How to calm a sick soul: advice from psychologists

It is difficult to achieve peace of mind when you have to deal with stress almost daily. To one degree or another, almost everyone is forced to constantly be nervous for various reasons, ranging from eternally dissatisfied bosses to minor everyday problems. By learning a few techniques to calm your mind and relax your body, you can significantly improve your quality of life by becoming a more balanced person.

How to find peace of mind?

Many people understand peace of mind as the ability to not react so sharply to stressful situations and to quickly forget the bad moments of life. This can be achieved by putting the following tips into practice:

• Learn to reduce the importance of problems . The overwhelming number of nervous breakdowns occur due to the fact that a person becomes too fixated on unimportant things. For example, my wife noticed that the balcony door did not close well. She asked her husband to fix it. He initially promised to resolve the issue this coming weekend, but he always had other things to do or just wanted to take a break from work by going fishing. At first his wife nervously reminded him about the broken door, and then in the end everything turned into a scandal. In fact, the problem could be solved easily and simply. Instead of wasting her nerves on a quarrel, the wife should simply have told her husband that if he does not have the time or desire to repair the door, then she will call a repairman. But the wife initially attached great importance to a trivial problem, which became the cause of a family quarrel;
• Make time for your favorite activities . It’s worth devoting at least an hour a day to something that brings you pleasure. For example, reading books, communicating on social networks, etc.;
• Learn meditation or relaxation techniques . Both have their advantages. Meditation is better at freeing the mind from the flow of thoughts, but it takes time to develop the ability to focus on the breath or some object. Relaxation is easier to learn and great for those who suffer from muscle tension at the end of the day;
• Find positive moments in life . Some people are constantly depressed because they only pay attention to the negative. But at the same time they do not notice the positive sides. For example, a person complains that it takes too long to get to work. But it’s worth looking at the situation differently. For example, instead of constantly nervously waiting for your stop, on the subway you can read books from your smartphone that you always didn’t have time for at home.

Special prayers to calm the soul and heart

Nevertheless, out of the entire abundance of Orthodox prayers, there are several that can and should be read specifically to calm the soul and nerves.

Prayer “Virgin Mother of God, rejoice”

First of all, this is the Orthodox prayer “To the Virgin Mary.” A unique feature of this ancient and very powerful prayer is that its text is almost entirely borrowed from the Bible - from the first chapter of the Gospel of Luke. You can read it several times a day, there are no restrictions; read as much as your heart desires. For example, clergy read it 150 times. The impact of this sacred text is very powerful, bringing great spiritual benefits.

Virgin Mother of God, Rejoice, Blessed Mary, the Lord is with You, Blessed are You among women and blessed is the fruit of Your womb, for You have given birth to the Savior of our souls. Amen.

Prayer to Matrona of Moscow

To find peace of mind and peace of mind, you can turn to the saints through prayers. First of all, this applies to Matrona of Moscow. The miraculous power of this saint is recognized by the entire hierarchy of the Russian Orthodox Church, pilgrims come to her relics from different parts of the world, and miracles associated with her name still happen to this day. The calming prayer to Matrona of Moscow sounds like this:

Blessed Elder, Matrona of Moscow. Protect me from nervous hostility, protect me from dire need. May my soul not hurt from thoughts, and may the Lord forgive all my sins. Help me calm my neurosis, let there be no crying of sorrowful tears. Amen.

Prayer to John the Baptist

Baptist of Christ, preacher of repentance, do not despise me who repents, but copulating with the heavenly ones, pray to the Lady for me, unworthy, sad, weak and sad, fallen into many troubles, burdened by the stormy thoughts of my mind. Because I am a den of evil deeds, with no end to sinful customs, my mind is nailed down by earthly things.

What will I do? We don't know. And to whom shall I resort, that my soul may be saved? Only to you, Saint John, give the same name of grace, for you are before the Lord through the Mother of God greater than all those born, for you have been honored to touch the top of the King Christ, who takes away the sins of the world, the Lamb of God.

Pray for my sinful soul, so that from now on, in the first ten hours, I will bear a good burden and accept recompense with the last. To her, the Baptist of Christ, an honest Forerunner, an extreme Prophet, the first martyr in grace, a teacher of fasters and hermits, a teacher of purity and a close friend of Christ!

I pray to you, I come running to you: do not reject me from your intercession, but raise me up, cast down by many sins. Renew my soul with repentance, as with the second baptism, since you are the ruler of both: with baptism wash away the original sin, and with repentance cleanse every bad deed. Cleanse me, defiled by sins, and force me to enter, even if nothing bad enters, into the Kingdom of Heaven. Amen.

What should you avoid?

If a person wants to achieve peace of mind, then he should not:

1. Kill yourself because of your mistakes. Some people, having made a mistake, can reproach themselves for several days, and sometimes even weeks. Self-flagellation is one of the most harmful habits. It is necessary to admit your guilt in making a mistake, but after that you should turn it into a part of life experience, and not a heavy burden;
2. Sleep less . A person does not react so painfully to stressful situations if he gets enough sleep;
3. Holding a grudge against others . Forgiving a person who has committed something mean against you can be difficult. But it is important to understand that with your anger against him you are only playing into his hands. He probably has long forgotten about that unpleasant incident for you and is living a quiet life.

How can you survive severe mental pain?

Here's how you can cope with intense feelings

• Reassess the situation . This is not about rejoicing over a sad event, such as parting with a loved one. You should accept the fact that you now have a deeper understanding of love relationships. This is a valuable skill that helps you avoid mistakes and value more the new loved one who will certainly appear in your life;
• Be active . Often, after a serious shock, a person sits at home for a long time and avoids friends and family. Of course, you can be alone for a while and be sad if you don’t want to show your suffering and tears to others. But if this period is prolonged, then this already creates a negative effect. Share your experiences with at least the person you trust most. Then return to your usual circle of friends and old hobbies. Communication and an active lifestyle will help you take your mind off an unpleasant event;
• Don't hesitate to ask for help . You can discuss the problem that is bothering you with a friend or relative. But we should not forget about the professional help of a psychologist. To some extent, he may even turn out to be better than the same old acquaintance. A psychologist is a neutral party; he will definitely never tell anyone your secret experiences.

Advice from psychologists

How to calm down mentally? Basic advice for people suffering from mental pain:

1. Allow yourself to be unhappy. Show any emotions, do not hold back, especially if there is no justification for it. If you feel like you want to cry, then cry, if you feel that you have no strength for anything, rest, do not increase the existing stress. It’s important not to abandon things completely, but if you really don’t have the strength, do them gradually, slower than usual.
2. Take care of yourself. Monitor your mental and physical state, do not forget to take the medications that were prescribed to you, if you have chronic diseases, do not skip meals, try to get enough sleep.
   Otherwise, during the acute period, your health may deteriorate, and this will further complicate recovery.
3. Do things that bring you joy or at least satisfaction. Think about your hobbies and interests. Even if you don’t feel the desire to do what you love, overcome yourself: interest may awaken in the process. The spiritual energy you receive will help you feel better and more significant. Watch your favorite movies, re-read your favorite book series, spend more time outdoors, chat with friends.

It is always important for a person suffering from mental pain to remember that it will get easier over time , the only important thing is to wait and not allow yourself to sink too much into despair.

It is also important to praise yourself more often , even for minor achievements: this will help maintain motivation.

Remind yourself that even a little activity is more important than no activity at all.

Getting rid of constant stress

A person will not be able to find peace in his soul as long as there is a regular source of stress in his life. It could be anything, for example, an unloved job or an unhappy marriage.

The problem is that it is often difficult for a person to take the decisive step and say goodbye forever to what he has spent many years on. A man could build a career for a long time and endure enormous stress just for the sake of a good salary. And when he realizes that all previous efforts were a mistake, changing his field of activity and starting all over again seems wrong to him.

The same goes for an unhappy marriage. When she got married, the girl hoped to live with her lover for the rest of her life. After a few years, she realizes that it becomes almost impossible to tolerate his infidelities and other shortcomings. Parting for her seems like an even bigger disaster.

If a person has accurately identified the cause of constant stress, then one should not be afraid to get rid of it. Even if this means radically changing your life.

What stages does a person go through?

In psychology, there are five stages that clearly describe the state of a person in whose life something bad has happened.

The theory of the five stages of grief was created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a famous American psychologist.

A person experiencing a traumatic situation goes through the following stages:

1. Negation. At this stage, the psyche is not ready to accept what happened, so the person tends to deny the traumatic event and interpret it differently.
   If, for example, a person finds out that he has a serious illness, he may begin to make assumptions that the doctors made a mistake, mixed up the tests, and undergoes repeated examinations. After a difficult breakup initiated by a loved one, the abandoned person may think that perhaps his beloved is repenting, that this is not what he really wanted and that he will return soon.
2. Anger. At the second stage, a person begins to feel angry and look for someone to blame. For example, if he injured his spine at a ski resort, he may become angry with his friends who decided to go to the mountains with him. A mother who has lost a child may be angry with older children who were close to him and did not have time to help. A person may also begin to be angry with fate, God, and himself.
3. Bargain. During this period, a person begins to look for how to solve his problem and change it. A seriously ill patient may begin to rush back and forth between doctors, ready to spend any money to get help. A person who has been abandoned by a loved one may try to beg him to start over or at least become friends. Superstitious people often begin to see peculiar “signs”: for example, seeing a white dog, they may decide that this is a good omen and that everything will be fine soon.
4. Depression.
   When a person realizes that his attempts to bargain have led nowhere, he plunges headlong into despair. He feels completely helpless, loses interest in what was important to him before, becomes less sociable, spends a lot of time in bed, and cries. During this period, it is extremely difficult for him to force himself to do anything, because the despair that has gripped him is too strong.
5. Adoption. Over time, despair decreases and the person comes to terms with the pain. He accepts what happened and takes the first steps to move on with his life.

But for everyone, these stages go differently : for some, the stage falls out, and for others, they have been in one of the stages for a very long time. If the transition to another stage does not occur for a long time, this indicates the need to consult a psychotherapist.

Personality qualities that make life easier

It will be easier for a person to be in a state of mental balance if he cultivates the following personality traits :

1. Kindness;
2. Determination. Will provide invaluable assistance in finding solutions to any problems;
3. Sociability. A person with whom it is pleasant to communicate can always count on the support of friends and family;
4. Modesty. It should not be confused with shyness. Modesty is expressed in the fact that a person does not try to flaunt, for example, his financial viability or some other achievements.

It is unlikely that you will be able to achieve peace of mind in one day or even a week. After all, you will need to change your way of thinking, give up bad habits, and sometimes identify and eliminate the main source of stress that greatly interferes with your life.