long-term treatment is already required.
- Trouble, disadvantage, vice (allegorical meaning).
The war revealed a whole range of illnesses that plagued the government and the Duma.
The problem with many students is their reluctance to prepare for exams and rely on cheat sheets.
Specifically, the verb “to sympathize” has only one meaning - to show sympathy in grief, to sympathize.
My condolences to you, the death of your spouse is a great loss for all of us.
He sympathized with her so sympathetically, sympathized with her so affectionately, that she calmed down a little.
Spelling of the verb "condolence"
It has already been determined that the verb “to condole” is of the first conjugation, therefore in the singular, present tense and first person it has the ending “-уу”.
The spelling of “o” is fundamentally determined by the test word, so that this vowel becomes stressed, this word is the noun “pain”.
Despite the fact that the word “to be sick” does not exist, “co-” in the verb “to condole”, according to the rules of the Russian language, is still a prefix. Evidence that the “co-” prefix is the obsolete adjective “sick.” There is no prefix “sa-” in the Russian language, but there are a lot of verbs with the prefix “co-”: empathize, participate, assist, correspond. For this reason, the first vowel in the word “condolence” is definitely “o”.
