The holiday of Radonitsa, which is also called Radunitsa, is usually celebrated on the ninth day after the celebration of Easter. It falls on the second Tuesday of St. Thomas Week. Moreover, in some regions of Russia it is celebrated on Monday. In 2021, this day falls on April 28th. The red date of the calendar is considered a folk Christian holiday, when Orthodox Christians remember deceased loved ones. The name of the celebration was given for a reason and was taken from the word “joy”. This date combines faith and hope for eternal life.
What a day - Radonitsa
Radonitsa, in fact, is parental Saturday, which from year to year falls on Tuesday of the calendar, since Easter is traditionally celebrated on Sunday. The day when there is a custom to remember deceased relatives is a special occasion for visiting the grave of a loved one and reading prayers for peace of mind.
One of the popular names for the holiday is “Easter of the Dead.” Thus, believers with families plan to visit the cemetery. According to custom, they took with them colored eggs and Easter cakes. Some of the treats should have been left at the grave so that the celestials could keep company with the living. Despite communication with the departed, it was not recommended to grieve on this day. On the contrary, everyone remained in a cheerful and joyful mood, because they had a unique opportunity to celebrate Easter with their loved ones who no longer live among us. Like the Easter holiday itself, Radonitsa also does not have a strict connection to the calendar.
Traditions of Radonitsa - what you can and cannot do
On this day, many people hold memorial dinners near the graves of their relatives or at home. Although such a ritual is considered pagan, it is not prohibited by the church. He firmly entered into the traditions of Christianity, like many others.
There are no prohibitions on physical labor, handicrafts and other activities during the holiday. If you have paid tribute to the spiritual component of the holiday, you can calmly go about your planned activities. You shouldn’t take the date as another reason for feasting and relaxation.
The ethical prohibitions that apply on all church holidays apply to Radonitsa. On the holiday, it is forbidden to quarrel and create scandals, send curses, refuse to help your neighbor, envy, speak badly about people, and the like.
What date is Radonitsa celebrated in 2020?
The Orthodox world celebrated Easter on April 19 in 2021, so Radonitsa falls on April 28, Tuesday. According to traditions on this day, you can visit the church and pray. After completing this rule, you can go to the burial place of deceased relatives. The Orthodox Church is critical of the idea of drinking alcohol at graves, which has already become traditional for many. According to the interpretation of the clergy, it is not necessary to directly visit the graves of deceased relatives. You can pray without leaving your home, remember the deceased, and ask him for forgiveness. Moreover, during the spread of the COVID-19 pandemic, authorities recommend observing self-isolation.
Christian traditions of Radonitsa
In Radonitsa, according to church rules, funeral services begin, which are not held for a week after Easter, on Bright Week.
Believers are recommended to attend the all-night liturgy in the church and then go to the cemetery. You can clean up the graves after the past winter, you can arrange a memorial meal, but the spiritual component of the holiday should still prevail.
It is prohibited to drink alcohol in unlimited quantities in cemeteries, because in this case believers turn the holiday into a pagan one, not a Christian one. It was during pagan times that it was customary to have fun, sing and dance at the graves of deceased relatives, celebrating important dates, the change of seasons and other significant events.
In Christianity, prayer is considered the main way of communicating with the dead. It is important to remember a person with sincere feelings, you can mentally turn to him with words of forgiveness or a request for forgiveness, you can turn to him with an exciting question, and the like.
You can pray in a temple, at home, or directly in a cemetery - each person can determine the time and place himself. The main thing is that the prayer comes from the depths of the soul, is sincere, the heart remains pure, and the thoughts remain bright.
Traditions and rituals for Radonitsa
There are several customs that are recommended to be performed on the occasion of the holiday:
- Priests were invited to the graves to serve litia;
- give alms to the needy and do other good deeds;
- visit the graves of relatives;
- offer prayers to all Orthodox Christians;
- remember the departed not only in words, but also in prayer.
As a rule, the reading of the prayer began in the evening of the previous day. A similar service in churches was called the Great Requiem Service. According to tradition, priests commemorated relatives. gone to heaven, with a special liturgy
Radonitsa and Fomina week
Radonitsa, also called Parents' Day , is always celebrated on Tuesday of the second week after Easter. This week is called Radonitskaya, or Fomina. This entire period (from Sunday, when the Antipascha of the Apostle Thomas , in the folk calendar Krasnaya Gorka ) is dedicated to the memory of the appearance of Christ to his “distrustful” disciple.
The Apostle Thomas, who was not present at the first appearance of the risen Christ to his disciples, did not believe in the miracle of the resurrection and asked for evidence. Jesus appeared before Thomas, and the apostle even received permission to feel the wounds of Christ. After this, Thomas believed and became one of the most zealous spreaders of Christianity, accepting martyrdom for his missionary work.
However, among the people, the nickname “unbeliever” or “infidel” stuck to Thomas; this is how they began to call everyone who is ready to question seemingly unshakable truths. Nevertheless, in Rus' this saint was extremely revered, and St. Thomas week was very important in the folk calendar. In addition to All Souls' Day, field work began at this time, on which the life of communities depended, and the wedding season began. Read more about the wedding traditions of Krasnaya Gorka of the Federal News Agency .
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A trip to the cemetery
The most common question in treatment these days concerns the timing of when to visit the graves of the deceased in the cemetery. Also, not everyone understands whether it is allowed to clean graves, what behavior of a Christian is welcomed by the church at this time? In honor of the holiday, it is allowed to decorate and clean the burial places of loved ones and put them in order. At the same time, all these procedures can be done in advance or after the holiday. Moreover, it is recommended to do this during Lent. It is not recommended to visit cemeteries at all on the days starting from Palm Sunday and until the onset of Radonitsa.
One should turn to the Lord with private prayers and give alms if those in need come forward. If among the deceased loved ones there were unbaptized or suicides, wild birds were fed. This situation was also further discussed with the clergyman, who explained how to act in this situation. On Trinity Saturday it was supposed to offer prayers even for those who, based on church doctrine, do not have the right to salvation. In Orthodoxy there is no categorical taboo on the right to pray for unrighteous people, because God is merciful to his sons.
A good sign would be prayer for the righteous and saints revered by the Church. After all, those living in this world cannot understand what their needs are now in the afterlife. If you have the opportunity to pray for such a person, do not miss it.
Texts of Orthodox prayers
There are special prayers that are usually said at home or before the grave.
Texts can be read from the prayer book.
About a deceased Christian
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the eternal life of Your departed servant, our brother (name), and as Good and Lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming untruths, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, deliver him eternal torment and fire of Gehenna, and grant him the communion and enjoyment of Your eternal good things, prepared for those who love You: even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly in the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, Your glorified God in the Trinity, Faith, and Unity in the Trinity and the Trinity in Unity, Orthodox even until his last breath of confession. Be merciful to him, and faith, even in You instead of deeds, and with Your saints, as You give generous rest: for there is no man who will live and not sin. But You are the One besides all sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever, and You are the One God of mercies and generosity, and love for mankind, and to You we send glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
Widower
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart, I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: it is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and confess that You have blessed me to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. By your good and wise will you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you have given to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; Even if you care more about the clothing and decoration of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; if you upset anyone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or anything else you have done from such evil people. Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, as Thy creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Thy great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life to ask her from You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive her sins. Yes, as if You, God, placed a crown of stone on her head, crowning her here on earth; Thus crown me with Thy eternal glory in Thy Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them He may forever sing Thy all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Widows
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not consign him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and place him in the Heavenly abodes, which You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; impute to him the same faith, even in You, instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and confess that You will hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; How did You open to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, the doors of Your mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, the hedgehog to have mercy and save, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
About deceased children
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom your deceased servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, O Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my deceased child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in knowledge and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins as well, so that they may not remain on our children: we know that we have sinned many times before You, many of whom we have not observed, and have not done, as You commanded us. If our deceased child, ours or his own, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and not more than You, the Lord and his God: if you loved the delights of this world, and not more than Your Word and Your commandments, if you surrendered with the pleasures of life, and not more than with contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been consigned to oblivion - I earnestly pray to Thee, forgive, most good Father, all such sins of my child, forgive and weaken, even if you have done other evil in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, remove eternal torment and dwell with all Your saints, who have pleased You from the ages, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, blessed of My Father, and inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You are our life and resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
About deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the keeper of the orphans, the refuge of the grieving and the comforter of the weeping. I come running to you, an orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (my mother), (name) (or: with my parents who gave birth and raised me, their names), and his soul ( or: her, or: them), as having gone (or: gone) to You with true faith in You and with firm hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept into Your Kingdom of Heaven. I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away (or: taken away, or: taken away) from me, and I ask You not to take away from him (or: from her, or: from them) Your mercy and mercy. We know, Lord, that You are the Judge of this world, you punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to Thee, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the unforgettable deceased (unforgettable deceased) for me Thy servant (Thy servant), my parent (my mother) (name), but forgive him (her) all his sins ( her) voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by him (her) in his (her) life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him (her) and eternal save me from torment. You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent (my deceased mother) in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order him in a place of light, in a place of coolness and in a place of peace, with all the saints, from nowhere all sickness, sorrow and sighing have fled. Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (Your) (name) my warm prayer and give him (her) Your reward for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught (taught) me first of all to lead You, my Lord, in reverently pray to You, trust in You alone in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his (her) concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of his (her) prayer for me before You and for all the gifts he (she) asked me from You, reward him (her) with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom. For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Litia rite for a layman at home and in the cemetery
Through the prayers of the saints, our fathers, Lord Jesus Christ our God, have mercy on us. Amen.
Glory to Thee, our God, glory to Thee.
Heavenly King, Comforter, Soul of truth, Who is everywhere and fulfills everything, Treasure of good things and Giver of life, come and dwell in us, and cleanse us from all filth, and save, O Good One, our souls.
Holy God, Holy Mighty, Holy Immortal, have mercy on us. (Three times)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Most Holy Trinity, have mercy on us; Lord, cleanse our sins; Master, forgive our iniquities; Holy One, visit and heal our infirmities, for Thy name's sake.
Lord have mercy. (Thrice)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Our Father, who art in heaven! Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, as it is in heaven and on earth. Give us this day our daily bread; and forgive us our debts, just as we forgive our debtors; and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.
Lord have mercy. (12 times)
Glory to the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. And now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.
Come, let us worship our King God. (Bow)
Come, let us worship and fall down before Christ, our King God. (Bow)
Come, let us bow and fall down to Christ Himself, the King and our God. (Bow)
Holiday at home
Radonitsa is included in the list of Christian holidays, and for believers, the worship of religion is a way of life. For this reason, it is important to understand what is allowed on this day and what should be avoided or postponed to another day. You can start cleaning at home. But do not give her all your time, because it is important to devote all your free time to prayers. If you have the opportunity to visit a church or cemetery, do not cancel these plans under the pretext of cleaning the house. If you have unfinished chores around the house, it is better to reschedule them for another time.
You can visit the bathhouse or wash yourself at this time. The ancient Slavs had a belief that did not recommend carrying out hygiene procedures during this period. A similar tradition actually existed, but the bathhouse was heated on this day. They just didn’t wash in it, giving this privilege to the dead. For one day, the doors to the bathhouse could be opened so that the souls of the deceased could enter. However, the modern Church does not at all welcome such traditions. At the same time, among the Orthodox it was considered important to gather the family for a funeral dinner on this day.
Radonitsa - a common holiday with the departed
What kind of day is this - Radonitsa - the first commemoration of the dead after Easter? Why is this holiday called that? How to properly remember your dead on Radonitsa and other days? What superstitions and misconceptions exist related to the memory of the dead?
Day of common joy
Beginning with Holy Week, which is dedicated to the remembrance of the last days of the earthly life of Christ the Savior, on the holiday of Easter and Bright Week, the Church does not perform a memorial service for the departed or another public prayer for them during services. Why? Because this is first a time of church-wide grief over the suffering and death on the cross of Christ the Savior, and then, accordingly, a time of great triumph and joy. And accordingly, funeral proclamations during this period are inappropriate.
But it cannot be said that at some time the Church leaves without prayer and without commemoration its children, either among the living or among the deceased. At any full Liturgy - that is, on Maundy Thursday, on Holy Saturday, at the Easter service itself and throughout Bright Week - the living and deceased are commemorated at the proskomedia, when the priest takes out particles from the prosphora and reads the corresponding prayers, and only after the transformation of wine and bread into the Blood and Body of Christ is accomplished, these particles are poured into the chalice and everyone is remembered again.
And Tuesday next after Bright Week is the first day when the deceased are commemorated in a public manner, when after the Liturgy a memorial service is also performed. And this day becomes a day of common joy - ours and that of our deceased loved ones, because while we perform funeral prayers for them, at the same time we call on them to share with us the joy that we enjoy during this Easter period. And the word “Radonitsa” and the word “joy” have the same root.
In the Kiev-Pechersk Patericon there is an episode when one of the fathers comes to the tomb where the deceased venerable fathers of the Kiev-Pechersk are buried, and exclaims there “Christ is Risen!” and hears the answer: “Truly he is risen!” This is just such an image of how the joy of the Risen Christ is shared by those who have died and those who are now living.
At the cemetery on Easter?
Our compatriots know quite widely about Radonitsa as a special day of remembrance of the dead, and in some regions of Russia this day is a day off. Moreover, often regional authorities annually oblige the relevant services to organize additional routes or public transport flights to cemeteries. But despite all this, many Russians have a firmly rooted tradition of going to churchyards on the feast of the Resurrection of Christ.
Practice shows that those who have not been to church and did not celebrate this greatest celebration go to the cemetery on Easter. In fact, they experience a kind of substitution when, instead of going to the temple, they go to the cemetery. I think that in many ways this tradition, to a large extent, arose in Soviet times, when people were deprived of the Church - deprived not because they could not get there at all, but because they were somehow artificially torn away from it . There were few churches, and it was scary to go to them, so we lost the habit. But the soul demanded something like this, some kind of unity with the spiritual world on this very day - on the basis of some historical, religious memory, which was not fully realized by the person himself. And so people flocked to the cemetery. Today, of course, we must try to get rid of this tradition. It’s better to be in church on Easter, and go to the cemetery on Radonitsa.
On the other hand, if we assume that this is a monastery cemetery or a cemetery at a church, then, probably, nothing prevents you from going to one of the graves on Easter Day or any other day and singing the Easter troparion there or greeting the deceased in the same way the very proclamation “Christ is risen!” But it is, of course, not worth taking this path on purpose, much less putting the graves in order at this time.
There are many superstitions associated with church holidays, traditions and prohibitions. One of these: on Easter, you cannot go to the cemetery, because the deceased are at this celebration together with the risen Savior, and thus, by visiting them at the cemetery, we seem to pull them out of this celebration. Of course, we can’t pull anyone out of nowhere, no matter how hard we try. We can only imagine very roughly where our deceased are, because any knowledge we have here on earth about the spiritual world is very, very relative. And if the Lord gathers someone somewhere for some celebration, then, obviously, those gathered by Him will remain there. And when we pray for our deceased, we only bring certain joy or relief to their soul. And if they themselves have achieved not only salvation by the grace of God, but also some kind of special honor with God, then by praying for them, we, in turn, are granted prayer help from them.
Death at Easter
What if, for example, on these days, when the Church publicly does not commemorate the dead, you need to bury a person and arrange a wake? Naturally, the rite of burial, or, as it is usually called, funeral service, is performed on these days. However, it has its own specific statutory features and is of an Easter-joyful nature. There have been cases when one of our parishioners had the opportunity to perform a funeral service on Bright Week - an amazing feeling from this burial on Bright Week...
There is a church tradition that believes that someone who has passed on to another life on Easter is a person who has been honored with the special mercy of God. But it still seems to me that any explanation of this kind must be consistent with some other circumstances, because many people die on Easter, and among them there are not only pious ones. It’s one thing when a Christian dies on the day of the Resurrection of Christ, who tried to live according to the Gospel, strove for God, repented, fought, we can see in this some special mercy of God. But it’s another matter when an open atheist, a blasphemer of the name of Christ, dies on this day... This cannot be automatically extended to everyone.
I have also heard the belief that those who die on Easter, or on Bright Week, appear before God's judgment without ordeal. In my opinion, it’s not even worth discussing this topic. Firstly, we know about the ordeals, in particular, from the vision of Blessed Theodora and, in part, perhaps, from what was revealed at one time to St. Anthony the Great. But all visions of this kind, which were holy, had, as theologians call it, a certain pedagogical character, that is, we were shown, in forms and images accessible to us, the reality of another world. And it was shown how a person could contain it and convey it to other people. We cannot say that this is how a person travels this path. Does he go through the ordeals as certain stations, as depicted by Blessed Theodora, or does he go through them as described by St. Anthony the Great, who saw a certain giant dragging people down at different levels. In general, we can probably say that in ordeals a person encounters certain obstacles that even in earthly life hindered him on the path to God and to heavenly ascent.
Secondly, the day, date, moment of our death does not depend on us; we cannot order our own death on Easter. But something completely different depends on us: how much we can avoid sinning and bring repentance to God for what we have already sinned.
Attempts to determine, on the basis of external factors, whether the deceased has been honored with God’s mercy have exactly the same idle character. If we know how this person lived and see in his life some reason to hope for the mercy of God and salvation for him, or we notice that his loved ones become more zealous, more zealous in their Christian life, this indirectly somehow testifies to God’s mercy towards him. Again, what is the principle here? If we have the strength to be here some kind of intercessors for him, to strive for this person, then we can be sure that to some extent the Lord is moving us towards this, Who Himself wants to show mercy, and in us, as it were, is looking for a reason for this .
This idea that the Lord, as it were, is looking for a reason to show His mercy to man, is found in two authors who lived at different times and never read each other: St. Theophan the Recluse and the Athonite elder Joseph the Hesychast. And they talk about it in approximately the same words: God is looking for a reason to have mercy on a person. In what sense should these words be understood? That is, God is looking for a reason not to condemn, but to have mercy - this is the direction of God’s will in relation to man. I’ll make a reservation: of course, this expression, “God is looking for a reason,” is conditional. Everything we say about God is extremely imperfect. As St. Isaac the Syrian said, words are the tools of this age, and silence is the sacrament of the future age.
All-Church Commemoration
Why does the Church establish special commemoration of the dead, including with a special rite called parastas, several times a year? The Holy Fathers have this comparison: private prayer is a boat on which a person sits and rows alone, but church prayer is a ship on which there are sails and many rowers. Each of us must remember our own deceased ones, must pray for them, but nevertheless it is necessary that throughout the year there be several such services during which almost the entire Church prays. And, on the one hand, for us this is a kind of school of prayer, a reminder of prayer, and at the same time an opportunity to fulfill our Christian duty of love. That is, at this moment the entire Church, represented by its living members, gathers to pray for all those members of the Church who have already died. This is the meaning of parastas.
There is a misconception that on days of special remembrance of the dead, the Church also prays for those people who independently passed away, that is, for suicides. Of course, this is not true: there are simply no days when the Church would pray for the lives of those who died without permission.
Where this belief came from and what its basis is is very easy to understand. There is probably no more terrible grief than when someone close to you passes away in this way. And I want to find consolation in prayer for such a person and I really want to come up with some reason in connection with which this prayer would still be allowed in the Church. But there is no such reason. You can't even light a candle for them.
But there are two points here. If we are talking about a person who was mentally ill, and this is confirmed by relevant medical documents, then he may not be charged with what he did, since people with certain diagnoses can commit suicide in a state of insanity, or paralyzed illness of the will, when not strength to resist either the action of dark forces, or any kind of stress, or a state of depression. In such cases, the question of the possibility of a person’s funeral service is submitted to a special diocesan commission for consideration.
For relatives and loved ones of those who committed suicide not due to mental illness, we can offer the prayer of St. Leo of Optina, which he gave to one of his students, who greatly grieved for his father, who had committed suicide. It contains some consolation for the reader and, of course, will be some kind of consolation for those who have passed away in such a terrible way. But it’s better not to start reading this prayer yourself, but to come to the temple and take a blessing from the priest.
In addition, I can advise giving alms in memory of a person, doing some good deeds - precisely for his sake. Of course, we should not ask those to whom we do good to pray for him and not bring temptation upon them in this way, because it has been noticed that something very difficult and terrible happens to people who, contrary to church regulations, pray for suicide. Firstly, because they take upon themselves beyond the measure of a person, and secondly, because in this there is a certain pride and desire to be kinder than the Church, more merciful than the Church. And this cannot end well.
The Venerable Elder Paisios of Athos spoke about one man who was unjustifiably, innocently detained for something - this was most likely during the war - he was tortured for a long time, and he, being under the influence of fear and horror of new torment, seized the moment, when he was being transferred somewhere, he threw himself off a cliff. They treated him like a suicide: they didn’t perform a funeral service, and they didn’t bury him in the church cemetery. But Elder Paisios says that, of course, none of us knows what his fate is and, perhaps, the Lord will be merciful to his soul and will not impute to him this sin committed out of fear. And then he gives a completely unexpected explanation for the seemingly cruelty of the Church, which in this case does not perform commemoration: when a person is tempted by the thought of leaving life, there is something that still holds him back. And just one of these deterrent factors is the idea that this is a terrible sin and that the Church will not remember. And if we soften our attitude towards this, then for a huge number of people we ourselves will open this door, which will not be mercy, but cruelty.
Unfortunately, even many people perceive the Church’s refusal to commemorate suicides as rejection, as if we had put the seal of death on a person. But the Church cannot do anything that is simply a sign of rejection. Just like excommunication from the Church is not carried out in order to punish a person and destroy him - but to force him to come to his senses and return, to repent. This apparent cruelty is actually a matter of mercy towards those living and tempted by the thought of suicide, and, to some extent, towards those who have passed away from this life, because they receive some kind of punishment, but at in this they can be worthy of God’s mercy, because God’s judgment is not known about anyone.
About those who died outside the Church?
Today, the clergy does not have a common opinion regarding the funeral and funeral commemoration of those people who were not churched. Some believe that since people made such a choice during their lifetime, that is, they themselves abandoned God, then we have no right to violate this will. Others say that a person could have been mistaken, and now that he has already appeared before God and cannot help himself, our duty is to help him. Personally, I much prefer the second opinion. But I do not dare to rely solely on some of my own experience or views, which may also be erroneous. I rely on the same rites of remembrance of the dead that we have in the Church. We honor the canons that are heard in churches on the days of remembrance of the dead, let us listen to the chants that are sung. And we will understand that we are talking not only about those who lived a pious life, not only about those about whom we have no doubts, but also about everyone who, one way or another, died by their own death and was baptized .
Yes, indeed, in priestly practice there are cases when it was not possible to sing at the funeral service “With the saints, O Lord, rest the soul of your departed servant,” or to pronounce a commemoration in the cemetery for all those buried. Then the person began to stutter, stammer, or his beautiful trained voice refused him, and the singers also could not pick up - and as a result, such a prayer was never said. But nevertheless, we usually commemorate all deceased Orthodox Christians in the Church. Naturally, we cannot know what God’s judgment is about this or that person, but how much evidence we have in history, in the Tradition of the Church, that a person who lived a bad life and has already left the Church, through the prayers of his relatives, sometimes some holy men or wives were honored with the mercy of God.
There is such a humorous expression “to be holier than the Pope.” There is no need to try to be overly strict and determine who was saved, who was not saved, who was worthy of God’s mercy and who was not, because it is not for us to judge this. A man died, he was baptized, we have no evidence that he joined a sect, went to some other religion, or deviated into heresy, or was an obvious atheist, cursing God and the Church all his life, out of love for him - You can remember him.
Of course, if we know that a person was involved in some kind of dark activity in his life, for example, he was a sorcerer, then there is no point in remembering him - there is no need to take on such a terrible cross. If a person was some kind of notorious villain, scoundrel, murderer, then you need to look at your specific strengths. Are you ready to take on this cross? Because even if you write a note, you will somehow take this cross upon yourself. The remarkable Athonite ascetic, Hieroschemamonk Ephraim Katunaksky, who literally lived the Liturgy, performed it every day for many, many years, decades, spoke about his experience of praying for his brother - a sorcerer and warlock. Each time, for this prayer, the elder received, as he put it, a slap on the head or a slap on the head, and he realized that he could not do this. When his brother died and naturally stopped practicing magic, Hieroschemamonk Ephraim slowly began to remember him again and felt that he could already do it. There is such an experience, and perhaps it would also be worth looking back at.
How to pray and what to order in Church?
So, what should a Christian know about the remembrance of the dead? First of all, the funeral prayer is his Christian duty, the duty of his love. After all, they themselves cannot change anything in their lives, but our prayer can change something in their current afterlife and their fate in eternity, until the moment of the Last Judgment. How and to what extent, we do not know, but as a matter of love for them, we pray for them.
You also need to know about the types of this funeral prayer. First of all and most importantly, this is commemoration during the proskomedia and the Divine Liturgy. This could be a note submitted before a specific Liturgy, or a “sorokoust” - that is, a commemoration at forty proskomedia and liturgies. This could be a six-month similar commemoration, an annual one, in some cases it could even be an indefinite one, if such a thing is performed in the temple. Another type of funeral commemoration is a memorial service, which is performed almost every day in our churches. To do this, you also need to come to the temple, submit a note with the name of the deceased, and the priest performing the requiem or litia will pray for him. Of course, it’s best that we don’t just bring notes and leave, as if this matter doesn’t concern us, but take part in these services: stand at the Liturgy, at the memorial service, and pray together with the priest for loved ones.
Funeral litia - a short funeral prayer - as a rule, it is performed in cemeteries or during Lent, on weekdays.
A good way to remember the dead is also the Psalter, which a person can read at home. Some monasteries also accept notes for commemoration of the Psalter, which is read for the living and the deceased.
We can also read the canon about the deceased for our loved ones - it is in many prayer books, and you can find it on the Internet. And finally, the so-called akathist about the one who died. This akathist is read not about different people, but about one person; as a rule, it is read forty days after death, and there is a tradition of reading it forty days before the anniversary of the person’s death. But in principle, probably, nothing prohibits reading it at some other time. This akathist is very deep, touching, touching, and it is, of course, a great consolation for those who mourn the departed, as well as for the departed themselves.
In addition to this, of course, you need to know that when a person dies, the canon on the outcome of the soul must be read; if this person suffers for a long time and the soul cannot be separated from the body, there is also a canon that is read about the person who has suffered for a long time. It is ideal when a priest can do this, but if it is impossible to invite a priest at this moment, then family and friends can do it. There are special Sequences that must be read immediately after the death of a person. They include the canon on the exodus of the soul and the Psalter on repose, which are read one after another.
And, of course, you need to know that the Lord first of all hears and accepts not prayer as a form where one thing follows another, and all the words stand in their places, but the prayer that comes from our heart. Therefore, in addition to the established prayer rites, we can pray in our own words, about the simplest things: we can ask the Lord to forgive our deceased relative or friend all his sins that he committed here on earth, voluntary and involuntary, and to grant His mercy and His Heavenly Kingdoms. You can pray about this in your own words, anywhere, at any time, and I always advise people who have just experienced the loss of a loved one to make sure to pray this prayer as often as possible. How often? But every time they remember the deceased, every time their hearts clench with pain, they must say these words. And again, the soul is comforted and calmed down, and most importantly, the soul of the one who has already passed away is comforted and calmed down.
Radonitsa 2021: what not to do on April 28
Radonitsa is a special holiday for Christians, which falls on April 28 this year. The name of the celebration comes from the word “joy,” and it itself had a special status, since it was located in the calendar almost immediately after the end of Easter Week. During these days, it was important to rejoice at the resurrection of Jesus Christ, who showed the way to another, eternal life. On the occasion of the holiday, it was impossible to grieve over the passing of loved ones to the next world. It was important to offer a prayer for the souls of relatives, to remember their life path.
It was not recommended to conflict or swear on the occasion of the holiday; they did not drink or smoke near the graves, and did not show excessive joy. It was forbidden to mention the souls of loved ones while holding vodka or other alcoholic drinks. Among the important prohibitions were loud displays of emotions, foul language, shouting, and even bad thoughts about a person who had passed into another world. If possible, do not engage in heavy physical labor during this time. You can also reschedule cleaning and solving various household problems to another date.
When is Radonitsa this year?
This holiday is not stable and depends on the day of Easter. It is celebrated on the 9th day after Easter. On the day of commemoration of Radonitsa, you must come to the cemetery and clean the grave. Even in pagan times, this place was considered sacred. And since it is precisely this that is designated for the resurrection of the dead, it must be kept clean.
The best article for you, go to: Where do they put a cross on the graves of Orthodox Christians?
An ordinary wooden or metal cross will be more suitable for a deceased believer than stone monuments. It is also necessary to remember this. That the cross should be installed at the feet of the deceased so that he can see the Life-giving Cross of the Lord.
After arriving at the cemetery, you must light a candle and read a prayer. Most often, clergy recommend reading litias. The rite of lithium, which is performed in the cemetery and at home:
- Troparion of Easter (Christ is risen from the dead...)
- Psalm 90
- Troparion, tone 4
- Sedalen, voice 5
- Kontakion, tone 8
- Ikos
If you do not know any church rituals and prayers, then it is better to stand silently and remember the deceased. There is no need to bring food and drinks to graves, but rather leave them there. It's better to give them to those in need.
The Lord is always with you!
