In modern society, interethnic marriages are far from uncommon. Unions between representatives of different religious faiths have ceased to be an exception to the rule. Thus, marriage is often concluded between a Muslim and a Christian. But what is said about such unions in religion and is a woman obliged to change her religion in order to become a Muslim’s legal wife?
Marry a Muslim, or everything you need to know before marriage
Under the romantic cover of love, the aroma of ripe oranges, among the warm waves of delight, you so want to never be disappointed in your chosen one.
After all, your heart chose him despite the fact that he is of a different faith. As is known, through a system of customs and traditions, everyone reproduces themselves, their spiritual culture, their character and psychology in a series of successive generations. A lot depends on religion here. Often Russian women decide to marry a Muslim without any idea of what awaits them in the future. There are different opinions on this matter. Some argue that Muslims are treacherous and cruel people, capable only of deception for the sake of their own selfish goals. Others believe that these are loving husbands, caring fathers and eternal romantics.
Love may be present
as in the first and second cases. Its development is a special type of relationship between two people.
Each family is unique in its own way. It reflects the personal characteristics of the spouses, family values, national and ethnic traditions. As bearers of such traditions, future spouses reflect different cultures. Their behavior contains generally accepted rules of the game, concepts of norms of behavior characteristic of a particular culture. It is important to understand and respect the culture of your chosen one well if you have already decided to connect your life with him. As a rule, Muslims are very vulnerable, hot-tempered, touchy and insanely jealous.
Before you decide to get married
with a Muslim, a woman needs to think carefully. After all, she gives in to feelings that are motivated by the desire to love and have spiritual intimacy. Romantic love tends to end quickly. It passes and has no continuation. All that remains in the heart is bitter experience and great disappointment. It is worth having a clear idea of what you can expect if your marriage does not work out. Appreciate the opportunity to confront problems that lurk in Islamic culture, such as polygamy. It is important to understand in what faith your children will be raised and that in the event of a divorce they will remain with their father. These and many other questions should be studied by every Russian woman who wants to marry a Muslim.
Before you get married
If you are a Muslim, you should consult a good lawyer. Conclude a marriage contract and a written agreement, which, for example, will stipulate the right to freely choose a profession. Be sure to discuss issues related to the division of property and the place of residence of children in the event of a divorce. Despite the fact that we already live in the 21st century, we are unable to change the centuries-old foundations of patriarchal Muslim society. Indeed, in practice, the legal protection of a woman who marries a Muslim is very poorly provided.
It's important to always remember this
, but also not to forget that the success of any marriage depends on the personal qualities of the man and woman. And everything else is a matter of profit. The main thing is to maintain respect and understanding between each other, filled with homely warmth, no matter what.
So, in the beginning, nikah is performed between a man and a woman. Nikah is a ritual in Islam similar to a Christian wedding. During the ceremony, the mullah tells the bride and groom about their acquired rights and responsibilities. At this time, only close relatives can be present. Such a ritual has no legal force. As a rule, after its completion the wedding itself follows. Muslim weddings consist of several stages and last many days. Weddings are usually attended by all family members, relatives, friends and loved ones. They give magnificent gifts to the newlyweds accompanied by folk songs and rejoice with all their hearts at this happy event. Previously, the groom was obliged to pay a ransom (“kalym”). Now this tradition among Muslims is slowly becoming a thing of the past, since not everyone adheres to customs when holding a wedding. Many Muslim weddings are held without any special differences in relation to our weddings.
If you want to marry a Muslim
, be inaccessible, cunning, do not cause jealousy, do not attract the attention of other men. Love yourself, feel that you are the one and only. Say that you are demanding of relationships and are not in the mood for short meetings. Tell him how strict your parents are. A man will appreciate it. This way you have the opportunity to save yourself from unnecessary disappointments, waste of time and painful partings.
Women who marry a Muslim man gradually take on the role of daughter-in-law in a patriarchal family. They learn the norms of behavior that their husband’s family requires and learn the language. At first, in order to save a marriage, a woman needs great patience. But one day the day will come when they begin to consider her as one of their own. It's no secret that big changes happen to women in such cases. After all, another culture, traditions, another language leave quite a big imprint on her consciousness. Women's behavior, clothing, conversation, lifestyle sometimes become indistinguishable from local residents. This is what truly fabulous love can create, giving two loving hearts harmony and happiness.
EXPERT'S COMMENT
Igor FEDOTOV, lawyer of the Moscow Helsinki Group: - In theory, everyone is equal before Russian law. However, the law cannot always help with the divorce of representatives of different nationalities. If the case is heard at the place of residence of the husband in the Caucasian republics, then (in my subjective opinion) the courts there may be biased. That is, decisions will be made in favor of the man, who, according to local customs, initially occupies a dominant position in relation to the woman. As for marriages with CIS citizens, it all depends on the state in which the case of divorce and residence of children is being considered. If the claim has already been considered in one court, then you can try to resolve the dispute in another, for example, at the woman’s place of residence.
Marriage of a Muslim with a Christian or Jewish woman
Islamic canonical marriage law allows marriages between Muslims and women of the People of the Book (Christians and Jews). At all times - both during the mission of the Prophet and today - Muslim men could marry Christians and Jews.
Today, in the context of globalization and the mixing of cultures, as a result of interfaith marriages, a number of problems arise in families, for example, with raising children in the spirit of the Islamic faith or with instilling in them an Islamic worldview. The demographic factor is also important: marriages of Muslims with non-Muslim women to a certain extent reduce the chances of Muslim women finding a spouse of the same religion, forcing them to marry non-Muslims, which is canonically prohibited.
The overwhelming majority of authoritative scholars of Islam, including theologians of all four madhhabs, expressed the opinion that it is undesirable for a Muslim to marry a woman from the People of the Book
I am Orthodox, and he is Muslim. We fell in love with each other and would like to start a family. Is this possible and under what conditions?
If your feelings are complete, sincere and mutual, then try to see the world through the prism of the worldview in which your loved one lives and, perhaps, you yourself will answer the questions that arise.
I am a baptized Christian, I love a Muslim very much. The love has been mutual for almost five years, but we haven’t been able to start a family because my boyfriend can’t decide on nicknames due to the fact that I don’t accept Islam. His mom doesn't mind me. Recently he turned to his mullah relative for advice, who said that I should definitely convert to Islam.
I feel very good about Islam, knowing that God is One. I want our future children to be Muslims. Yes, and I, perhaps, will accept Islam if I come to it myself. I consider it wrong to take such a responsible step as accepting another faith, knowing practically nothing about it. Please give me some advice. And is it sinful if I convert to Islam because I love a man very much, and he wants to marry a Muslim woman? Tatyana, 27 years old.
You say that the feelings have been mutual for 5 years, but if your intentions are serious, why haven’t you decided after such a long period of time whether you need Muslim spiritual values in your life or not?! And one more thing: if your friend has been cohabiting with you (living as if he were his wife) for all these years, then it is not clear what values he is guided by and what he follows. It turns out that Islam is a kind of formal status, but for the rest - live as you please, the main thing is that words like “live according to the Koran and Sunnah”, “what is it like according to Sharia”, etc. Strange, isn't it?
My Christian wife wants to get married. Can I marry her and then perform a similar ritual according to Muslim traditions? If this is possible, then what and how should be done? Nail, 21 years old.
There is no need to get married, you should not do this, registration with the registry office and a Muslim wedding will be enough.
My fiancé is Muslim, I am a Christian. His parents insist that I change my religion, otherwise I will not be accepted into the family. But I’m not ready for this, or rather, this religion is absolutely unknown to me, to tell the truth, it’s even scary, because, I think, this is a great sin. What should I do? I'm afraid of losing my boyfriend. Veronica, 27 years old.
Yes, a change of belief from the point of view of any confession is regarded as a sin, apostasy. But “there is no compulsion in religion!” (Holy Quran, 2:256). Only your heart can tell you what to do. To get acquainted with Islam, read my books “The Path to Faith and Perfection” and “Peace of the Soul”.
I am a Christian, dating a Muslim. We have a wonderful relationship, but I was married and I'm afraid to tell him about it. I think that if I tell him, he will decide to break up. I’m tired of being silent and it’s becoming more and more difficult to communicate because of this. After all, for him this is a shame, on my part it’s a deception. Irina, 22 years old.
The best thing to do is to tell the truth.
I have Muslim roots, I myself am half Armenian. I would like to connect my life with a Muslim. I am drawn to Islam. But as soon as I begin a relationship with some young man from this environment, after a while everything stops only because I am of a different faith. Answer, why are parents sometimes against the happiness of their children? I come from a decent family, I’m modest and well-mannered, but that’s not what they seem to be looking at.
They, parents, have their own understanding of happiness. For each person it has its own shapes, shades, colors.
I married a Russian girl. After marriage, I found out that she was not a girl, she had a relationship with someone else before me. Can I continue to live with her? Is this allowed or prohibited? Now she is studying Islam and plans to become a Muslim.
Your situation is a sad and common reality of our time. In this case, you canonically have the right to divorce, but you can also continue to live with her if you think that she has repented of what she did and is not going to repeat this kind of sinful and harmful actions.
Christians are not prohibited from marrying Muslim women, but the Islamic side will not approve of such a marriage
Accordingly, a Christian can marry a Muslim woman, from the point of view of Orthodoxy. But there is a problem. The Muslim side will not approve of such a marriage. Read more about this in a quote from Archpriest Mikhail Samokhin:
“Marriage is possible if your girlfriend converts to Christianity and raises your children in the Orthodox faith.
It seems to me almost impossible to obtain consent for such a marriage from the parents,
who are practicing Muslims, since the Koran categorically prohibits Muslim women from marrying non-Muslims.
If you are a believing Christian, then you probably imagine that differences in faith can become the basis for problems in your future family life.
In any case, our future eternity depends on the correctness of our faith,
and therefore right faith is the greatest value,
which must under no circumstances be betrayed, and which must be preserved in all circumstances.”
Mikhail Samokhin
archpriest
Marriage in Islam
Marriage has an important place in the life of Muslims. Marriage is not just a formality, which we often consider a stamp in a passport to be. Marriage is a sacrament that every adult who professes Islam must know. Therefore, Muslims treat marriage with great respect. However, the Koran does not prohibit having multiple wives. However, the spouse must pay equal attention and provide for them.
Islam does not recommend that a Muslim marry a Christian, but it does not prohibit him either
Is it possible for a Muslim to marry a Christian? What does Islam say about this? Yes, it’s not advisable, but it’s possible.
Mufti (theologian in Islam) Suhail Tarmahomed answers this question this way:
“It is unacceptable for a Muslim to marry a non-Muslim woman and vice versa,
the only exception is for marriage with a Christian or Jewish woman,
such a nikah will be valid. لا هن حل لهم و لا هم يحلون Meaning:
“They (non-believing women) are not permitted to them (Muslims) and those (non-believing men) are not permitted to them (Muslim women)” (Quran, Sura 60, verse 10).
The only exception to this rule is marriage to women who are People of the Book (Ahlul-Kitab).
Although such a marriage (on a Jewish or Christian woman) is considered undesirable, the nikkah itself will be valid if the marriage was performed according to Islamic law.
Therefore, if the husband grants talaq (divorce) to this woman, the divorce will be valid.”
Suhail Tarmahomed
mufti
Marriage in Christianity
Our faith provides for equal marriage. The spouses bear mutual responsibility for its preservation. It is advisable for the couple to get married in a church, but you can get by with registration at the registry office. Spouses should be each other's only ones. Any sexual relationship is a grave sin.
Christianity also provides for the leadership of the man in the family, but his decisions must be discussed with his wife.
As you can see, the view of marriage between a man and a woman is very different in both religions. Therefore, you should carefully consider your decision and not rush into marriage with a Muslim.
...AND AWAY
Renat Ibragimov, Albina Ibragimova. The singer lived happily with his wife Albina until he met 21-year-old Svetlana. He hired her as his secretary - and a romance began. Renat offered Albina to be the eldest wife, and Svetlana - the youngest. Albina flatly refused.
Marat Basharov and Lisa Krutsko. The union of Marat and Lisa was secured by an Islamic ritual, at which the mullah read a prayer. At the insistence of Marat, Lisa converted to Islam. However, this step did not strengthen the family. The couple broke up, according to rumors, because of Marat's betrayal. Now Lisa is thinking about returning to the fold of Orthodoxy.
Worked on the materials: Yulia GARMATINA, Indira KOZASOVA, Valentina OBEREMKO, Dmitry PISARENKO, Maria POZDNYAKOVA
Can a Christian woman marry a Muslim?
Such a union is permissible. However, Islam requires a woman to change her faith and follow the Koran. What our women often do when they renounce the church. However, it is worth remembering that God is one and it is not at all necessary to change your faith. Moreover, this is the gravest sin from the point of view of the church.
At the same time, the spouses are obliged to live where they profess Islam, and the wedding must take place in a mosque.
The Christian Church disapproves of marriage with someone of a different faith. The Word of God calls such a union a great evil, “iniquity that exceeds the head, and guilt that grows to the heavens.” And although today priests can no longer influence the decisions of their young parishioners, they disapprove of such marriages. Until 1917, Christian women were prohibited from marrying a man of other faiths.
Interestingly, both religions agree on dating before marriage. Both Christianity and Islam allow future spouses to meet, but not to be alone and not indulge in love pleasures. Although today such traditions are forgotten.
HAPPY TOGETHER…
Ivan Urgant and Natalya Kiknadze. The showman has always been partial to Caucasian women. He lived with TV presenter Tatyana Gevorkyan for 5 years. But he kept the memory of his school love, Natalya Kiknadze. After graduating from school, she married a Georgian. But love turned out to be higher than national passions.
Alsou Safina and Yan Abramov. The businessman, who came from a family of Baku Jews, was introduced to the Tatar woman Alsou by the singer Ariana. Before marriage, Abramov was often seen at parties in the company of women, whom Ian was said to change like gloves. But with Alsou it turned out differently. Now the couple has two daughters.
A look at marriage from the outside
People who marry for love are confident that love can overcome anything. However, the older generation views the union of people of different faiths with skepticism. After all, they understand that feelings sometimes destroy everyday issues that depend on culture and religion. Therefore, such marriages are often condemned by the public.
In addition, people are sure that the union will fall apart for several other reasons. Firstly, a Muslim will definitely want to convert his wife to his faith if he honors the Koran. Secondly, a woman in the future will probably face the problem of polygamy. Today it is prohibited by law. But Muslims continue to practice it, because the Koran allows it.
Consequences
Mixed marriages between representatives of different religious faiths can sometimes lead to certain not very pleasant consequences:
- the emergence of disagreements and conflicts due to inconsistencies between cultures, perceptions of reality, and approaches to raising children;
- misunderstanding and condemnation from others. Moreover, not only neighbors or acquaintances, but also distant relatives, and sometimes even the closest people can reproach;
- if a husband and wife lived in different countries before marriage, then one of them will have to move and, therefore, go through all the difficulties of immigration;
- A person who moves to another country may also encounter difficulties in solving legal problems, health issues, and so on.
But in any case, such marriages also have positive sides. Interfaith unions teach tolerance, understanding of other traditions and cultures, and also contribute to the normalization of relations between countries and ethnic groups.
Dear readers, the information in the article may be out of date, take advantage of a free consultation by calling: Moscow +7
, St. Petersburg
+7 (812) 425-62-38
, Regions
8800-350-97-52
Unpleasant Subtleties
Muslim men are temperamental and peremptory, which causes trepidation in many women. However, it is worth considering that love for a representative of the Islamic religion requires incredible wisdom and even sacrifice from a woman. A Muslim is not used to listening to his wife’s opinion, refraining from having affairs on the side (and in the future he may be tempted to cheat on her). He will also inevitably try to set her on the right path, forcing her to accept Islam.
Conflicts based on misunderstanding of each other will inevitably arise. Views on everyday and financial subtleties differ due to differences in cultures, so it will be important to find a compromise. The bad thing is that Muslims, accustomed to submission from a woman, are not always ready to seek it.
It is also impossible to refuse physical intimacy to your husband. And phrases like “my head hurts” are unlikely to satisfy him. The Koran even allows one to beat one's wife if she deserves it. The use of contraception is also prohibited.
It is especially difficult for those women who left for their husband’s homeland after the wedding. There, surrounded by foreign customs, they have difficulty getting used to their new life. But it is even more difficult to resist a husband who often demands strict submission.
Parenting
You should prepare for the possibility that a question will arise in the future regarding the child’s religion. And it’s better to discuss it before conceiving the baby. Priests note that parishioners often consult with them about the child’s religion. After all, they very often cannot come to an agreement with their husband.
Priest Peter Guryanov notes that not a single Muslim would want to raise his child in someone else's faith. Peter says that even if he initially agrees to his wife’s persuasion, as the child grows up, he will still raise him as a Muslim. The priest learned this simple truth from numerous confessions.
